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How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back And Look Good Doing It

For the record, I see you there. I see you with your pint of ice cream, your box of Kleenex and your sappy music playing in the background. I see you watching The Notebook over and over again, reminding yourself that real love never dies. And I see you scouring the Internet, looking for answers and ways to win your ex boyfriend back. Admit it, right now your Google search box looks a little something like this:

Is it possible to get my ex boyfriend back?Woman crying while a man is walking away.

How to get my ex boyfriend back fast?

How can I get him back?

I see you, and I am here to tell you right now that it is time to stop. Stop moping and stop searching; I have your answers. I am

going to tell you how to win him back after a breakup.

But first, you have to pull yourself together.

So deep breaths ladies. Time to put your big-girl panties on and take action. Put the ice cream away, shut off The Notebook and pay attention. You can win him back, but happily ever after is going to take some work on your part first.

If you want to follow a step-by-step proven system, click here to see my top recommendation.

 

Give it Some Space

I want you to do me a favor. Think back on the last 24 hours, the time that precipitated your mad Google search for how to get him back after a breakup. What has your state of mind been like? What have you been feeling? Thinking? Doing?

My best bet is that you have been a bit all over the place. A little chaotic and hypersensitive to just about everything. Desperate to get him back and clueless about how to accomplish that.

How close am I?

I don’t want you to feel bad. This is all normal, including the panicked thoughts about how to win back your ex boyfriend. Once, after a particularly bad breakup, I spent an entire week in my apartment with the blinds closed and the phone unplugged. I cried for days on end and ate nothing but wheat thins and cream cheese while I plotted out text messages that I was sure would be integral in getting him back.

Woman upset and crying in her hands.The picture of stability and strength, right?

We’ve all been there. It is a post-breakup haze that can drown out all reasonability; a voice in your head telling you to text your ex at 3 in the morning to tell him how much you miss him, because surely that is how to win him back.

Ignore that voice, it’s the devil.

OK, so that may be a bit dramatic. But that voice really is up to no good; it is the beaten down and broken-hearted part of you that simply isn’t capable of thinking clearly. And if you truly want to know how to win your ex boyfriend back, you have drown out that voice.

In fact, that voice is precisely why you need to give your ex a bit of breathing room after a breakup. You have to get your head on straight first if you want to get your man back.

You need to kick the desperation and your ex needs to have some time and space to start missing you.

So the first step to getting back together after a breakup is to institute a bit of radio silence. We refer to this as the No Contact Rule 30 to 60 days where you avoid contact with your ex at all costs.

It may sound impossible at first, but this time is essential to healing and moving forward.

So take his number out of your phone, resist the urge to e-mail him and stay away from the places where you know a run-in might otherwise be possible. It isn’t easy, but it is necessary if you want to know how to get your boyfriend back after a break up.

Just remember that it won’t be forever, and when you do get back in touch; those fireworks will have been given a chance to spark again.

 

Live it Up

Woman is sitting in a sofa and is upset. She has her face in her hands crying over a problem.

So what are you supposed to do during the weeks when contact is off limits? Well, the answer is simple – you love your life.

I mean it. While the urge may be to hole up at home and avoid the world scheming about ways to get him back, that is the last thing you should be doing. Word spreads quickly though social circles and if you turn yourself into a hermit post-breakup, your ex will surely hear about what a recluse you have become.

And he will assume it is because you are so broken-hearted over your breakup that you just can’t pull yourself out of bed.

You don’t want him thinking that, even if it is true. In fact, what you really want is for your ex to think you have moved on with ease… Not that you are constantly battling “I want him back” thoughts. You want him to believe that getting over what you two had has really been no big deal at all.

It may not be true. Heck, it may not even be plausible. But this is how you start to get into his head; it is how you speak to his ego and leave him questioning his importance in your life. The best way to get your ex boyfriend back is to make him think getting back together is the last thing on your mind.

Which will make him want you more.

Believe it or not, that is also how you begin to heal. Because as cathartic as a little isolation may sound, it really just winds up making you feel depressed for longer. Instead, call up your friends and plan a girl’s night. Propose a weekend getaway. Dance your heart out and say “yes” to every invitation that is extended your way.

Get out of the house and live your life.

Before you know it, that smile you have been faking will actually start to feel real.

 

Improve on You

Woman practicing yoga in a forest.

Do you know what everyone dreams about after a breakup, whether they want their ex back or not? They dream about that first run-in – the moment when someone either wins or loses.

Because yes, there are always winners and losers in a breakup.

Do you know how you win?

By radiating awesomeness.

Look, you were fantastic while the two of you were together. You’re an incredible person to begin with. But, there isn’t much better than running into an ex when you are at the top of your game.

If you want to know how to win someone after a breakup, now is the time to get at the top of your game.

Relationships have a way of sucking every free second out of our lives. But breakups? Those are a time for reinvention, self-reflection and becoming an even better version of you.

So take full advantage of this time. Start chasing some dreams you have put on the back burner as of late. Get back to the gym. Splurge on a new wardrobe and a visit to your favorite hair stylist. Take care of you and focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

The girl who will undoubtedly win the next time she sees her ex.

 

Accidentally-on-Purpose

So you have made it through the no contact period and have been living it up and taking incredible care of yourself – congratulations! Now you finally get to confront your ex with what he let go of.

You have to be careful about how you do this though. You don’t want to just show up on his doorstep or start stalking his work. No, you want that first run-in to seem completely coincidental. Knowing how to win a guy back often involves the ability to be a bit covert.

In a perfect world, you would be able to show up at a party thrown by mutual friends and catch your ex’s eye from across the room. Those occasions don’t always present themselves though, so you may need to get a bit more creative. I once went to the same bar for happy hour 5 nights in a row, knowing it was a favorite spot of my ex’s and that he would eventually show up.

The bonus was that I got some quality time with friends while we waited for his appearance.

When he finally did show, I looked incredible and had my head held high. Because I had been waiting for him, I was able to remain confident and interact with him with ease. And because he hadn’t been expecting to see him, he was caught off guard and clearly shocked by how good I seemed to be doing.

Needless to say, we were back together within 2 weeks.

You can do the same; you just may need to do a little recon to figure out where he is most likely to be in the few weeks. Remember, you don’t want anything to appear too obvious. This should be an accidentally-on-purpose encounter that leaves him desperate for more.

If you’re not ready to meet your ex in person, I totally understand. Those emotions can unexpectedly rush back and make you freeze up. What I would recommend is to take it slow and establish a new connection with your ex through text messaging.

Keep the messages casual and simple and see how he responds. It’s more private and you’ll be in full control at your own comfort.

 

Keep it Casual

Man and woman having lunch at a restaurant with wine.

No matter how great it is to see him, you want to keep a cool head and avoid begging for another chance. Talk to him for a few minutes and then find yourself a reason to excuse yourself. Do this all with a smile on your face and a sincere warmth in your attitude – but don’t be afraid of making it clear that you’ve got other things to do and people to see.

In all likelihood, you will hear from him in the days following your run-in. But if, on the off chance, you don’t – you can shoot him a text after a few days. Keep it short and simple, something like:

“It was great to see you the other night. Would love to catch up over drinks sometime if you have a chance.”

His curiosity will prevent him from saying “no” and getting that one-on-one time will present the opportunity to further show him how well you are doing.

But no matter what, you need to keep things casual on your end. Don’t chase, don’t beg, and don’t elude to a yearning for the past. You need to keep him guessing, wondering what your motivations are in wanting to see him.

He is going to go into this assuming that you want him back, so if you can keep a friendly tone to the entire encounter – you will leave him wondering why you don’t want him back.

And from there, his ego will convince him to chase.

 

Let Him Chase

That’s the thing about men; they don’t like to feel as though they are so easy to get over. And if you are willing to sit across a table from him with nothing but the friendliest of intentions, he is going to feel suddenly driven to get you back.

Let him go with that.

Seriously, you deserve to be chased. Flirt, smile and welcome his advances – but don’t give into them too easily. You want him to think that you really did just want to be friends; he should push the rest.

Trust me, he will push. Because suddenly, you have shown him just what a catch he let go of.

And just like that, you will have won him back… and you will have looked damn good doing it!

 

Follow A Proven Blueprint To Win Him Back

Entire package of Text Your Ex Back system.

Of course, sometimes men need a little extra convincing to realize what they had. If he isn’t exactly crawling at your feet and begging for a second chance just yet, check out our review of the Text Your Ex Back system for even more advice on winning him back in style!

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Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 16 comments
alishba - last year

Hi!i have known this guy for about a year. Everything was going pretty well and then after 4 months of relationship he asked me to have sex. To which I replied no. He said take or leave it. And he went away. He came back after a week and everything was normal again. Then after few months he asked me to send him a shirtless pic. To which i again refused and he said he is done and does not want to be with me anymore. I contacted him several times but still he refused! Then after about a month he came back!all this discusion was through texting we had not met. Then after this we met on his bday on which i gave him a surprise. Then he didnt like me going out every single day with my friends to which i promised him i wont go out. Then i did go out and broke his promise. He hate liars. And another fight we had was that i asked him to give me some time.. as he was not taking time out for me. He had said to me many times that he is like this. But i kept on arguing with him and so he broke off. And now he does not beleive me. What should I do??
Plz help

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    Your best option is find another man who respects you. Sounds like your ex doesn’t respect you and acts a bit immature. If he doesn’t appreciate you, then he doesn’t deserve you.

    Reply
laura - a few months ago

My name is Laura I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years everything was good he was so good and sweet to me we spent every second of everyday together till about a week and a half ago he said he’s not in love with me anymore he doesn’t feel the same way I told him we always get through it we can fix it but he didn’t want to. I begged and pleaded but nothing seems to work anymore I sent him our pictures our videos but he’s just acting very cold towards me. I really need your help my heart is breaking I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried the no contact rule but we study at the same collage and have all the same classes and he always sits next to me asks how I’m doing and does the class work with me. This happened once before but it only took him 3 days to come back to me since I was still in school and he did not see or hear from me for 3 days. he’s never been in love i was his first love he was a player before me and we were like family. he is not him at all he’s acting very strange and different i don’t know what to do. when he talked to me he told me he’s been feeling that way for 2 weeks he said that when we kiss and touch he doesn’t feel the same anymore. I’ve noticed him with this new girl this past week but i can tell he’s not in love with her. I’m just afraid he gets used to her and his new life away from me because he said he doesn’t feel happy with me anymore and he wants his life back. I’m really in love with him. i tried to tell him love will come and go i told him he was feeling that way because we’ve been fighting for 2 weeks and he kept saying he feels like were distant, but he kept insisting thats how he feels and the love isn’t coming back.

Reply
    Charice - a couple of months ago

    Is your relationship missing the spark and excitement? Perhaps the relationship is a bit “regular” in which you need to find some ways to bring back the attraction. Have a look at my posts on Secrets of Attraction on the top menu for some ideas. Your ex is considering exploring other option which is normal. The only way to prevent this is to be as invested in the relationship as he is and let him know that he’s also just an “option” for you too.

    Reply
Marry - a few months ago

I really need some advice, my ex and I have known each other since childhood. One day last year he started flirting online with me and then we started texting and really hit it off. He lived out of state and I wasn’t ready for long distance, but he still kept trying for me. So after months of flirting and falling more and more I decided we can give long distance a try since he comes back to our home town often and I can go visit him. After a few months of that things were good and he actually as able to move back home and we were so perfect for each other. Saw each other all the time and fell more in love, spent time with both our families all the time and every one was happy. Then my life got stressful with work and studying for Med school applications. And he got a new job that was very demanding and took a lot of his time. I noticed things became distant when he didnt have time to see me or even just relax with me, he always had work first and his family is also very demanding and took a lot of his time as well. I was planning on talking to him about the issues but he’s not one to be up front and talk things out, he rather tell me “its okay ” so i thought there were no issues, when in reality i pushed him to far and kept asking to see him or plan things or complain when he didnt even have energy to talk after work. We had date night once a week and i would see him maybe once or twice on weekends and that was okay with me, but i still made him feel bad about it. One day he had so much work he asked for me to leave him alone for a weekend and that upset me and i ended up calling him one to many times, and he exploded and told me he can’t do this any more that he needed his space and to break up, he said he wanted to figure himself out and get his life in order and that he felt bad that he didnt have the time a girl friend like me deserves and that he didnt want to hurt me anymore. I was devastated, this messed up my studying and my life for weeks. We didnt communicate for a week then i ran into him at an event, we talked some but knew it wasn’t the right time or location for a chat like this. Then we talked a few days later but everyone was still heated, he said he didnt have the answers i needed and he doesn’t know what the future holds and that he’s sorry he had to do this to me and hopes we can be friends later that we just need space now. Yet he says he cares about me and still has feelings for me. Im so confused, and probably asked to soon if he can see himself with me again, since he did the same exact thing to his last girlfriend for the same reasons and took her back. He tells me he doesn’t know what our future will be more then friends or not and doesn’t want to give me false hope…. If he worked on his own issues and i worked on mine could we get back together in a few months? he keeps saying i did nothing wrong and its all him and his own issues, but i know i was needy and acted ways I’m not proud of. I was just so scared to lose him i ended up pushing him away. I just want to know how to get him back or make him realize if we just talk about our issues instead of running from them maybe things would be smoother when were both on the same page. I really love him and deep down know he still cares for me and loves me. Im just so scared to say the wrong things now and push him away even more. He is having a major surgery soon and i care so much, but don’t want to make him think I’m needy. Could he really have his own personal issues? or did he just use that excuse to let me down easy? He tells me there is no one else but i don’t want him to move on without me during this space period if we don’t talk about things. Please help I’m a lost soul, this is my first heart break and after over a year of talking and almost 9 months dating i just can’t see why he would leave me so suddenly with out answering any questions. Is there any way to get him back? I try to contatct him as little as i can so he has space but its hard and we are still friends on social media even though he deleted all signs of our relationship together. i just worry so much that i lost my best friend and will never have him back in my life as even a friends. When we do talk i ramble and talk in circles and i know thats pushing him away more so I’m trying to stop. I just over think everything and always questioned everything and i guess it showed I’m insecure when i really have bad anxiety over a lot of things. he was always so supportive and calming and then he just left me over one fight, our first fight….I just want to talk about all i have thought about since he left me and how i hope to fix things so we can grow together. what should i do!? sorry for the long post I’m just a very confused heart broken girl who lost the love of my life, at 25! thanks for the help

Reply
Elizabeth - a couple of months ago

Hi. so almost 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 and half years broke up with me. He did it over the phone and the phone call was about 30 seconds and just said it was over then turned his phone off so i could not talk to him. we have had little fights in the past but nothing like this, where he doesn’t even tell me why. I have talked to him a few times since then and about 5 days after we talked in person and he said he just couldn’t do it anymore, which i didn’t really understand cause i thought we were in a really good place. When i saw him in person i gave him a letter saying how much i love him and how we should give it a second chance and he said he loved me but he wasn’t in love with me anymore. Which i have been thinking about and i don’t really understand because he did not seem like that at all. and i do seem him everyday because we have class together but we don’t talk to each other. and i have a lot of guy friends and some of my friends have been telling me that he doesn’t like how am hangout with them all the times. i want to get him back and i have been doing NC the pass few weeks. and am not sure if i should move on or wait it out because i want him back.

Reply
    Charice - a couple of months ago

    It’s best for you to move on with your life. There’s no point for you to wait for him and put your life on hold. The key here is that once your ex sees you moving on, there’s a possibility that he will pursue you. If he sees you in a new light, he’ll be more drawn to you.

    Reply
Natasha - a couple of months ago

Hi!
I have been with my ex bf for 7 years (since high school).
It started off him liking me while I was moving on from my earlier ex bf in school. He came into the pic to comfort me and later fell in love with me.
I nevr had the same feelings for him at that time. Since the beginning we use to hang on the phone 24/7. If we are not on phone we are in the school meeting up. It was that crazy the attachment. I was his first love. And he found so much comfort with me. After a few months I started avoiding him and he went into depression because I have avoided him due to his persusive behavior to accept him as my bf. After 6 months from not talking to each other, I missed him and I contacted him and told him to not push me because I treasure the friendship. He agreed and a few months later, I felt that I love him and told him that I am ready to be his gf.
It was all good for first few months until he had to leave to pursue his studies in another state. We constantly have argument for he wants space and time and I am missing him.
Soon after that I too went to pursue my studies in a different state and able to adapt to his schedule. he never stooped complaining to me that I never gave him space and time. I have fit myself to sccept less than 10 hrs call a day and 6 months once visit that what we initially had and yet he is not happy with the transformation. Things build up and we had a major break up. He was deeply hurt when I kept rubbing on his wound over and over again as I kept venting out whatever in me. He was crying and he was deeply hurt. (I did not do it on purpose but I was really frustrated). I had really hard time moving on. I could never lose contact from him. After 2 years, we talked as usual and we went out as friends. he then have graduated and into work life.
On the almost the end of 3rd year after the break up, I graduated and now working. And after that I slowly started to want to have him again. I expressed to him that if we can give it another try since we are more grown up now.It took quite sometime for him to agree because he said that the past hurts and trauma have not resolved within him but he agrees for 2nd chance because he knows that we came far in life. It was all well for the first 2 months ofthe 2nd chance relationship. I completely fell for him and it has bee topic on and off of how he is feeling for me. on the following month, he disappointed me and kept changing decisions on some matters and that frustrates me. I have expressed to him but it still happens until one day I kept bombarding him on text messages although we were in the same car going to church. I kept expressing him my disappointments and that he is unreliable. And that I am not giving up but it bothers me. Now he is hurt for the second time from me. That contributed to our 2nd break up now. And I am all yearning to have him back because I wasnt expecting break up butinstead I was expecting for us to work together in going through all odds and finally have a happy ending. Now, I could not stop texting him and telling him how I feel. And that frustrates him and he have been scolding me non stop when I am already hurt.
Please help me and guide me to what I should do now or is it too late to fight for him and get him back?

Reply
    Charice - a couple of months ago

    Try to understand what your ex wants and where his decisions are coming from. It’s important to be supportive of where he’s at and help him reach his goals. It seems like there are a lot of expectations from you about how your ex should behave and act. This is controlling and will only drive him further away. Why do you want him back if you keep pushing him away?

    Reply
Parker - a couple of months ago

So we dated for 5 months and we are long distance. Everything was pretty great, he told me he loved me, etc. He’s pretty scarred from bad relationships. Then the texts started to diminish and I have a feeling there are other girls. I gave him space and didn’t nag or act needy, but having my sweet text ignored while he wasn’t too busy to be on social media hurt me.

I told him he doesn’t care about me and he blew up and screamed at me. I apologised and he’s been ignoring me for over a week.

What should I do? We made such a good match. I’m so upset but I haven’t text or called him because I know it will make it worse.

Reply
Jennifer nottis - a couple of months ago

Hi there, I would like to know if you think there is any hope. My bf of eight months broke up with me saying he wasn’t sure about the next step. Things had been pretty good up until then although we were going slow. I am the first girl he’s liked in five years and his history doesn’t seem very strong in relationships. He was engaged about twenty years ago (he’s 46 now) and he thinks that’s the one time he might’ve been in love. Before he went overseas he made an announcement that I was the total and complete package for him and I thought he was going to propose and instead he broke up with me a few days later saying he wasn’t ready for the next step. He confused me so much when he did that because he seemed totally devastated to do it and wouldn’t stop crying. Then he went overseas for six weeks to visit his dying father, then he came home and we had a few romantic nights. I lost it with him a few times because I couldn’t work out where his head was at and have said some nasty things to him. Nasty to the point where I’m surprised he still speaks to me. His father died a few weeks after he got home, he had to go away again and before he left we were in a good place friend-wise. He has two friends in the city we live in and I’m one of them. He had a pretty traumatic time overseas arranging the funeral etc and I only got one email in four weeks but I knew he had stuff to do so I didn’t worry. Anyway, he’s home now and we had one dinner and drinks date the other night which went well but at the end of it he told me he can’t ever see us back together. I cried of course and told him I couldn’t be friends with him because I want everything from him and friends would never be enough. I even told him I’d thought he was going to propose. He’s pretty upset that I don’t want to be friends and I asked him to pretty much pretend I don’t exist at work (we’re in different divisions so don’t need to speak for work and it’s a huge building). He’s pretty much used to me sending cute messages every couple of days so he knows he’s loved and cared for but I’ve started no contact on him and haven’t done anything at all. He’s seen me twice at work (and I promise I looked very hot!) and looked like he wanted to walk straight over to me but respected what I’d asked for and just smiled at me. When we last spoke he kept begging me to take some time and then maybe I’d be able to be friends with him so I know it’s not his get out of jail free card and he genuinely wants my friendship but I would never be able to do it. As a side note, he’s a hoarder, is pretty messed up emotionally (even more so after his father died) and even admitted that he hasn’t washed dishes or clothes in the two weeks since he’s been home so he clearly has depression. He sleeps all day on the weekends and doesn’t seem motivated to do anything. To my knowledge he isn’t being treated for any illnesses and has never come out and said there’s anything wrong with him, he has told me the other things and even that he has rats. I on the other hand am an A-list girl and can get anyone I want but now I can’t stop crying because HE’S all I want. My question is do you think it’s worth persevering, doing NC then reintroducing myself in a non friend way and seeing if he responds or is it a waste of time after he’s said he can’t see us back together?

Reply
K - a couple of months ago

Hi,
My first time ever asking for advice but here goes, I was with my ex bf for 2 1/2 years plus we did live together. We were a bit of opposites attract but I really loved him and he treated me well. We did once breakup while only dating for 3 months when the puppy love phase settled down and we really started to get to know each other. Somehow we gave it another shot because he’s like my best friend and when we had good time we really had good times, plus him and I were less selfish as well. But then hitting our 2 years we hit a bump in the relationship. He wanted to change his career from an office job to become a firefighter, which I totally supported him on this. He was working 2 jobs his 9 to 5 and then bouncing at a nightclub. It was rather tough cuz we barely spent time together, then he got another 2 job instead of bouncing which wasn’t bad cuz we did spent time together. He did have an issue with me about trying to better my career choice and that I should go to school again, I do want to be in the beauty industry and he supports it, but cosmetology school is very expensive at where I live. Times I’ve had arguments because he hated that I kept doubting myself, plus he did not get along with my father at all. My fathers a tough man to deal with but it had a bit of strain on our relationship. Now he’s been traveling allot for taking written and physical exams for the fire depart. He’s going to school to get his EMT certification and he let go of his 2 job. Problems arose when I lost my job and I was waitressing at the time, so we then had financial issues. I did get a job but the hours were not that great so with my part time gig and his office job income, we didn’t do much of dating like we did before we were on a tight budget, and arguments always arose from this, but we somehow try to make it work. Then what was worse my sister knew I was having problems with my bf so she’s close friends with one of my past ex bf , well he wanted to get me back. I did have love for him and I got attention from him that my bf wasn’t giving me, so I’d press my bf with arguments about when I’d be engaged, finances, my current situation with my job, if I wanted to go to school or not.. 3 months of arguing 1 to 2 days of the week was daring plus I did not want to cheat on him with my other ex bf. we kept trying to make it work but he came to the conclusion that it was best to part ways, he felt that as a bf he wasn’t doing his job to give me that attention and that at the moment I’m 2 priority in his life, I just simply agreed like ok fine no problem, things happen for a reason. We ended amicable, but because I was gonna be with another man. Worst mistake I’ve done in my life to go from one relationship to another! I still loved my bf and the new guy I was getting nothing but irritated so I left him for good. I called my ex trying to get back with him, he said look I love you but we are in diffrent paths of our lives right now, and my priority is to get my career straight, I won’t have time for you or another woman for that matter, it’s better this way. I felt soo down and I’m just really down about this situation. Only time he last spoke to me was to say happy thanksgiving after that I haven’t heard from him since. 3 days then I sent a pic of our dog and he said thank you and that’s all. I want him back I want to make it work but I don’t know if I should fully do the no contact for maybe 3 or 4 months and then get in touch? How do I try to rekindle our relationship back?

Reply
Tiana - last month

Hi I have dated my bf for 3 years he broke up with me this Saturday. And I’m heart broken. I love him so much, he broke up with me because there was drama going on between me and him and another guy there a guy that likes me and my bf think I liked him but I don’t and I keep on telling him that but he doesn’t believe me. But then the guy is trying to break us up so then he can have me but i keep on telling him I don’t like u in that way I love my boy and I never want to leave him. So now I’m really sad. Now he just got a new gf for now but Is there a way I can get him back in my life I want him back

Reply
    Charice - last month

    It’s possible that your actions with the other guy caused your ex to break up with you. In what ways did your ex feel that you were interested in the other guy? It’s also possible that your ex is using this guy as an excuse to break up with you so he can quickly be with another girl. Whether or not this girl is a rebound or not, I would give it some time to see how this plays out. In the meantime, stay away from drama but go about your social life to get your mind off the breakup.

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Bhavya - last month

I just had my first break up 4 days ago. I got talking to him a year ago, we were in the relationship for 6 months. We became friends debating about intellectual stuff (like Quantum Physics), we had different viewpoints and it was fun talking to him. There was constant bickering, but we talked for hours, days together.. We hung out for the first time when he wanted me to help him wrap a present for his teacher who was leaving. When we parted after that, there was something we both felt, never talked about it. His friends pushed him to date me because they said we were perfect together, and to prove them wrong, he asked me out for a movie two days later. We met at the mall, although the movie couldn’t happen (no tickets), so we hung around instead. His favorite teacher had left for another city that day, he was upset. Things were a little subdued between us (less debating), but he got discussing us about the pros and cons of dating each other. The only con was that he was moving for college, and it’d be a long-distance thing. When we were about to leave the restaurant, for some reason, I said he couldn’t lift me up. To prove me wrong, when out of the restaurant, he suddenly lifted me off my feet. I blushed, he looked at me and smiled, I screamed for him to put me down. Later that day, he did it twice again, he squeezed be between his arms, stuck close to me, was goofy, all the signs of showing he was into me. We decided later that night to be together, but be open to any other ‘fits’ that might come our way. We weren’t in love then. It was the first relationship for both of us. Before he left for college, we had an official date and we kissed. The kiss was enough to connect our souls, felt heavenly. We soon fell in love. Things were smooth even though we were long-distance. There were arguments too. I’m temperamental, he’s arrogant, we both are impatient and stubborn. Nevertheless, we were deep in love.

There were more dates. We craved each other, we made commitments, got too intimate, breathed, caressed, cherished each other. He wrote letters to me, explaining how much he loved me, how we were destined to be together, how he saw the ‘wife’ in me, how we were already like a married couple, how we were the ‘one’ for each other etc. He was always truthful about everything. He can’t lie about such stuff. He hates infidelity. All that was fine, but there was the cycle of rows and patch-ups. The 14th of November was a date, and I didn’t see that ‘look’ in his eyes, felt disconnected to him. We had our moments, but it didn’t feel as good as before. I got insecure, and right after the date (he was leaving for the airport), I texted him that it was over. He was devasted, miserable throughout his flight. I was broken…got home, and I realized how badly I was in love with him, how I couldn’t do without him. I texted him about it, he still loved me, we got back together after a long discussion. My insecurities kept growing. I was guilty about what I’d done. I thought he deserved better than me, I told him so. He said I could give him what I thought he deserved, and that he’d stay. I went into a phase of stress-induced-depression after that. I was irritable, went without food and sleep for weeks, worked like a machine. It wrecked him. He was too worried about my condition. He felt chained, helpless because we were miles apart. At times he thought he was responsible for my condition, I assured him otherwise, yet he wasn’t really convinced. We had more arguments. The 3rd of December arrived. It was my birthday, he called up to wish me. He seemed distant again, I was rude, brash, asked him why he’d called up instead of thanking him. He hung up on me, he was too hurt and disturbed. The next day he told me he wasn’t feeling like before. He had been through a lot because of me, and he said it was all his fault instead. I felt more guilty, asked him to take a break if needed, maybe even break up if it made him feel better. I was more concerned about him well-being than mine. We lost communication for days after that. He was getting busier with time. One day he texted that he didn’t feel for me anymore, and we were done. I didn’t believe it because what we had was beyond special, it was real, pure love, and feelings like that never could die. He was advised to give it another shot, and he did so (apparently). That night we had a conversation like older times, he told me he was seriously missing me. Things could have taken a different turn then, but I started feeling suffocated after that. I needed to vent out, I’d suffered a lot too. I needed him to listen to me, to answer me, but he was too busy. He was torn between work and the relationship. This seemed already doomed, he put in everything he had into his work. It was decided even before we started that our priority would be work, considering that we’re too young. Our relationship remained ignored during these days. I was getting impatient, insecure, and even more suffocated. I was making wild assumptions about him, texting him all the rubbish on earth, he was as it is too stressed out. He got done with his work and we met on the 24th when he finally told me that he had no feelings for me and that it was over. Whatever I did, tried, nothing worked. I still believe we can get back together if the love was real (I believe it was), but he says that when things like this end for him, they’re final, and that no probabilities exist for us to get back together. I can’t help but see how real everything was, and it was destiny, we never felt this way before. I love him unconditionally and hope he’ll realize this love and come back to me. He doesn’t even want to remain friends anymore, he’s cut off all communication from me, and I can’t do anything about it. I know the love was real, but I don’t really know what happens next. He says he doesn’t (and can’t) feel for me anymore, but even he’s having a difficult time moving on. He said he doesn’t miss ‘us’ but does have our memories and is reminded of them. Every single thing that he thought was true before has turned into the negative now. He wants to get over me completely, but I think that’s not what is supposed to be, considering how deep we were in love. I know I should do nothing about it now, but please tell me if it was real, and if I can expect him to come back? Everyone is probably hating on me, and yes, I made mistakes, but please remember that he didn’t communicate enough with me. He never told me about his problems and stuff… Like I was kept in complete darkness about it, and suddenly things lost their gravity. He went to his friends for advice, but never tried to discuss things with me. But love doesn’t die that easy…. or does it?

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Kaili - 3 weeks ago

So me and my ex “dated” in middle school…twice and he is a little immature, when he dumped the first time it was mutual we both weren’t ready for a relationship. The second time we thought we were ready until of course other fish in the sea had to show up and he broke up with me. He smiled at me and said ” I am sorry I didn’t want to hurt you but I’m breaking up with you.” I thought he was joking and then I realized he was serious. He dated two girls for about 1 week to 3 weeks and their relationships didn’t last. He dated me for almost 6 months. Highschool came and I promised myself I wouldn’t associate myself with him anymore until i noticed we had art class together. I walked straight to the front of the class leaving him in the back only for the seat next to me to be filled by him. He talked to me everyday every time he had the chance and I of course had fallen for him again. The one day to my surprise he told me he had a crush on a girl named.… lets just call her dudet. Well dudet and my ex dated for about a week when she dumped him for not being herself around him. Then he ignored me for a while. We got assigned seats away from each other and that’s what I blamed our silence on. He hasn’t dated another girl that I’m aware of since dudet but when classmates talk about US he and I both blush and say nahhhh we over each other when honestly I can’t get my mind off him. We been apart since last February so it will almost be a year.…… I miss him. Then a new guy came. Asked me out I rejected saying I didn’t want to be in a relationship. Little did he know I had feelings for my ex. We are going to call this new guy Ralf. Lol that’s not his real name. Anywho Ralf started acting like we had a thing and I got uncomfortable and now he is mad at me because he thinks I like a different guy that I don’t and my ex says he’ll fight any guy if u ever need him too. My ex asked for my dads number so he could call him up and say “hey can you get me some condoms for my birthday so I can f**k your daughter. ” I think he was playing but I can’t help but miss and want him back. Somebody pleaseeeeeeee help meeeee!!!

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