How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back And Look Good Doing It

For the record, I see you there. I see you with your pint of ice cream, your box of Kleenex and your sappy music playing in the background. I see you watching The Notebook over and over again, reminding yourself that real love never dies. And I see you scouring the Internet, looking for answers and ways to win your ex boyfriend back. Admit it, right now your Google search box looks a little something like this:

Is it possible to get my ex boyfriend back?Woman crying while a man is walking away.

How to get my ex boyfriend back fast?

How can I get him back?

I see you, and I am here to tell you right now that it is time to stop. Stop moping and stop searching; I have your answers. I am

going to tell you how to win him back after a breakup.

But first, you have to pull yourself together.

So deep breaths ladies. Time to put your big-girl panties on and take action. Put the ice cream away, shut off The Notebook and pay attention. You can win him back, but happily ever after is going to take some work on your part first.

If you want to follow a step-by-step proven system, click here to see my top recommendation.


Give it Some Space

I want you to do me a favor. Think back on the last 24 hours, the time that precipitated your mad Google search for how to get him back after a breakup. What has your state of mind been like? What have you been feeling? Thinking? Doing?

My best bet is that you have been a bit all over the place. A little chaotic and hypersensitive to just about everything. Desperate to get him back and clueless about how to accomplish that.

How close am I?

I don’t want you to feel bad. This is all normal, including the panicked thoughts about how to win back your ex boyfriend. Once, after a particularly bad breakup, I spent an entire week in my apartment with the blinds closed and the phone unplugged. I cried for days on end and ate nothing but wheat thins and cream cheese while I plotted out text messages that I was sure would be integral in getting him back.

Woman upset and crying in her hands.The picture of stability and strength, right?

We’ve all been there. It is a post-breakup haze that can drown out all reasonability; a voice in your head telling you to text your ex at 3 in the morning to tell him how much you miss him, because surely that is how to win him back.

Ignore that voice, it’s the devil.

OK, so that may be a bit dramatic. But that voice really is up to no good; it is the beaten down and broken-hearted part of you that simply isn’t capable of thinking clearly. And if you truly want to know how to win your ex boyfriend back, you have drown out that voice.

In fact, that voice is precisely why you need to give your ex a bit of breathing room after a breakup. You have to get your head on straight first if you want to get your man back.

You need to kick the desperation and your ex needs to have some time and space to start missing you.

So the first step to getting back together after a breakup is to institute a bit of radio silence. We refer to this as the No Contact Rule 30 to 60 days where you avoid contact with your ex at all costs.

It may sound impossible at first, but this time is essential to healing and moving forward.

So take his number out of your phone, resist the urge to e-mail him and stay away from the places where you know a run-in might otherwise be possible. It isn’t easy, but it is necessary if you want to know how to get your boyfriend back after a break up.

Just remember that it won’t be forever, and when you do get back in touch; those fireworks will have been given a chance to spark again.


Live it Up

Woman is sitting in a sofa and is upset. She has her face in her hands crying over a problem.

So what are you supposed to do during the weeks when contact is off limits? Well, the answer is simple – you love your life.

I mean it. While the urge may be to hole up at home and avoid the world scheming about ways to get him back, that is the last thing you should be doing. Word spreads quickly though social circles and if you turn yourself into a hermit post-breakup, your ex will surely hear about what a recluse you have become.

And he will assume it is because you are so broken-hearted over your breakup that you just can’t pull yourself out of bed.

You don’t want him thinking that, even if it is true. In fact, what you really want is for your ex to think you have moved on with ease… Not that you are constantly battling “I want him back” thoughts. You want him to believe that getting over what you two had has really been no big deal at all.

It may not be true. Heck, it may not even be plausible. But this is how you start to get into his head; it is how you speak to his ego and leave him questioning his importance in your life. The best way to get your ex boyfriend back is to make him think getting back together is the last thing on your mind.

Which will make him want you more.

Believe it or not, that is also how you begin to heal. Because as cathartic as a little isolation may sound, it really just winds up making you feel depressed for longer. Instead, call up your friends and plan a girl’s night. Propose a weekend getaway. Dance your heart out and say “yes” to every invitation that is extended your way.

Get out of the house and live your life.

Before you know it, that smile you have been faking will actually start to feel real.


Improve on You

Woman practicing yoga in a forest.

Do you know what everyone dreams about after a breakup, whether they want their ex back or not? They dream about that first run-in – the moment when someone either wins or loses.

Because yes, there are always winners and losers in a breakup.

Do you know how you win?

By radiating awesomeness.

Look, you were fantastic while the two of you were together. You’re an incredible person to begin with. But, there isn’t much better than running into an ex when you are at the top of your game.

If you want to know how to win someone after a breakup, now is the time to get at the top of your game.

Relationships have a way of sucking every free second out of our lives. But breakups? Those are a time for reinvention, self-reflection and becoming an even better version of you.

So take full advantage of this time. Start chasing some dreams you have put on the back burner as of late. Get back to the gym. Splurge on a new wardrobe and a visit to your favorite hair stylist. Take care of you and focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

The girl who will undoubtedly win the next time she sees her ex.



So you have made it through the no contact period and have been living it up and taking incredible care of yourself – congratulations! Now you finally get to confront your ex with what he let go of.

You have to be careful about how you do this though. You don’t want to just show up on his doorstep or start stalking his work. No, you want that first run-in to seem completely coincidental. Knowing how to win a guy back often involves the ability to be a bit covert.

In a perfect world, you would be able to show up at a party thrown by mutual friends and catch your ex’s eye from across the room. Those occasions don’t always present themselves though, so you may need to get a bit more creative. I once went to the same bar for happy hour 5 nights in a row, knowing it was a favorite spot of my ex’s and that he would eventually show up.

The bonus was that I got some quality time with friends while we waited for his appearance.

When he finally did show, I looked incredible and had my head held high. Because I had been waiting for him, I was able to remain confident and interact with him with ease. And because he hadn’t been expecting to see him, he was caught off guard and clearly shocked by how good I seemed to be doing.

Needless to say, we were back together within 2 weeks.

You can do the same; you just may need to do a little recon to figure out where he is most likely to be in the few weeks. Remember, you don’t want anything to appear too obvious. This should be an accidentally-on-purpose encounter that leaves him desperate for more.

If you’re not ready to meet your ex in person, I totally understand. Those emotions can unexpectedly rush back and make you freeze up. What I would recommend is to take it slow and establish a new connection with your ex through text messaging.

Keep the messages casual and simple and see how he responds. It’s more private and you’ll be in full control at your own comfort.


Keep it Casual

Man and woman having lunch at a restaurant with wine.

No matter how great it is to see him, you want to keep a cool head and avoid begging for another chance. Talk to him for a few minutes and then find yourself a reason to excuse yourself. Do this all with a smile on your face and a sincere warmth in your attitude – but don’t be afraid of making it clear that you’ve got other things to do and people to see.

In all likelihood, you will hear from him in the days following your run-in. But if, on the off chance, you don’t – you can shoot him a text after a few days. Keep it short and simple, something like:

“It was great to see you the other night. Would love to catch up over drinks sometime if you have a chance.”

His curiosity will prevent him from saying “no” and getting that one-on-one time will present the opportunity to further show him how well you are doing.

But no matter what, you need to keep things casual on your end. Don’t chase, don’t beg, and don’t elude to a yearning for the past. You need to keep him guessing, wondering what your motivations are in wanting to see him.

He is going to go into this assuming that you want him back, so if you can keep a friendly tone to the entire encounter – you will leave him wondering why you don’t want him back.

And from there, his ego will convince him to chase.


Let Him Chase

That’s the thing about men; they don’t like to feel as though they are so easy to get over. And if you are willing to sit across a table from him with nothing but the friendliest of intentions, he is going to feel suddenly driven to get you back.

Let him go with that.

Seriously, you deserve to be chased. Flirt, smile and welcome his advances – but don’t give into them too easily. You want him to think that you really did just want to be friends; he should push the rest.

Trust me, he will push. Because suddenly, you have shown him just what a catch he let go of.

And just like that, you will have won him back… and you will have looked damn good doing it!


Follow A Proven Blueprint To Win Him Back

Entire package of Text Your Ex Back system.

Of course, sometimes men need a little extra convincing to realize what they had. If he isn’t exactly crawling at your feet and begging for a second chance just yet, check out our review of the Text Your Ex Back system for even more advice on winning him back in style!

This is the most comprehensive “get your ex back” guide I’ve seen. The text messaging techniques taught in the course will give you all the power and control you need to get your ex’s attention.

Don’t wait, your command is just a push of a button away.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 9 comments
alishba - 11 months ago

Hi!i have known this guy for about a year. Everything was going pretty well and then after 4 months of relationship he asked me to have sex. To which I replied no. He said take or leave it. And he went away. He came back after a week and everything was normal again. Then after few months he asked me to send him a shirtless pic. To which i again refused and he said he is done and does not want to be with me anymore. I contacted him several times but still he refused! Then after about a month he came back!all this discusion was through texting we had not met. Then after this we met on his bday on which i gave him a surprise. Then he didnt like me going out every single day with my friends to which i promised him i wont go out. Then i did go out and broke his promise. He hate liars. And another fight we had was that i asked him to give me some time.. as he was not taking time out for me. He had said to me many times that he is like this. But i kept on arguing with him and so he broke off. And now he does not beleive me. What should I do??
Plz help

    Charice - a few months ago

    Your best option is find another man who respects you. Sounds like your ex doesn’t respect you and acts a bit immature. If he doesn’t appreciate you, then he doesn’t deserve you.

laura - 3 weeks ago

My name is Laura I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years everything was good he was so good and sweet to me we spent every second of everyday together till about a week and a half ago he said he’s not in love with me anymore he doesn’t feel the same way I told him we always get through it we can fix it but he didn’t want to. I begged and pleaded but nothing seems to work anymore I sent him our pictures our videos but he’s just acting very cold towards me. I really need your help my heart is breaking I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried the no contact rule but we study at the same collage and have all the same classes and he always sits next to me asks how I’m doing and does the class work with me. This happened once before but it only took him 3 days to come back to me since I was still in school and he did not see or hear from me for 3 days. he’s never been in love i was his first love he was a player before me and we were like family. he is not him at all he’s acting very strange and different i don’t know what to do. when he talked to me he told me he’s been feeling that way for 2 weeks he said that when we kiss and touch he doesn’t feel the same anymore. I’ve noticed him with this new girl this past week but i can tell he’s not in love with her. I’m just afraid he gets used to her and his new life away from me because he said he doesn’t feel happy with me anymore and he wants his life back. I’m really in love with him. i tried to tell him love will come and go i told him he was feeling that way because we’ve been fighting for 2 weeks and he kept saying he feels like were distant, but he kept insisting thats how he feels and the love isn’t coming back.

    Charice - last week

    Is your relationship missing the spark and excitement? Perhaps the relationship is a bit “regular” in which you need to find some ways to bring back the attraction. Have a look at my posts on Secrets of Attraction on the top menu for some ideas. Your ex is considering exploring other option which is normal. The only way to prevent this is to be as invested in the relationship as he is and let him know that he’s also just an “option” for you too.

Marry - a couple of weeks ago

I really need some advice, my ex and I have known each other since childhood. One day last year he started flirting online with me and then we started texting and really hit it off. He lived out of state and I wasn’t ready for long distance, but he still kept trying for me. So after months of flirting and falling more and more I decided we can give long distance a try since he comes back to our home town often and I can go visit him. After a few months of that things were good and he actually as able to move back home and we were so perfect for each other. Saw each other all the time and fell more in love, spent time with both our families all the time and every one was happy. Then my life got stressful with work and studying for Med school applications. And he got a new job that was very demanding and took a lot of his time. I noticed things became distant when he didnt have time to see me or even just relax with me, he always had work first and his family is also very demanding and took a lot of his time as well. I was planning on talking to him about the issues but he’s not one to be up front and talk things out, he rather tell me “its okay ” so i thought there were no issues, when in reality i pushed him to far and kept asking to see him or plan things or complain when he didnt even have energy to talk after work. We had date night once a week and i would see him maybe once or twice on weekends and that was okay with me, but i still made him feel bad about it. One day he had so much work he asked for me to leave him alone for a weekend and that upset me and i ended up calling him one to many times, and he exploded and told me he can’t do this any more that he needed his space and to break up, he said he wanted to figure himself out and get his life in order and that he felt bad that he didnt have the time a girl friend like me deserves and that he didnt want to hurt me anymore. I was devastated, this messed up my studying and my life for weeks. We didnt communicate for a week then i ran into him at an event, we talked some but knew it wasn’t the right time or location for a chat like this. Then we talked a few days later but everyone was still heated, he said he didnt have the answers i needed and he doesn’t know what the future holds and that he’s sorry he had to do this to me and hopes we can be friends later that we just need space now. Yet he says he cares about me and still has feelings for me. Im so confused, and probably asked to soon if he can see himself with me again, since he did the same exact thing to his last girlfriend for the same reasons and took her back. He tells me he doesn’t know what our future will be more then friends or not and doesn’t want to give me false hope…. If he worked on his own issues and i worked on mine could we get back together in a few months? he keeps saying i did nothing wrong and its all him and his own issues, but i know i was needy and acted ways I’m not proud of. I was just so scared to lose him i ended up pushing him away. I just want to know how to get him back or make him realize if we just talk about our issues instead of running from them maybe things would be smoother when were both on the same page. I really love him and deep down know he still cares for me and loves me. Im just so scared to say the wrong things now and push him away even more. He is having a major surgery soon and i care so much, but don’t want to make him think I’m needy. Could he really have his own personal issues? or did he just use that excuse to let me down easy? He tells me there is no one else but i don’t want him to move on without me during this space period if we don’t talk about things. Please help I’m a lost soul, this is my first heart break and after over a year of talking and almost 9 months dating i just can’t see why he would leave me so suddenly with out answering any questions. Is there any way to get him back? I try to contatct him as little as i can so he has space but its hard and we are still friends on social media even though he deleted all signs of our relationship together. i just worry so much that i lost my best friend and will never have him back in my life as even a friends. When we do talk i ramble and talk in circles and i know thats pushing him away more so I’m trying to stop. I just over think everything and always questioned everything and i guess it showed I’m insecure when i really have bad anxiety over a lot of things. he was always so supportive and calming and then he just left me over one fight, our first fight….I just want to talk about all i have thought about since he left me and how i hope to fix things so we can grow together. what should i do!? sorry for the long post I’m just a very confused heart broken girl who lost the love of my life, at 25! thanks for the help

Elizabeth - a couple of weeks ago

Hi. so almost 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 and half years broke up with me. He did it over the phone and the phone call was about 30 seconds and just said it was over then turned his phone off so i could not talk to him. we have had little fights in the past but nothing like this, where he doesn’t even tell me why. I have talked to him a few times since then and about 5 days after we talked in person and he said he just couldn’t do it anymore, which i didn’t really understand cause i thought we were in a really good place. When i saw him in person i gave him a letter saying how much i love him and how we should give it a second chance and he said he loved me but he wasn’t in love with me anymore. Which i have been thinking about and i don’t really understand because he did not seem like that at all. and i do seem him everyday because we have class together but we don’t talk to each other. and i have a lot of guy friends and some of my friends have been telling me that he doesn’t like how am hangout with them all the times. i want to get him back and i have been doing NC the pass few weeks. and am not sure if i should move on or wait it out because i want him back.

    Charice - last week

    It’s best for you to move on with your life. There’s no point for you to wait for him and put your life on hold. The key here is that once your ex sees you moving on, there’s a possibility that he will pursue you. If he sees you in a new light, he’ll be more drawn to you.

Natasha - a couple of weeks ago

I have been with my ex bf for 7 years (since high school).
It started off him liking me while I was moving on from my earlier ex bf in school. He came into the pic to comfort me and later fell in love with me.
I nevr had the same feelings for him at that time. Since the beginning we use to hang on the phone 24/7. If we are not on phone we are in the school meeting up. It was that crazy the attachment. I was his first love. And he found so much comfort with me. After a few months I started avoiding him and he went into depression because I have avoided him due to his persusive behavior to accept him as my bf. After 6 months from not talking to each other, I missed him and I contacted him and told him to not push me because I treasure the friendship. He agreed and a few months later, I felt that I love him and told him that I am ready to be his gf.
It was all good for first few months until he had to leave to pursue his studies in another state. We constantly have argument for he wants space and time and I am missing him.
Soon after that I too went to pursue my studies in a different state and able to adapt to his schedule. he never stooped complaining to me that I never gave him space and time. I have fit myself to sccept less than 10 hrs call a day and 6 months once visit that what we initially had and yet he is not happy with the transformation. Things build up and we had a major break up. He was deeply hurt when I kept rubbing on his wound over and over again as I kept venting out whatever in me. He was crying and he was deeply hurt. (I did not do it on purpose but I was really frustrated). I had really hard time moving on. I could never lose contact from him. After 2 years, we talked as usual and we went out as friends. he then have graduated and into work life.
On the almost the end of 3rd year after the break up, I graduated and now working. And after that I slowly started to want to have him again. I expressed to him that if we can give it another try since we are more grown up now.It took quite sometime for him to agree because he said that the past hurts and trauma have not resolved within him but he agrees for 2nd chance because he knows that we came far in life. It was all well for the first 2 months ofthe 2nd chance relationship. I completely fell for him and it has bee topic on and off of how he is feeling for me. on the following month, he disappointed me and kept changing decisions on some matters and that frustrates me. I have expressed to him but it still happens until one day I kept bombarding him on text messages although we were in the same car going to church. I kept expressing him my disappointments and that he is unreliable. And that I am not giving up but it bothers me. Now he is hurt for the second time from me. That contributed to our 2nd break up now. And I am all yearning to have him back because I wasnt expecting break up butinstead I was expecting for us to work together in going through all odds and finally have a happy ending. Now, I could not stop texting him and telling him how I feel. And that frustrates him and he have been scolding me non stop when I am already hurt.
Please help me and guide me to what I should do now or is it too late to fight for him and get him back?

    Charice - last week

    Try to understand what your ex wants and where his decisions are coming from. It’s important to be supportive of where he’s at and help him reach his goals. It seems like there are a lot of expectations from you about how your ex should behave and act. This is controlling and will only drive him further away. Why do you want him back if you keep pushing him away?


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