Let’s face it, relationships are hard. They just are. And sometimes even when a couple has everything going for them, things can fall apart. Which is probably what happened to you and your old flame. It’s also probably why you are now asking yourself (and me) how to make your ex boyfriend miss you.
Because obviously that is the ultimate goal, right? You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want the former man in your life back, and in a perfect world – making your ex miss you badly would be the ideal. After all, if he misses you and makes the first moves towards reconciliation, the ball is in your court. You get to call the shots and revel in his adoration for a while.
And don’t you deserve that?
So that is what I am going to teach you, how to make him miss you and want you back. As it should be – with lots of apologies and flowers if we do our job right! It is an endeavor that starts with reminding him of what he has lost though. Never forget what a catch you are. Your ex boyfriend was lucky to have you before and he will be lucky to have you again.
You just have to hold your head high and remind him of that fact.
And once you’re ready to make him miss you, it takes one simple text message to get his heart racing.
Get Out of Dodge
Now, I know what you are thinking. As you nod your head in agreement with the goal, you are still wondering, “But how do I make my ex miss me?” Look, you and I both know it’s not as simple as snapping your fingers and making it happen. If it were, you would have already done that. But figuring out how to make your ex miss you is possible. And the good news is, it starts with a vacation.
That’s right. You now have the perfect excuse to get out of dodge. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and a little distance between you and your ex boyfriend right now is exactly what the doctor ordered. If you want to get your former flame to miss you, you need to pack a bag and peace out.
Book a ticket somewhere you have always wanted to go. Cash in your PTO days at work. Plan on getting a new stamp on your passport. Call up some friends and propose a grand adventure. It really doesn’t matter where you go – just that you go. And that you post lots of photos online and brag to friends about what a great time you are having. Before you know it, the seeds will have been planted to make your ex miss you like crazy. And you will have been having a blast in the process.
Here’s what happens when you leave town after a breakup: word gets back to your ex boyfriend, who assumes you are just jumping right into moving on. That ignites a touch of regret in him, as your former flame wonders whether he may have made a mistake in letting you go.
Which, for the record, he totally did.
The best part is that he now realizes you aren’t just waiting at home for him. He can’t call you up for a late night drunken bootie call, or decide he has changed his mind and beg to see you tomorrow. You are gone, and with that distance he realizes that you are currently out of reach. It doesn’t matter that it isn’t permanent; this gives him a taste of what it would be like if that separation were final.
And trust me, he won’t like it.
I’ve seen this one in action first hand. Years ago, when I split from my ex, I decided I deserved a vacation. I did it mostly for me, needing a bit of spiritual cleansing from the chaos that had been our ending. So I booked a ticket to Thailand and took off halfway across the world all on my own. I was already gone by the time he heard about my adventure, one we had always talked about taking together. Let’s just say that when I got home… there were a lot of frantic calls and texts waiting for me.
He was already dying for a way back into my life.
The bonus is that this now puts him out of reach for you as well. That distance reduces the chance of you breaking the no contact rule during a moment of weakness. I couldn’t just pick up the phone and call my ex while traipsing around Thailand, and that was a good thing. Taking off on an adventure also helps to distract you from your own breakup grief. It gives you a chance to stop worrying about how to get your ex boyfriend to miss you.
Because ironically, the best way to make him miss you, is to make him believe you have stopped missing him.
Boys are funny like that, fragile little egos in even the most burly of men.
So book a trip and get out of dodge. Have fun, live your life and forget about him for a little while. Let him miss you. You deserve a guy who knows what you are worth.
And every girl deserves an amazing vacation every now and again!
Take Your Heart Off Your Sleeve
A lot of women have the bad habit of wearing their hearts on their sleeves. To some extent, we can’t help it. We love with full and adoring hearts, and often – that is what endears men to us in the first place. But in the midst of a breakup, when you are looking for ways to make him miss you, that vulnerability needs to be kept in check.
Let him be the vulnerable one for a little while.
Your internal thought process right now may be a steady stream of questions:
“Does my ex boyfriend miss me?”
“What will make my ex miss me?”
“How do I know if my ex misses me?”
But you want to keep those questions to yourself for now. I know it’s hard. I know that as women, we are wired to communicate. You want to talk through your feelings with everyone you know – analyzing and rehashing the details of your breakup until you feel better. But now is the time to play coy. Because if anyone knows that you are trying to figure out how to get him to want you back, that information will find its way to your ex in no time.
And as we’ve already discussed – you don’t want him to know that you miss him. Not now at least. He needs to think you are moving on, igniting in him the desire to win you back.
So cover that heart of yours up for just a little while and keep your cards close to your chest. You want to be the one in control here. Remember, it is him who should be missing you.
For the record, it is normal for you to spend nights wondering and worrying, wasting countless hours Googling how to make an ex boyfriend want you back. Most women experience a similar state of grief and even single-mindedness at this point, so don’t chastise yourself for that. In fact, get a journal and use that to document this emotional process. Just don’t let anyone else in on what you are currently feeling. Now is the time to put on a happy face and pretend all is well.
Think of it as faking it to make it; pretending you are just fine, until you actually are just fine.
This is as much for his benefit as for yours. You are doing what you need to do to make him miss you like crazy. And in the meantime, you are also helping yourself to build up some of the confidence you may have lost in your breakup. Which is a good thing.
Particularly if it means he will only want you more for it in the end.
Play it Cool
So you have taken your awesome vacation and put on a happy face. You haven’t shown up on his friends doorsteps begging, “Please, just make him miss me!” or pounded down his door and sobbed for another chance. You have held your head high and pretended like an Oscar winning actress.
The kind who doesn’t wind up in the tabloids, of course.
The point is, you have worked hard. And if you just hold tight a little longer, you will get to see the fruits of your labor.
It is right around this stage that a lot of women start to get nervous. They haven’t heard from their old flames yet, and they start to fear that they never will. But just as you are reaching a point of desperation, he is reaching the height of missing you. I have seen it happen time and time again. Breakups are basically a play for power, and if you can stick to the act just a bit longer… the power will be in your hands.
So stop. Stop staring at your phone and checking your text messages 100 times a day. Leave the damn thing at home if you need to. Obsessing over his lack of communication won’t make him reach out any faster, it will just make you crazy. Get back to your life instead, remaining confident in the fact that he will eventually cave and call.
Because he will. And when he does, you want to play it cool. This is incredibly important. After spending so much time asking yourself “how do I make my ex boyfriend want me back?” your initial instinct upon hearing from him is going to be to leap at the chance to see him. You don’t want to do that though. If you seem too eager, he may decide you are always going to be available.
And if that happens, you lose any groundwork you have put in up until now. Because he will figure he can keep playing the field, coming back to you at any time.
If you want to avoid that, you need to be slow to respond when he does reach out. Don’t answer that text right away. Give it a few days before returning his call. And no matter what, don’t leap at the first chance to see him.
You’re busy. You have plans. There is just so much going on! If you want to know how to get an ex boyfriend to want you back, you have to show that you aren’t just easily going to fall into his lap. He has to work for you.
And that will only make him miss you more!
Keep Things Light
After playing a bit of cat and mouse with your ex, you can finally agree to see him. This is where all of your hard work will finally pay off.
Wear an outfit you know he loves. One that will remind him of good times you used to have together. Smile when you see him, and share a warm and genuine hug. Then, focus on being the girl he fell in love with. Remember that girl? The one who, in the beginning of your relationship, was fun and easy-going? Be her. Leave the heavy stuff for later. Right now, you just want him to enjoy being around you.
And you know what? You want to enjoy being around him too.
The more you can remind him of that girl he used to love, the more your ex will start to fall over again. Relationships are hard, and there will always be hurdles. But learning how to tap back into those beginning stages of falling in love will help you to make things work this next time around.
So keep the relationship talk off the table and just have fun together for a little while. Keep your pants on while you’re at it; the two of you will be easing back into relationship territory before you know it. If you need an extra push, the next step is making him jealous. But for now? Look at this as dating from scratch.
And enjoy it. It’s not every day you get a do-over in falling in love!
And of course, if you really want to make this stick, check out my review of Text Your Ex Back. It’s a proven course that will help you re-establish a new connection with your ex through text messages. You’ll learn the secrets of making him miss you over text and how to get him to initiate your first meetup.
Nothing wrong with creating a fresh relationship in the comfort of your home and getting him worked up to go out again!