98

How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You Without Trying

Trying to make your ex boyfriend miss you badly? Let’s face it, relationships are hard. Men are difficult to understand. And even when a couple has everything going for them, things can fall apart. Which is probably what happened to you and your old flame. It’s also probably why you are now asking yourself (and me) how to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

If you truly want to make someone miss you, there are small changes you can make that will help you instantly get your ex’s attention and show him what he’s missing out on.

This is what you want. Right?

I am going to teach you, how to make him miss you and want you back. As it should be – with lots of apologies and flowers if we do our job right! It is an endeavor that starts with reminding him of what he has lost. Never forget what a catch you are. Your ex boyfriend was lucky to have you before and he will be lucky to have you again.

Here’s a breakdown of the steps we’ll discuss to make him miss you:

  1. Get out of dodge to get him off your mind.
  2. Play coy and show him what it means to miss you.
  3. Get your life back and show him success.
  4. Reel him in slowly by texting him at your command.

And once you’re ready to make him miss you, it takes one simple text message to get his heart racing.

Click here to watch this video that reveals the secrets of text messaging.

But before we get to texting, you need to work on yourself.

 

Get Out of Dodge

You have to stay away from him and start your new life without him by your side.

Now, I know what you are thinking: “how do I make my ex miss me?” Look, you and I both know it’s not as simple as snapping your fingers and making it happen. If it were, you would have already done that. But figuring out how to make your ex miss you is possible. And the good news is, it starts with a vacation, or a little pampering.

friends-selfie-beachThat’s right. You now have the perfect excuse to get out of dodge. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and a little distance between you and your ex boyfriend right now is exactly what the doctor ordered. If you want to get your former flame to miss you, you need to pack a bag and peace out.

Book a ticket somewhere you have always wanted to go. Cash in your PTO days at work. Plan on getting a new stamp on your passport. Call up some friends and propose a grand adventure. It really doesn’t matter where you go – just that you go. And that you post lots of photos online and brag to your friends about what a great time you are having.

Before you know it, the seeds will have been planted to make your ex miss you like crazy. And you will be having a blast building up a master plan. All by just having fun.

Can’t leave town? You can:

  • Spend a day at the spa.
  • Go visit friends for a weekend getaway.
  • Start going to the gym and working on yourself.
  • Cross out one of your lifetime desires on your bucket list.

The goal is to get away from him. If you can’t get out of dodge, don’t contact him and spend a week regrouping. Do something fun, visit your friends, go to the movies, show him that your life hasn’t stopped.

Here’s what happens when you leave town after a breakup: word gets back to your ex boyfriend, who assumes you are already moving on. That ignites a touch of regret in him, as your former flame wonders whether he may have made a mistake in letting you go.

Which, for the record, he totally did.

The best part is that he now realizes you aren’t just waiting at home for him. He can’t call you up for a late night drunken bootie call, or decide he has changed his mind and beg to see you tomorrow. You are gone, and with that distance he realizes that you are currently out of reach. It doesn’t matter that it isn’t permanent; this gives him a taste of what it would be like if that separation were final.

And trust me, he won’t like it.

I’ve seen this one in action first hand. Years ago, when I split from my ex, I decided I deserved a vacation. I did it mostly for me, needing a bit of spiritual cleansing from the chaos that had been our ending. So I booked a ticket to Thailand and took off halfway across the world all on my own. I was already gone by the time he heard about my adventure; one we had always talked about taking together. Let’s just say that when I got home… there were a lot of frantic calls and texts waiting for me.

I broke his hold on me and did something for me. The texts and frantic calls were the icing on the cake; he was already dying for a way back into my life.

Because ironically, the best way to make him miss you, is to make him believe you have stopped missing him.

Boys are funny like that, fragile little egos in even the most burly of men.

 

Play Coy and Let Him Wonder for Awhile

Woman makes a keep shush gesture.A lot of women have the bad habit of wearing their hearts on their sleeves. To some extent, we can’t help it. We love with full and adoring hearts, and often – that is what endears men to us in the first place. But in the midst of a breakup, when you are looking for ways to make him miss you, that vulnerability needs to be kept in check.

Let him be the vulnerable one for a little while.

Your internal thought process right now may be a steady stream of questions:

  • “Does my ex boyfriend miss me?”
  • “What will make my ex miss me?”
  • “How do I know if my ex misses me?”

But you want to keep those questions to yourself for now. I know it’s hard. I know that as women, we are wired to communicate. You want to talk through your feelings with everyone you know – analyzing and rehashing the details of your breakup until you feel better.

But now is the time to play coy. Because if anyone knows that you are trying to figure out how to get him to want you back, that information will find its way to your ex in no time.

And as we’ve already discussed – you don’t want him to know that you miss him. Not now at least. He needs to think you are moving on, igniting in him the desire to win you back.

So cover that heart of yours up for just a little while and keep your cards close to your chest. You want to be the one in control here. Remember, it is him who should be missing you.

For the record, it is normal for you to spend nights wondering and worrying, wasting countless hours Googling how to make your ex boyfriend want you back. Most women experience a similar state of grief and even single-mindedness at this point, so don’t chastise yourself for that.

In fact, get a journal and use that to document this emotional process. Just don’t let anyone else in on what you are currently feeling. Now is the time to put on a happy face and pretend all is well.

Think of it as faking it to make it; pretending you are just fine, until you actually are just fine.

If you need a step-by-step guide, the exercises in this program will help you take control of your emotions.

 

Get Back to Your Life and He Will Come Knocking

It’s time to get back to your life. You’re probably having the urge to jump at him and fall deeply in love again, but it’s not time yet.

You have taken your awesome vacation and put on a happy face. You haven’t shown up on his friends’ doorsteps begging, “Please, just make him miss me!” or pounded down his door and sobbed for another chance. You have held your head high and pretended like an Oscar winning actress.

The kind who doesn’t wind up in the tabloids, of course.
The point is, you have worked hard. And if you just hold tight a little longer, you will get to see the fruits of your labor.

It is right around this stage that a lot of women start to get nervous. They haven’t heard from their old flames yet, and they start to fear that they never will. But just as you are reaching a point of desperation, he is reaching the height of missing you. I have seen it happen time and time again. Breakups are basically a play for power, and if you can stick to the act just a bit longer… the power will be in your hands.

So stop. Stop staring at your phone and checking your text messages 100 times a day. Leave the damn thing at home if you need to. Obsessing over his lack of communication won’t make him reach out any faster, it will just make you crazy. Get back to your life instead, remaining confident in the fact that he will eventually cave and call.

You can’t, by no means, make the first contact. Make him sweat until he breaks down.

 

You Need to Let Him in Slowly

Woman in coffee shop looking at phone.After playing a bit of cat and mouse with your ex, you can finally agree to see him. This is where all of your hard work will finally pay off.

How do you start slowly? Texting.

Texting is the Perfect Ice Breaker
Texting allows you to break the ice. You don’t need to be witty or hear his voice or laugh just yet. Instead, start with a simple text message:

  • “Hey remember that time we went to….”
  • “I was wondering if you still have my….”

You get the point. Make him think of a good moment that you two cherished, but don’t cave just yet. The goal is to make him think of the past and how special your relationship really was.

Once you get his attention, don’t be lightning fast to respond back to him; make him wait a bit. You want him to know he’s on your mind, but you don’t want to be available just yet.

It will come to the point where the two of you can finally see each other. When this happens, you’ll want to proceed to the actual in-person meeting.

 

Knock His Socks Off

Wear an outfit you know he loves; one that will remind him of good times you used to have together. Smile when you see him, and share a warm and genuine hug. Then, focus on being the girl he fell in love with. Remember that girl? The one who, in the beginning of your relationship, was fun and easy-going? Be her. Leave the heavy stuff for later. Right now, you just want him to enjoy being around you.

A couple is enjoying a picnic in the park with a guitar.And you know what? You want to enjoy being around him too.

The more you can remind him of that girl he used to love, the more your ex will start to fall for you again. Relationships are hard, and there will always be hurdles. But learning how to tap back into those beginning stages of falling in love will help you to make things work this next time around.

So keep the relationship talk off the table and just have fun together for a little while. Keep your pants on while you’re at it; the two of you will be easing back into relationship territory before you know it.

And enjoy it. It’s not every day you get a do-over in falling in love!

If you really want to make this stick, check out my review of Text Your Ex Back. This step-by-step program will help you re-establish a new connection with your ex through text messages. You’ll learn the secrets of making him miss you over text and how to get him to initiate your first meetup.

Nothing wrong with creating a fresh relationship in the comfort of your home and getting him worked up for you again!

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 98 comments
neaka - last year

This article really helps, thanks for the advice

Reply
    Ashely - 7 months ago

    Hey me and my baby father have been together for 3 years we have a 1 year old baby girl I went thru his phone almost a month ago and found he was sedating a female late night/early hours I completely blew my cool and attacked him hitting him pulling his hair everything I could. I did the no contact rule and we stopped talking for 3 weeks I sent him a picture of our daughter at the pool he blew my phone up begging and pleading we get back together. I accepted after giving him a hard time 2 weeks later I find myself getting back on the subject of him cheating on me he hung up on me and told me hes not perfect and ignored my calls the whole entire day. Later that day I stopped by his house his car was outside knocking on his door for 5 -10 minutes he didn’t answer the door at all but he was inside. I left and came back 10 minutes later and did the same thing he didn’t answer the door I went home and left voicemail s and called crying he told me my attitude was the reason he did me that way. I don’t know what to do right now I cut off all contact with him again I’m just confused. He hasn’t tried to contact me or apologize

    Reply
      Ashely - 7 months ago

      Sexting ** I always wonder if he’s thinking about me or really wants to be with me. He has so much pride and he knows it

      Reply
      Charice - 7 months ago

      For him to cheat on you when you two just had a child is completely wrong. But I’m more concerned about what he meant when he said your “attitude was the reason he did me that way”. What is he referring to? Could you be partially wrong that led to him cheating on you? Or is he just finding an excuse?

      Reply
        Ashely - 7 months ago

        He says I have an attitude problem, I know I have a bit of anger issues. But I try working on that I just let myself explode when I feel as if he is lying. I kept bringing up the fact he cheated after I took him back which is why he’s saying my attitude and the reason for me to keep bringing it up after the fact

        Reply
          Charice - 7 months ago

          Focus on working on your own issues first. It will pay off in the long run and make your relationships better.

          Reply
neaka - last year

Loved this

Reply
leby - last year

My comment is a question, how would this possibly work if he’s already seeing and feeling for someone else?

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    If he’s seeing someone else, just let him be. It’s out of your control so don’t fuss over it. Instead focus on yourself and increasing your attraction levels. Just think of this, if you become more attractive, wouldn’t your ex be more drawn to you? You’ll get his attention naturally and trigger his curiosity.

    Reply
Lexi - last year

My ex boyfriend stopped talking to me about 4 months ago. He said he is dating someone. About 2 weeks ago, I sent him a smiley face. He sent one back and he me how I was? We started texting now & then. I mentioned something about a drink for New Years he said we can’t see each other while he is dating. He would let me know when things change.
Sunday I texted him, thinking of you!
But didn’t get any response?
I guess I shouldn’t have sent that text!!

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    If he’s dating someone, you should be too. If you keep texting him, he’ll see that as you being available and waiting for him.

    Reply
Deborah Ligons - last year

My ex boyfriend of 9 years broke up 6 month ago when he almost cheated, we got back together but something seemed different we had a brief time of not talking (30) days then had a big fight over the Christmas holiday. It was the first time in 9 years we did not spend Christmas or New years together we did not even send a text. It has been 30 days almost since we spoke he wont respond to my text answer my calls I have only text him twice once to tell him I understand the breakup then like a crazy woman I text him tonight to say have a good night again no response. I know it makes me look unstable to say I understand the break then to tell him a week later have a good night, however; I am having the hardest time accepting the relationship is over he is my best friend. I want him back.

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    It’s more important for you right now to identify what went wrong in the relationship. Work through the problems so you have a better chance of getting him back.

    Reply
Stephanie - 11 months ago

Wow super amazed by this because its so true. My ex broke up with me about a month ago no big reason. i was so good to him. I decided to deactivate my fb I figured hey why should he know what I’m up to. Lately hes been asking my sister about me as to how im doing and recently he told her to tell me to call him. Of course I didnt but I did reply the next day with a short casual response but after that I didnt get a response back. Im really confused as to what I should do. Am I doing things wrong ? I dont wanna puch him away.

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    You shouldn’t have sent him a text message right after he asked your sister to have you call him. This just assures him that you’re still around. Why can’t he just contact you? You see, it’s a bit of an “ego” thing for men. He said something, and you did it. Just focus on yourself and enjoy being single. Be confident, have fun, and you’ll pull him in once he realizes what he’s missing out.

    Reply
Helen - 11 months ago

Hi my partner left me almost a week ago just having buried my mother. I am grieving so badly at the loss of tow people I loved so much. He has left me countless times and it has always been me begging him to try again. We really do love each other but he can’t let go of the past for many reason. He is emailing me replying to my emails but full of anger and bitterness,
I am devastated to say the least trying to cope with the loss of my mother. Any advice would be most appreciated

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I think at this moment, you need to be around supportive people. Don’t beg him to give you another chance. This will make him feel more superior and in control. Send him a text message thanking him for being there for you (or a better reason) and let him know you need some space to get back on your feet. Stop all contact with him after the message and focus on yourself. You need this time for yourself to become stronger. If he really cares, he’ll find a way to forgive and be supportive.

    Reply
      Helen - 7 months ago

      Hi I’m here again!! My ex and I have been off and on for weeks now. But 3 weeks ago he ended it again but this time he is adamant it’s for good. We have seen each other twice recently and slept together the other night but he still says it’s over and seems to be moving on fast. We love each other but I think too much has happened. I am trying so hard for no contact which I have never done before and I need to change for myself. A lot of what has happened is my fault. Will he miss me and realise or do you think this time it’s for real
      Thanks Helen

      Reply
        Charice - 7 months ago

        Stand your ground Helen. This on-and-off relationship is not going to go anywhere especially when you’re giving him what he wants when he wants. You should want the relationship on your terms and at your control too. If it’s easy for him to get you back, where’s the fun and challenge for him? You have to set yourself at a level where your ex will move the world to get you back. Use the No Contact period to focus on yourself and regain your self worth.

        Reply
Naledi - 9 months ago

Hey. My question is after all this work, what if he actually doesn’t come back?my ex and I broke up n a very sudden way,it turned out After months and months of a happy loving relationship it turns out I was his side chick and he had a main chick who is now apparently pregnant.so when she found out he had been seing me he dumped me she like last weeks trash.all this happened almost a month ago. On my vacation I decided I can be happy with out him and im going to be a better woman,better tyan ever im going to become a woman of high value and im doing just that. But the truth is deep inside my heart still longs for him. And I really dont want to believehe really used me asmuch as I fell used, What if he never comes back?

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    I’m happy for you that you’ve got the right mindset to become a better woman with higher values. I would focus on this and learn how to unleash your feminine side to boost your confidence. I wouldn’t worry about your ex. In fact, I would recommend you to move on and find another man. The biggest reason being that his “main chick” is pregnant. Don’t get into this triangle. You are better than that and I can guarantee that you’ll find someone better.

    Reply
tia pham - 9 months ago

Hi,my boyfriend broked up with me after being together for 4 years and he told me he’s not in love. He jas always treated so well so this is all a surprise for me and so shocking. What do I do to get him back?

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    Perhaps he’s just not ready to fully commit, or let go of his full freedom. Give him the space he needs and don’t contact him in the meantime. This will give him the opportunity to miss you which will help him decide. For you, just enjoy your life, have fun and he’ll realize what he’s missing out. If he’s not ready to be exclusive, neither should you.

    Reply
    leyla - a few months ago

    Hi Tia. I’m In the same situation right now. Just happened last night .. :(
    Any advice for me?

    Reply
Kendra - 9 months ago

Hello! I have a quick question about a review that you wrote on the Text Your Ex Back program. You have it pretty rave reviews and I am very intrigued, but I have a few issues. My ex was never an avid texter. He usually only replied with there or four words and it drove me crazy. I’m not sure if this program would work with him. Secondly my ex moving back home which is four hours away, so I’m not sure if this would work with long distant relationships.
What do you think? It this program still a good match?

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    The Text Your Ex Back program uses text messaging as a medium for you to communicate with your ex at your own comfort and control. Even if your ex isn’t an avid texter, the advice and strategies will work. The main idea is to help you gently initiate contact and determine whether your ex feels good about a new relationship or not. It’s safer and definitely less pressure than initiating the first contact face to face. If your ex uses Facebook messaging or other IMs, the methods will apply. Keep in mind that one third of the program is to help you process the breakup. So there’s a lot of information other than just texting methods.

    Reply
Christie - 9 months ago

Well I just have a question should I flirt with other guys yet just to make him jealous won’t it send him completely off and never want me back ever again ?

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    No, flirt and date other guys to help you boost your confidence and explore your feminine energy. You deserve the attention of other guys if they are attracted to you. By dating a bit, you’ll also learn more about your qualities and areas men find you attractive. It’s all about practice.

    Your ex getting jealous will just come naturally. There’s no need to intentionally flirt and date to make him jealous. It’ll backfire on you if he finds out you’re doing it to get his attention.

    Reply
zay - 9 months ago

Brilliant article

Is there anyway I can talk to you personally and tell you what happened? I just really need advice right now

Reply
Astrid - 9 months ago

I really need your help.
I’m trying to do all these things but nothing seems to be happening.
He’s in a new relationship now but I’m not sure if its a rebound or not.

X

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    The only thing you should be doing is focusing on yourself. There should not be any contact between you and your ex. Don’t worry about him being in a new relationship. Focus on what you have control of – YOU. The more time you spend on worrying about what’s happening with your ex, the less time you are committing in creating attraction that will bring him back. Learn to let go for now. Trust me, it’ll pull him in more.

    Reply
    Pandora - 8 months ago

    Hi Astrid, don’t worry if he is in a relationship. This doesn’t mean that it will work out. Over 3 years ago, I was madly in love with this guy (so I thought), but he was being a big jerk. To make this long story short, I met another guy on Facebook (by accident) and he rocked my world (to say the least). We are so much alike. He is very funny, witty, educated, worldly…everything that my other boyfriend wasn’t. I then realized that I was falling madly in love with him even though I tried not to. It’s been 3 years now and we are still going strong. I can’t believe I was in a relationship with the other guy. what the hell was I thinking?! What I’m trying to say is, you might find someone better who will knock your socks off. That’s why you need to move on and away from the old BF and start letting other people in. After all, it looks like he’s moved on and got himself another GF.

    Reply
Precious - 8 months ago

omgsh i love this it acauly work!! THANK YOU

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    I’m glad this works for you! I truly believe that getting away for a bit is the best way to deal with a breakup, let alone make him miss you. It lets you completely take your mind off things and gives you both space. You just feel free. It just makes the process a lot easier.

    Reply
Sallyy - 8 months ago

Hi there. I am Sally. My boyfriend and I dated for nine whole months. And on our ninth month anniversary’s next day he says he isn’t into dating anymore.
Now he bitches about me a lot and makes me hate myself like hell. He messages me on Facebook saying that I’m a bitch and a whore and a slut, which I know I am not. But now he is trying to make me really hate myself.
I need help as soon as possible. Though he blocked me on Facebook.
We would be meeting day after tomorrow as me and my friends and done more people are going for a trip. I won’t be comfortable and i don’t know what to do.
I know I really love him. It’s been like two months since our breakup.
I need immediate help. :/

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    Sally, you don’t really need this from him. Send him one last message telling him that you don’t appreciate his hurtful words after 9 months together. Then just ignore him to start the No Contact phase. Even if he contacts you, just tell him you need space. Silence is the best comeback and don’t let his words get to you.

    Reply
[email protected] - 8 months ago

I chucked my boyfriend out after 8 months and totally regret it we was so in love he promised me the world I tried to say missed him the next day he said it’s all been said I’m gonna focus on me and my kids I see him a week later up the road when I was going out he crossed the road to talk to me asked me how I was then I said can we talk first he said no its all been said then I said no it hasn’t so he said ok can I come round tomorrow so I went out texted him next day and he said sorry with kids so I said does this mean you never want to talk to me he said we both need to move on I said yes your right have a happy future he said back at you then I texted sorry for chucking you out like that I was just upset about you not coming home that night I was so stressed I fell in love with you and still love you but I’ll accept you want to move on so I’ll move on
2 weeks ago not heard nothing he used to say if we ever broke up I’d walk of the end of the pier and stuff like that we was getting on well before that I also sent him a big tex before the break up saying we needed space and that I wasn’t happy ect in last tex I told him I was happy but was just upset that he hadn’t been spending special time with me for a while.

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    You’re going back and forth and it’s confusing for both you and him. Every short term contact you have with him will just end the same way, an argument followed by an apology. Don’t do this to yourself. You’re going nowhere with this sort of communication. Just give each other some space to cool off and reflect on your relationship. Right now, everything’s all talk. Respect the no contact and refrain from contacting him. You’ll get more of his attention.

    Reply
tati - 8 months ago

pls pls i need talk to u .im desperate and i need advice so badley,

Reply
Ann - 8 months ago

My boyfriend and I have been togther for a year and a half. He blocked me and then he unblocked me about a week ago. He did message me first saying hey so I replied a little while saying hi. Over the past 2 days, we’ve had a conversation where he wanted to talk to me asking me if I’m meeting new people. However, he kept on calling me buddy and bud. I really want to get back together with him because pir relationship was broken up in such a haste and fast decision that was made by him. You think eventually we will get back together?

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    Sounds like he’s slowly making a move. Let the casual conversations continue but let him initiate most of the time. Also, play a little hard to get. Give him a little taste that you’ve “moved on” in the sense that you have changed and a busy life now. Good luck!

    Reply
Aish - 8 months ago

Hi, me and him both are projectmates and are classmates too. We were very close to each other and sometimes he use to speak like he is in love with me. But never committed. Another girl of our class and common friends too..for no reason always jeoulous of me from starting entered in between us too. Suddenly she started acting nice and kind to me so I too reacted the same and like a fool started sharing my personal life with her even the conversation between me n him. She knew that I love him too n even use to tease me but I never knew she is playing a game behind me. She started conversation with him behind my back I was not even aware of it. Slowly I got to know this from my guy friend itself but still I took it casually without being possessive. I started realizing that she have some wrong intentions n she never liked we both being together but still I was cool because I was sure about him. I never thought of entering in her dirty games. But after somedays I realized my guy friend is avoiding me….n when I asked him the reason…after making all excuses he finally said he is in love with her. To save my self esteem I didn’t show him my emotions and thought of moving on….but again and again she is coming and hurting me by using him which is unbarrabel now…recently she acted to him that she is sad that I’m that different to her compared to others aand these dramas n I have some problem with both of them…n like stupid he was coming and asking me the same that too without telling that she said him that…he was saying that he thinks so….I will have problem with him? who was ready to do anything for his happiness? n the same night she texts me and asked if she have done anything wrong to her…when I acted normally she said if u are not able to tell its ok….now all these r increaing my temper…this was too much. Why both of them played with my emotions…n she is still playing…If he had to dump me finally why did he showed so much love and affection…She thinks by winning him she can show to the world and herself that she is better than me…but what about my emotions….tell me wat should I do now? Don’t tell me to move on and forget all this…because I already tried but she only don’t want me to do that…n I can’t see him sad since I love him but still what he did to me was very wrong…I want him back so please suggest me what to do??

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    Thanks for sharing your story. I can understand and feel your pain. But I must admit that this is quite a complicated situation especially that you and the guy are classmates. What I would do first is get away from all this drama. Nothing good will come out of it. Try to cut all communication with both of them and minimize contact at school. Get new project partners if you have to. Stay out of their lives for now and just move on with yours. By moving on, you will prove to be the bigger and better person. This will radiate confidence and possibly draw the guy back to you after he realizes what he’s lost without you. You mentioned that you are still in love with him. Why do you still love him? For now, do your best to keep your distance.

    Reply
ana - 8 months ago

Pls help me. I have broken up with my boyfriend last month. We were in a relationship for 2 yrs and 1 mo. We had a bad break up and I said some horrible things to him. After a week, I said sorry to him and realized that I want him back. But he said he just wanted to explore other people and that I should just give him time and space, even just for two months. He asked me not to go anywhere and that he’ll miss me.

The whole month after our break up I pleaded/begged/asked him to get back to our relationship. A week has passed after our break up, he is now in a relationship and he chose the ‘new girl’ over me. I asked him why he has done this to me, he said I already broke up with him. And now they are facebook official and posted a lot of pictures of them together. He hides these pictures from me on his facebook, but I can see them using my friend’s account. Why does he do that? I already know that he has a girlfriend, then why hide the pictures from me? He does not text me anymore and completely ignores me.

I just started the ‘No Contact Rule’ this month. I have not contacted him for almost 2 weeks now. But he texted me on the 1st day of NC that he wants his money back. I ignored him because I was hurt. He shows no concern for me anymore and just asks for his money. So, I was angry. Should I reply now? or should I wait for the 30 days to reply and give his money?

And this weekend, they went out of town for a vacation already. They haven’t even been together for a month! They went to this place where we planned to go together and exactly on our monthsary date. Its so fast! Is she just a rebound?

Ever since we broke up, I posted happy pictures of me hanging out with some friends and exploring life by mountain trekking and swimming. I think I am doing a good job pretending to be happy. But to be honest, I am totally hurt and don’t know if I want him back. I miss him and our good old times but his attitude now makes him so immature.

Can you please explain what is going on? I’ve been making excuses for his actions that he is just hurt over the break up, just like me, which is why he moved on so fast and doing these things. Has he totally moved on? How can I fix this?

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    Thanks for sharing your story. I’m glad you are implementing the No Contact Rule. But make sure you cut all contact with him and remove anything that reminds you of him. This includes his money. I would suggest that you repay him back as soon as possible to officially end the relationship.

    If you get a chance to meet him in person to pay the money back, let him know you’re moving on and you appreciate all the things he’s done for you.

    During the NC period, you need to work on things that will make you genuinely happy. Focus on goals you want to achieve and things that will change you to become a better person. If you’re just counting down days, nothing will happen. Even if after 30 days your ex contacts you, you’ll just end up in the same situation as you are now.

    Don’t worry about what he’s doing. He’s going through the same emotions as you are but dealing with it a bit differently. Like you said, his attitude is a bit immature now. There’s no need to get worked up over it. Let the old times be good memories and move on to creating new ones.

    Reply
hindu - 8 months ago

Hello, I really need ur advice please. I had a terrible fight with my boyfriend and he is mad @me. I kept apologizing but he told me he feels nothing 4me now but told me things will be fine only if I take it slow. He says this but never calls or texts me. What do I do? I am so sick and confused. Should I just give up on the relationship as hard as that is?

Reply
    Charice - 8 months ago

    Do as he says, just take it slow. I’m assuming that you ask for his attention a lot. You have to let your ex move forward on his own terms and respect his time and space. Men think different than us women. If he doesn’t text or call, it just means he’s got something else to focus on right now. He’s “emotionally unavailable”. And the last thing you should be doing is asking for more attention.

    Right now, just focus on yourself. Work on some areas where you think he’d appreciate change from you. You have to let your man be him. You don’t have to give up on the relationship. Just let it flow naturally at his pace.

    Reply
hindu - 8 months ago

Thanks charice. Another thing is that he is an a relative of mine. I dnt want things to end on a sour note between us so I want to have an aunt talk to him for me indirectly without he knowing I talked to her. I am also thinking of seeing him in a week to talk to him. Coz I need to explain y I acted the way I did. Do u think I should do that? Is it a good Idea?

Reply
Eileen - 8 months ago

My ex boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago and I’m still dealing with the stress of it. My question is, how am I supposed to implement the no contact rule if we have a child together? My son is currently with his father, my now ex, and it just makes things harder. We have been getting along great and making avid decisions for our son. We even laugh together like we used to. What do I do? How can I get away and still be around for my son?how do I make him miss me, when I have to see him nearly every day for my son?

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    In your case, just keep your contact minimal and only bring up conversations about your son. It’s okay to see him but keep it short like you’re busy with other things. You could take up new interests and hobbies which would hint to your ex you’re moving on with your life. In other cases, you could ask also ask your ex to watch your son on some nights where you go with some friends. By filling up your schedule with events focused around you and your son, your ex will be wondering what you’re up to.

    Reply
Hayley - 8 months ago

Hi, my boyfriend and I were together for 5 months and he drifted away somehow, he was always with his friends and when I confronted him about it he would tell me that he loves me. I wanted to break up becuz it wasn’t working out and he wanted to break up also, so we did. But now I miss him even tho he treated me bad sometimes. These days I find him trying to get my attention at work, but I don’t look at him becuz I kno that’s what he wants me to do. I still love him and I want him bac, what should I do? We broke up on May 6th.

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    You have to let your ex have his days with this friends. Don’t try to control and fight over this issue. It’ll make him less of a man. What you’ll need to do is find a way to emotionally impact him so that he will want to spend more time with you instead. If he’s trying to get your attention, that’s great. Give it a shot when you’re ready for a second chance. In what ways does he treat you bad? Is it somewhat your fault that you could possible change?

    Reply
Carla - 8 months ago

My boyfriend broke it off with me after 3 years on Monday. I found flirty messages between him and his bosses daughter from work about 2 weeks ago while we were on vacation in Paris. He told me he liked the attention she gave him and that it made him feel like a man. He is very insecure and has gained weight and just doesn’t feel good about himself. He said he didnt love her or want to be with her but that he did like her. That’s when I asked him if he wanted to marry me and he said he didn’t know. We have lived together for 2 years and have talked about marriage and even the names of our children. So I was quite shocked to hear this and blamed it on this women. I pressured him to tell me what he wanted. I didn’t think it was fair for him to just string me on if he had no intention to marry me in the future and he agreed. First he wanted a month break to concentrate on himself. He felt he wasn’t growing and is not the man he wants to be yet before he’s ready to settle down. He told me he still wanted to talk and that maybe we could see each other once a week. He said that he still loves me so much and misses me but needs to do this for himself. Then in a day it changed to he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship for the rest of his life and he decided to make the decision to be single because it wasn’t fair to me. What if at the end of the month the answer was he wanted to stay single. Then I was just waiting around with hope and he felt that inside that’s what he wanted. Anyways I begged for him back and cried so much. He said I can come home but I’ll wake up with the same feelings tomorrow. I went home to see my family and I have not spoken to him. I have been hanging out with friends and going out and trying to keep my mind off of him. After 3 days of no contact he asked me when I’d be back in the apartment because he stayed there for the night and wanted to make sure it was clean for when I returned. I answered him calmly and he replied with thanks for letting me know I’ll make sure my stuff isnt everywhere. I don’t know what to do. I thought I was going to marry this man. He is my best friend. I have already made the decision to move out in a month and concentrate on my life. But I miss him so much and wonder if this women is feeding him advice and encouraging his actions with her care free attitude. I have tried to break it off with him in the past because we were having issues in our sex life. He cried so much and wouldn’t let me go so I stayed. I can’t believe it’s so easy for him to turn around and do this to me. Everything has happened so fast. He’s always been so in love with me and such a good boyfriend. I feel like there’s something wrong with me and I have lost someone good forever.

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    You need to see where your ex is coming from with his decision to call it off. Based on your story, he’s right about breaking up. He’s just not ready to make a lifetime commitment. Not because he’s unsure about you, but it looks like he’s concerned about disappointing you and not being able to protect and provide for you.

    He already feels insecure. So how do you think he’s feeling now with all the pressure you’re giving him to move forward with the relationship? I’m sure it’s making him more insecure, less confident about his abilities to care for you.

    When a man wants to commit to a relationship, he needs to make sure he is in the right place.

    Lean back, and let your man be a man. Trust in his leadership and respect his decisions.

    Reply
CharlotteY - 8 months ago

Hi Charice,
Thanks for sharing your breakup story. This is mine: My ex was the best bf any girl could ever dream of having — he always put my happiness above his and was always thinking of ways to make me feel loved and safe. We were so in love. We prayed together we went to church together we had so much fun together. We were together for three months and during the third month I started becoming very demanding and needy. I would sulk and complain about the littlest things every time we went out. I abused and took advantage of his patience because I was so afraid of losing him. In the end as much as he loved me, he couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with me. He said he felt I needed him or a “bf” for validation (which is true) and he felt a weight of pressure that he couldn’t shoulder. He said he has a “strong conviction that we need some time apart” and that he wants “time on his own.” I have remained in no contact since. I didn’t beg or cling when he broke up with me. I just vanished from his life without saying a word. Although it’s only been five days and I’m still devastated, I have no intention of breaking no contact. I guess what I wanted to ask is that, given the way I acted during the last month of our relationship, what are the chances of him coming back and wanting to get back together? Thanks!

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    One of the most important aspects during No Contact is acknowledging your faults that caused your relationship to end. Seems like you’ve already identified the areas where you’ve caused the breakup. I’d would suggest to focus on these issues and try to work on these areas. Improve on these, prove to him that you’ve grown to be more mature and your chances to get back will increase.

    Don’t focus on counting down the days. Focus on yourself. The key is to improve on your confidence and desirability. If you are confident, then you wouldn’t be demanding or needy.

    Reply
Sheryl - 7 months ago

Me and my ex have been over for two months, it’s all my own doing for pushing him away, it all start in March when a so called friend decided to tell people why we agreed on a termination she had no right involving my ex’s best friend and his gf, who she was best friends with, I defend myself by having a go at her for tell my personal information to others. Every weekend me and my ex would have a mini agurrment when he had his kids and his ex did like me just jealous because I drive a nice car and she can’t. I pushed him away with my hormones threating to break up and we did get back together because he begged for me back and not to do this to him because he loves me, I’m 36 and he is 27, age doesn’t bother me, so end of March we both put up a Facebook status and my so called friend yet again asked me what is going in I told her nothing don’t worry about it, and on the Sunday she was asking her best friend what’s going on she didn’t know nothing, when my ex found out he told me she was asking questions again, I text her the following day having a go who does she think she is involving others about me and my ex, u found out last year she tried kissing him and my ex pushed the fat cow away, but she was telling people he kissed her. Lol basically I’m casing drama I’m not. We kept on having arguments about it, to the point we broke up and I went to see his ex and let he know because of the kids they loved me big mistake I now no. She told him and the next day when he collected kids he told her he was having nothing to do with me, but telling me different story, she has threaten him with the kids if I’m back in his life again. Over the last couple of weeks I have begged for chances to prove I’m the same girl he fell in love with, we all went beach had a lovely day, he has blanked my texts i have done the same he texts me I ignore for three days and text back, now I he text say he wanted more fun days together but I’m not allowed to see kids, he wants to to fall in to love again with the girl he met and his mind will change, but I had to stop with the texts and I couldn’t now texts have stopped he don’t want me and we will never see each other again, he was keeping me in his life texting me to go to his brothers house or take dog for walk now nothing in two weeks just nasty texts. I love him with all my heart and my head feels the same I can’t even walk away. I know I need to and need help I’m doing my best. But I know I have pushed him to far after his horrible relationship with his ex he says I’m the same as her and I’m not, his brothers have said was keeping me around in his life but wouldn’t come and see me like he promised me.
What do I do completely walk away or not. I’m not the sort of person to flirt with other guys to make him jealous nothing i removed him from Facebook then re added now he has deleted me and i have blocked him. Help please

Reply
    Sheryl - 7 months ago

    He also said he doesn’t want the responsibility of a relationship that was when we first broke up, also telling me he wants to be friends but I couldn’t go from having a relationship to friendship when I still have strong feelings for him.
    He know I love him to bits, is he just playing games with me, because he is the master at manipulating people. He says he cares about me, we ended up kissing passionately in May he was telling me then he still has feelings for me but he doesn’t now. He is away in holiday I wished him a happy holiday with a kiss at end and he replied thanks with kiss at end and he hasn’t done that in ages, then I get F off leave me alone because he is with his best mate. I never know where I really stand with him mixed signals all the time.
    He use to call me every morning after he finished work until I got to work and speak again after I finished work until I seen him at my house. It’s so hard to let go

    Reply
Chiamaka - 7 months ago

My boyfriend broke up with me on April 25th giving me finance as a reason that he don’t wanna tie me down that he will miss me .after begging and crying,he told me that even if I beg from now till nextyear that nothing will change that I should allow him to be and plan his life,that I shouldn’t tell anybody we are no more together.after two weeks of the break up,I sent him a message that unless am dead that is when I will allow him marry another lady after aborting My children,he went and deleted me in all his social networks.he told me to move that he has moved on.since then we have not talk only for him to call me on june 7th to tell me that he has collected the cloth I paid our designer to design for him before he broke up with me,we talked and laughed for 9minutes but we have not talked since then.one of our friends met him and asked him why did he brokeup with me,he told the girl that he don’t want to tie me down in the name of loving me,that I didn’t do anything to him ooo,that he has never met my type of woman,that I have been the best girl he has ever met in his life,that I understand him very well but he don’t want to continue wasting my time unless things change financially,then he has no other choice than to come back to me,that if its God’s will that we wil stil come back together,that he told me not to let anyone know we have broken up but some people are already and he Don’t. Like it.though my friends are telling me to forget about him and move with my life and I get another man but I don’t think any man will make me feel the way he does.please wat can I do to get him back?though I have not contacted him since this month.is there a chance I will get him back?

Reply
CharY - 7 months ago

Ok, so my ex was the best bf any girl could ever dream of having. He always put my happiness above his and was always thinking of ways to make me feel loved and safe. We were so in love (or so I was told?). We prayed together we went to church together we had so much fun together. We were together for three months and during the third month I started becoming very demanding and needy, I would sulk and get upset about the littlest things every time we went out. I abused and took advantage of his patience and wanted to see how much he could put up with. And because I was so afraid of losing him I would just hold on tighter. In the end as much as he adored me, he just decided he couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with me in an email. He said he felt I needed him or a “bf” for validation (which is true) and he “felt a weight of pressure that he couldn’t shoulder.” I didn’t reply to that email (what could I possibly say?) and have remained in no contact since. I didn’t beg or cling. I just vanished from his life without saying a word. Today is the seventh day since our breakup and no contact and last night he emailed, after six days of no contact, saying he hadn’t heard from me and wondered if I were ok. Should I reply? Or would it undo all the hard work I’ve put into remaining in no contact? And I guess what I wanted to ask is, given the way I acted during the last month of our relationship, what are the chances of him coming back (given I’ve taken the time to work on my insecurities and get over the resentment of being abandoned)?

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    What’s most important here is that you’ve identified the problems from your side of the relationship. It’s a huge step to acknowledging it and working to fix it. I’m sure that once you’ve changed yourself to become a better person, the chances of getting back with your ex is higher. If he contacts you, just let him know that you need the space right now to work on these issues by yourself (and for yourself). Apologize and thank him for the love and support he’s given to you during your times together.

    Reply
Heather - 7 months ago

I have a unique situation and I was wondering if I should still go through with this program.. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost a year and lately we’ve been arguing and he threatened to break up with me. Although we didn’t, things aren’t the same and I’m not sure if I can trust him. He confessed that he would talk to a friend of his sisters that is always at his house and he even went swimming with her without telling me! He says he does this because he just gets mad, but I’m confused with our trust anymore because she is ALWAYS at his house and she is clearly interested in him. I have tried bringing up old memories, appreciating him, and even asking little questions about things we’ve only shared via text but he seems aggravated. He takes days to text back and it has me worrying whether he talking with his sisters friend or not. I am at a loss because he threatened to talk to her if we broke up and we basically aren’t together now. What should I do? He still texts me, but it’s not the eager way he used to and whenever I bring up a memory he just says awh. Should I take longer to reply to his texts and act as if everything is fine? Don’t forget we are still ‘dating’!

Thanks a lot!

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    The one who cares less about the relationship will have the most power in it. It seems like your boyfriend has all the power in the relationship right now if he can threaten you to end the relationship. Don’t let this happen and don’t be insecure about him talking to his sister’s friend. If your boyfriend is not being exclusive to you, then you have every right to be seeing other guys. This is not to make him jealous but to allow yourself to explore other options and see what’s best for you. If he doesn’t respect you, then he doesn’t deserve you.

    Reply
Jen - 7 months ago

My boyfriend broke up with me after we had a few arguments over the same topic. I found out he was flirting with some girl via text when we first started dating one time and it never happened again. Ever since then I’ve been so insecure every time he would get a text. We would get into little arguments over it that would then blow up. I feel so bad for pushing my insecurities out on him. I was the one he was with. I was the one who he loved. After an argument over the same thing he broke up with me. Saying it is done. That he loves me but it’s unhealthy to be aruging like this. That everytime we fight it hurts him and he doesn’t have any more chances to give. I asked if we were done forever and he said he doesn’t know what will happen down the road and that he needs space. I feel terrible to have hurt him but my heart is breaking and I don’t know what to do from here? I want another chance… how do I get one?

Also his father passed away in March. I was there holding his hand when we found out at the hospital. I was there holding his hand at the funeral. I went to every family wedding with him and did whatever I could to be there for him. Father’s Day is coming up and I’m not sure what I should do if anything?

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    You are on the right track to admit to your own faults. Right now, your only goal is to fix this issue and work on yourself. If you can’t get past the insecurity, you will have a hard time trusting your partner in your future relationships.

    On Father’s Day, send him a short text to show your support. Nothing more. Wait a few more days and send him another one to apologize and thank him for his love and support. Let him know you’re wrong about your behaviors and you are committed to making the change.

    Reply
      Jen - 7 months ago

      Will he come back if I give him space?

      Reply
        Charice - 7 months ago

        Giving each other space lets you clear your head and see the bigger picture. It prevents you two from making irrational and emotional decisions that will drive each other crazy. During this period of no contact, the main objective is to ask yourself what you really want in life and in a relationship and what you’re willing to change to get it.

        Reply
Michelle - 7 months ago

My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost two months ago. It was over the smallest thing but over the course of our year and a half relationship we were off and on and we argued a lot because of his poor communication skills. During the argument he said some pretty hurtful things (he hated me, stopped loving me a long time ago, we’ll never be back together, etc.) He also lied to his parents about me saying that I broke it off with him and some other things which weren’t true. Just days before the argument he told me how much he loved me and how much he wanted to marry me. We were so in love with each other and he was my bestfriend. We haven’t talked since the break up and I miss him more than ever and I am beginning to think he meant what he said and that he has someone else. I really want him back because life just isn’t the same. We did absolutely everything together. I just don’t know what to do. We have never went this long without talking to each other. Do you think we have a chance at getting back together?

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    First you need to identify the issues you had with your ex. What is the real reason you two broke up and the reasons that you guys fought about. Then identify what areas are your fault and commit to changing yourself for the better. You’ll have a better chance of getting back together if you have made big steps of improvement before reaching out to your ex. You want him to see you as a different and better person rather then someone who he’ll be stuck with fighting all the time.

    Reply
      Michelle - 7 months ago

      How am I suppose to contact him when he told me he wanted nothing to do with me or my family? I have identified my issues which is insecurities but he is not willing to identify his issues and change. I think that’s where we have the most problems because he never admits or realizes when he is wrong. I sent a long “i wish you the best” text and he responded very short which hurt my feelings in a way. I just want him back, i’m not quite sure what to do. His way of fixing things is breaking up for a week and getting back together which isn’t okay but this time is clear that this isn’t like the other break ups. He hasn’t given me closure because he says it’s irrelevant and we had our last talk… (when he broke up with me and said those mean things) so I really don’t know why he broke up with me. Its really been stressing me out. I’m starting to lose hope.

      Reply
        Charice - 7 months ago

        There’s not much you can to do to change him if he’s stubborn about his ways. The only thing you should focus on is yourself which you have total control of. What you want to do is increased your attraction level and get your ex to notice you again. If he is inspired, he’d move the world to change for you. Don’t expect closure or anything from him now. He doesn’t owe you anything. You owe yourself to move on and become a better person.

        Reply
Vivienne - 7 months ago

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me two months ago (we were only together for six months) — for the first month and a half after the break up, I was completely distraught and desperate. During that time, I texted him multiple times a day, usually receiving a brief answer about once a week, if at all. During the breakup, he told me he is breaking up with me because he does not love me. After discovering the no-contact rule, I decided to try it. I’m now two weeks into the rule and planning to keep it up for another two weeks to total to one month. He hasn’t contacted me at all during these two weeks. Do you think it will still work despite contacting him for the first month and a half after our breakup?

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    Congrats on going two weeks strong into the NC phase. Keep in mind that the purpose of the NC rule is to give yourself time and space to define what you really want and focus on yourself to become a better person. Just letting time past by won’t do you any good. You need to identify the problems in your relationship and commit to making the changes so you don’t make the same mistake in your next relationship.

    Reply
CharlotteY - 7 months ago

Thank you Charice for your advice! I posted about my breakup a few posts back. Last night I found out that he has unfriended me on Facebook, but I was still able to view all his posts cos they were all public. Then this afternoon when I looked again he made all his posts and photos private so I could no longer view them unless I’m a friend on FB. I don’t think he’s seeing someone new or trying to get a response from me so I really don’t understand why he did that? The unfriending came about 10 days post-breakup. Can you please shed some light on this situation? I really don’t understand why he had to do that… unfriending, then making his page private. This is driving me crazy :(

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    Glad I can help! Don’t worry about your ex unfriending you on Facebook. He’s probably going through the NC rule himself. In fact, you shouldn’t even be worrying about what he’s up to. It’ll only drive you crazy. I know it’s hard but try to focus your attention on the things you can control – yourself. Don’t let anything else bother you. The more you worry about him, the less you’re spending time making yourself more attractive. Hope this helps.

    Reply
lonely girl - 7 months ago

Hi. really love the advise in your post but I have a really complicated situation that I’m in and would love to talk to you about it. Can you PLEASE help me!?!

Reply
Yuli - 7 months ago

Hi, my situation is different. My ex and i were dating about four years ago and we broke up he left me. I had another boyfriend and got pregnant and had a baby, after the baby was born apparently the guy wasnt ready and we broke up. During the pregnancy my ex contacted me several times and i always rejected him (he knew i was l pregnant and still told me he would raise the child as his own cuz he loved me and wanted me back. That was a year after he left me. We got back together and he always wanted a baby with me ever since the first time we were together. Well, i got pregnant and we decided to have this baby and now i am 22 weeks pregnant And we had been having problems because we started arguing and i guess my pregnancy hormones too. the arguments were both our faults and he says he got tired and left. In the beginning i begged after 3 weeks of no contact from my side he texted me and i started begging for him back. 3 more weeks after that he came back sayinf how much he loved me and that he wanted to stay with me forever because he couldnt live without me everything was going perfect( better than ever) because i realized that i do love him and i wouldnt even argue about anything. Then he called me one morning 3 days after we were together again and gave me an ultimatum that i either accepted a job he got ( which i told him i wouldnt accept when we got back together) or it was over. I didnt even respond because of how rude he told me. I was in shock. Its been 5 days of this and i never texted or called him again. He has not either. Do you think he will come back? Is there any chance of us getting back together? What should i do?

Reply
Yuli - 7 months ago

Hi, i am the last person who commented… When he came back those three days he contacted m because somone told him i might me going out with somone ( which i wasn’t) and he texted me telling me how could i do that to him and that he was heart broken and that is when he came back and we got back togeter until the job problem. So this is why i think there could still be a chance he still loves me.
I also have a question; there is a lady at my job that knows him and her husband talks to my ex every now and then… Should i use her to tell her things so she can tell him so he can get jealous or at least worry about loosing me? I initiated the NC the same day he gave me the ultimatum so i havnt texted him at all. Its been hard but i will be strong and follow anythig you say here. Please help. I want him back. Sorry this is so long .

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    It’s hard to give a guy an ultimatum when he’s got other priorities in mind. In this case, his job that’s on the line. You need to lean back and have trust that this man will take care of you. If he doesn’t have a job, how will he be able to provide?

    Reply
Anonymous - 7 months ago

Hello Charice,
I am kinda obsessing over my boyfriend breaking up with me. We have been together for 3.5 years. First yr, i broke up so many times thinking it may not work because coming from strict culture and family. Once I decided that I am commited to him, and will not back down and stay. i stuck to my word. My broke up with me last year, saying he doesnt think it may work, he needed space. I was still his friend, and was staying positive around him and he came back.

This time, I admit I have been clingy towards him, alot of stuff happening wiht my family. But we had a wonderful bond, we connect and love amazing. But lately, we have been having it rocky, so many fights etc. and slowly i was depending on him for my emotions etc. So slowly he started to become standoffish alittle. I would ask him whats wrong. he would not communicate and then I would see he is unhappy. I tried everything, crying, being nice, smoothering, yelling, nuturing, caring etc. but one day we would just fight and again and again because he was unable to communicate with me the thoughts in his mind and i would get frustrated asking him why he is being such way and it will fire up.
and now, he told me he wanted space at first, and i gave him few days then he messaged me saying we need more time apart, we dont love the same etc and fights have been draining. He wanted to find whats making him unhappy and stop relying on me to make him feel better. he said he is searching for what makes him happy and he doesnt know if in the end, his happiness will be with me or not. but at same time he was pointing all the stuff I do wrong like where I come from, how I sleep early, not spend friday night etc. he said he wanted to stay friends. if he finds him what makes him happy, and it has nothing to do with me, he will come back otherwise no. I was willing to give him space yet I asked to see if he wanted to set our relationship aside and stay commited. but he said he didnt want to commit and he wants to do this on his own and priortize. I told him i dont wana stay friends and he said okay..I miss him alot, i havent talked to him for 2 days..he deleted my pictures from Instagram..i look at my phone every hour. its so unhealthy…he said he loves and me cares about me..but he has to priotize himself and figure himself out and dont know if being with me will make him happy. =/

I tried everything, his friends say i was sucha good positive influence on him..I dont know if hes ever going to come back around like last time =/ Im trying no contact rule, and post picture of having dinner here and there so he’s seeing im okay without him..I just want him to come to me. i want him to miss me and see how much our relationship bloomed his life. hes being so selfish =/

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    You guys have broken up too many times that I think it’s a good idea to give each other some time and space to reflect. Your ex clearly has some things to figure out on his own, so let him be. It’s unhealthy for you two to keep going like this. So take some time off for yourself to see what you really want. He has the right to be selfish because he wants to be 100% sure that he can be there for you if you guys get back together.

    Reply
Anonymous - 7 months ago

Hello my ex and I dated 2 yrs &lived together started arguing more till finally he said he can’t do this anymore we’re not happy. He’s sending me mixed signals. Sends me pictures of us then he says we just need time apart right now that things won’t change over night. And he needs time ti himself. We have been broken up almost 2 months now. He says just do me that he doesn’t wanna string me along. How can he say all that then when we’re together it’sso good and chemistry Is still there my emotions are all over the place. What should I do

Reply
    Charice - 7 months ago

    Give your ex the time and space he wants. He’s probably emotionally unavailable and wants to work out his priorities. Don’t get caught up with all the mixed signals. He’s just being a guy and focusing on what’s important for him now. You should do the same for yourself.

    Reply
Cindy - 6 months ago

Hi Charice,I need your help here!Me and my ex bf dated for a couple of weeks and I broke up with him a few weeks ago because I was having some personal problems at the moment,and I had to break up with him when I was still liking him.He told me he needed time to think about what just happened sounding all sad,but later 4 days after we broke up I found out that he started dating again putting his dating date on his profile name on his social media.1 week after he started dating he texted me asking me some weird questions like if he was trying to grab my attention,but that same day I noticed that probably the new relationship he started had ended due to the change in his profile name.But again he’s been acting all weird putting some “I love you”quotes on his profile.Please help me get him back!Cause I’m 100% sure I’m ready to have a relationship with no personal problems!Sorry If I wrote too much.

Reply
    Charice - 6 months ago

    If your ex needs time to think about things, just let him be. You have to show him that you’ve changed rather than telling him you’re a new person.

    Reply
aya - 6 months ago

I miss my ex so bad ..ilove him but i donr know ..before he went to ail . 1 month.ago we fight too bad been broken up like 1 month before he went to jail i begged abd cry but nothing happened. He clearly want to be friends we hug and kiss but not same as before. He went out from.jail and txted me .. that hes out but he said i dont think you understand how wrong you are accusing me i wont lst youtreatme or i wont let u in my life again . He stills blame me. Now its 1 week i dont call or text either. But i do love him

Reply
aya - 6 months ago

I was depressed i want him but i dont want to sound desperate. My relationship with him is the best rel ever i had . Im scared what if he never call me no.more … he said im.glad yove moved on and happy your successful from.our ashes

Reply
    Charice - 6 months ago

    Don’t be scared. Your insecurities and desperation will make him pull away more. You need to build on yourself and find that confidence you once had. Your happiness and future is not dependent of your ex but is something you own that you want to share with someone.

    Reply
Loreal - a few months ago

I started dating a male colleague for more than 6months now,literally he begged and wooed me constantly before I gave in because I don’t do office romance and I hardly fall in love but somehow this dude broke those boundaries I set,I loved him ,he told me he broke up with his gurl cos she is uncontrollable and he does not have feelings for her again ,I told him to go sort tinx out w her,he sed it was ova,so he wants me,I agreed to date him,our sex life was the bomb,we had this connection,we talk on fone always,chat 247,most tyms he initiates contact,we cud stay 2geda talk for hrs w/o gettn bored 4months lerra,buh my intuition was teln me he s dating someone else,probably d so called girl e sed s an ex cos I saw some red flags,then I noticed in lyk out of 7days n a wk,mayb in a certain day he may stay long hrs w/o contact only for him to contact lerra n start beggn dt e was busy w errand,oda biz ,etc,buh my instincts didn’t buy day,e swore I was d only one e was seeing,e cals regularly,text n promise me he won’t let busy schedules mk m nt to care,we had so many fights as partners ,i made it clear to him dt i cant accept a guy dt cheats on me back,e sed e wont dt e values d relatnship and dont wanna lose me dats y e kips comin bk after i dump him n snub him even hurl words at him so he cud Go I av dumpd him many tyms n told him I can b fyn without him cos I won’t accept 1/2 treatment, I nid to feel he respects nt a booty call tin,he always com beggin, I ignore him,start no contact he cud nt tk doze silent treatment, so e coms bk again begging,last 2wks I tuk him bk after so many reassurance,one 9t e didn’t cal b4 sleepn as we used to talk bfor slipn,I cald ,s line was unavailable, buh d oda line was available buh I kept gerrin response “busy”,d nxt morn,I cald no response,I chattd n txted,no response,apparently ,I am nt d clingy type or d stalker kinda diva,e mks most of d contact, so I went to his crib dt early morn only for me to c anoda chick ,meanin d chick don’t d nyt,I acted chic,I sed Hi 2 d chick,my guy was stunned to c me ,e was stuttering at d door,sayn buh I can’t go n someone s insyd,I sed who?and brushd him asyd n got n ,he nw sed luk at hw I barged into his crib n pushd m away ,I told him I went out on an errand so decided to chk on him since e sed e was sick and don’t I av any ryt to com to his crib,so e sed nurin n sed I shud sit ,so I told him won’t e introduce d gurl to me,he introduced us just with our names,so I chippd in,s she ur sista ,e ignored d question n sed ,I shud relax since am hia nw,I askd who s she. E cud nt talk (,liter ally d gurl n him share d same language n relatnship,but we al are from d same country. )so d gurl startd spkn dia native language to him wen e refusd to ansa d questn I askd him )so finally e sed. K she s my gurl,I chuckled ur girl?so who am I to u e sed,u are m gurl,and I giggled o am ur gurl 2 ,so dd startd talkn to him again,so she told me don’t mind him,am nt jus his gurl am his fiancee,I sed wow,she sed de are gettn married ,i askd her wen and she sed she does nt kno,dt i shud ask him and she startd spkn dia dialect to him because he does nt want to introduce her properly,so she told him in English so am ur gurl,nt ur fiancee, d guy nw sed ok u are my fiancee,so i told dgurl evrytn about me n d guy,dat we dating nt jus avn sex ,d guy cud nt deny it n my presence,he didnt dsrespect in front of her or shut me up or evn try to throw me out lyk some guys wud,he jus stayd mute n shame n confusion,d gurl nw startd scolding him n dia dialect whch i dont understand,so de were arguing,d gurl nw interpreted it and told me d guy sed he does not have any tin to do wt me dt she is important to him,so i lukd him n d face lyk can u spk english n tel me u we ad no relatnshp togeda,e went dumb,i am sure e didnt kno d oda woman wil interprete wat de sed and d gurl told me didn’t he tel me he has a woman,I sed no,dt he sed he broke up with d woman cos she s difficult,d lady startd teln me he has no regards for her ,if nt he won’t cheat on her repeatedly dt de v bn togeda sinc yrs,dt she s stil wt him afta d bullshitn dsrespct cos she does nt kno if d nxt guy she decides to date wil b beta,so she decided to kip praying he changes,she sed she has heard about me ,she knos about me n his neighbours av cald her b4 d day I came to c him,she sed d guy as little regards for her dt wen de are 2geda al e does s to b busy wt his fone chattn evn late at nyt (I can recap dt wen I am wt ds guy e pays less attntn to his fone,e focuses on jus me )so I felt for her n told her I Neva knew e as a woman ,if nt I won’t date a man who s attached to anoda gurl,I told her I av Neva seen her face or evn her dp on his social apps.I slapped him n held his shirt ,e was begging me,den e told us to sit down e wants us al to talk,e sed e s apologising to two of us and e knos he as wronged us ,it triggered anger in d oda woman,she also slappd him and de were arguing n dia dialect,I was nw d one beggn DM nt to create a scene n she told me b4 de fight evn wit knife,dt e kips cheatn n dsrespct her dt e does nt luv her,so d gurl wantd to leave d rum for us,I stopd her to stay dt dia s no nid for any discussion with the guy if she is not dia.bcos am thru wt him,I pikd my bag to leave n d guy sed e wants to c me off,I told him nt to follow no way dt d gurl must follow us if e wants to escort me,d gurl refused.I warned the guy Neva to contact me ,that he cud e b a cheat ,so many lies e as dished to me and d other lady,I told him I will hit him if e tries to communicate wt me in our office,we work together so we c regularly and all he does is to keep staring at me ,but I don’t give him any friendly face ,I just act like he is invincible,after I left his crib that day,i blockd him on my social network on my way om, s a week today ,e as nt cald,texted.Is e scared or ashamed to stand me,was e using me all along?I won’t take him back anyway,jus curious tho?

Reply
katlyne - last month

Hi! Me and my boyfriend were together for 8 months but we secretly liked each other for 4 years. We broke up 7 months ago and we ended things because he said he didn’t feel the “spark” anymore. A week after the break up I asked him if there was any way that we could try to fix things and he said no. It’s been 7 months and I got myself together I lost weight, reached some of my goals and became a stronger confident version of myself. I had completely tried to forget about him because during this time while I was trying to be friendly around him at school because we are partners for sertain clubs he was completely cold and hateful when it came to me. Anyways I thought I moved on but lately I heard that he was regretting his decision to end things and he wishes that he would’ve accepted to trying to work on our relationship. He has feelings for me still but he doesn’t want to. He said he wanted to move on but he still cared about me and had feelings for me. He decided to talk to me and to try to be friendly and I’m usually friendly to anyone and everyone so things were good and then a week later he got a girlfriend. what’s going on? Why cant he just try and give us another chance when he himself said he wished he would’ve fixed things and had us together again? Why did he all of a sudden hop on this girl? Is this new girlfriend a rebound? How can I help get us back together? I was thinking about going through no contact unless necessary and then become his friend again when things get rough for him. What would u recomend? (I’ll say this now I have no intentions on interfering with their relationship.)

Reply
    Charice - last month

    It seems like you are waiting and hoping for “things” to happen. You know all this information about how he feels (towards you) and what he’s up to. If he knows that you’re slightly interested, he may not approach you to get back together. Truth is, it’s too easy for him that he feels he can come and go whenever he wants with your feelings. Remember, you two secretly liked each other for 4 years before being together. There was a challenge there. Now, that “spark” is gone. What you need to do is show him that you’ve moved on. If he feels like he’s losing you, then he might “try” to ask you for a second chance in which you’ll be ready to accept.

    Reply
Kelly - last month

My ex disappeared on me. Did not end it or anything, just stopped contacting me after he went back home (long distance relationship). It took everything in me not to call or text him. I prayed that he made it home safely but knew deep down that he was blowing me off. I didn’t know what to make of it. He was my best friend. I cried for months but moved on in life.

I met someone else after I healed and forgot about him. 2 years later, he contacted me. I politely responded and he started up a texting conversation. Eventually he told me that he wished he never let me go, he made a mistake. Told him it was too late, I’d moved on. He pleaded. I told him that when he abandoned me he just proved to me that I could live without him.

It felt sooo good to be over him. To this day, he texts me on every holiday and my bday all the time. I will never go back to him again. The feelings are gone, I’ve learned that there is better.

But it’s very true, absence makes their hearts grow fonder. Move on, live your life, and let them deal with their decision. If they’re lucky, you’ll want to deal with them again when they return.

Reply
Sarah - 3 weeks ago

Me and my boyfriend been dating for 10 months . Just yesterday and all last week we have been arguing and fighting, he told me he wasn’t over his ex they dated since teenagers and been together for 6 years but she kept cheating on him so he broke up and he still have feelings for her and still loves her including still have pictures of her in a envelope. So I left and told him you shouldn’t still love someone that cheated on you throughout the whole relationship and doesn’t love you back and moved on with her life. He left to his brothers house after I told him I was moving out. His mom kept telling me just give him time let him miss you I know my son I know he still loves you. Then minutes later he text his mom and said he wish he could of see me leave and say goodbye, why didn’t he do that before he left to his brothers house im so confused and hurt I wish I can help him move on from his ex and show him how much I love him I cry every day

Reply
Barbie - a couple of weeks ago

I have been dating this guy for almost a year. We started having problems and he decided to break up with me. According to him , he needed some alone time and wasn’t ready to commit to the relationship. I cried my heart out and decided to try the no contact rule. he texted me but I didn’t reply he called too but I didn’t answer. I haven’t heard from him since that day and it looks like he has deleted my number on his phone because I can’t see him on whatsapp. It’s been two months and still haven’t heard from him. I still love him despite everything and want him back. Please help

Reply
    Charice - a couple of weeks ago

    Your ex is right when he said he needs some alone time and wasn’t ready to commit. You should respect that. Try to understand what his current priorities are and be supportive. But do this only when you’re “ready” to start a new relationship with him. What did you do during your No Contact phase?

    Reply

Leave a Reply: