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What To Text Your Ex Boyfriend To Reignite The Lost Spark

Can you imagine what breakups were like back before cell phones? Back before you would spend days wondering what to text your ex to get him back?

Message in the bottle lying on the beach.I mean, just picture it for a minute. You have this massive blowup with your boyfriend, he storms out and calls it quits, and then you can’t get ahold of your best friend to cry to because she isn’t home and people only have landlines for communication. Not only that, but when you think of a handful things you wish you had said to him in your fight, you can’t just pick up the phone and tell them to him right then – because he probably isn’t home yet himself.

OK, so maybe that part is a good thing.

But then, when you start missing him, what are you supposed to do? You can’t conjure up texts to send your ex to get him back. There is no social media, no cell phones, no easy way to work your way back into his life. You’re just… stranded in your grief and regret.

How did people do it?

The good news is, you don’t have to know. Technology has made it that much easier to reconnect after a breakup, and the right text messages to get your ex boyfriend back do exist.

In fact, the number one “Get Ex Back” program is based on text messaging. Text Your Ex Back is a proven texting blueprint that helps you win the love of your life back with one text message at a time. I’ve written a detailed review of this effective program and how it can help you re-establish a new connection with your ex and create a better relationship.

Click here to read my in-depth review of this love-changing program.

Of course, you will be able to craft the right message and master how to get your ex boyfriend back over text.

And you have the technology to redefine your faith with a push of a button.

 

Radio Silence

That’s right, your cell phone can be a conduit to your reconciliation. Unfortunately, in the beginning at least, it can sometimes do more harm than good. In fact, in those first few weeks after a breakup – trying to figure out what to text your ex boyfriend to get him back should be the last thing on your mind.

Woman sitting on floor staring at cellphone.I know this girl, we’ll call her “Jane” (protecting the not-so-innocent and all of that). Anyway, when Jane and her boyfriend broke up, I was sure she was going to be one of the strong ones. She just had that whole independent, self-assured, woman thing going for her. But instead, she fell apart; texting him all hours of the day, vacillating between begging for another chance and picking fights. Even in the midst of all this chaos, she was obsessively Googling “Text Messages to Make Your Ex Want You Back” and asking everyone she knew what to say next.

Sadly, it didn’t result in reconciliation. But it did result in a restraining order.

Poor Jane.

Look ladies, now is when I need you to acknowledge some irrefutable scientific facts – breakups will eff with your head. They can twist even the most put-together woman all up, turning her into someone she doesn’t recognize. So while your cell phone can be your ultimate salvation in this, it isn’t going to do you any good at first.

In fact, during those initial few weeks, you would actually be better off living back in the cell-phone free era. Back before the question of how to get your ex back over text even existed.

But instead, you live here. Which means you may need to get creative, sometimes even intentionally leaving your cell at home so that you aren’t even tempted to text your ex. The time will come when you will be able to do just that, but if you really want to get your ex back through texting – you need to resist and have zero contact with him today.

And while you’re in a no contact phase, practice some self reflecting and see whether it’s a good idea to get back with your ex.

 

Open the Door

Text Your Ex Back - Relationship Fixing SystemOnce you’ve made it through that initial no-contact phase, your opportunity for reaching out has arrived. Hallelujah, you can finally rescue your phone from exhalation!

But now that you have that treasured piece of technology back in your hands, what should you text to get your ex back?

The answer to that question will vary depending on your relationship, but you want that first text to be something that will make him smile. No drama. No fuss. You don’t even necessarily need to be asking a question. Just a simple line letting him know he is on your mind, hopefully reminding him of better times. Those are the text messages that will make him want you back.

A few perfect examples are:

Remember that party we went to over Halloween weekend? I just ran into the chick who was dressed up like Octomom. She still seemed crazy. But it made me smile, thinking of you.

Breakfast at Tiffanies is playing on the big screen. Couldn’t help but think of you and that morning we spent all day in bed watching it and drinking coffee… Hope all is well.

My boss signed me up for the company softball league. You should probably call him and tell him about that disastrous date we had at the batting cages. I don’t think he realizes what he’s done.

The goal is to put a smile on his face. If you have done your job and followed the no-contact rule up to now, the combination of curiosity on his part and happy memories conjured up by you will lead him to text back.

But even if he doesn’t, you have at least planted a seed.

 

Subtlety is Key

Your ex boyfriend is undoubtedly going to be wondering what your motivation for texting is. You don’t want to clue him into that just yet though. Avoid being too forward at this point. Don’t ask him to get together or inquire about his current dating status. You want to keep your former flame guessing here.

Remember my friend Jane? The mistake she would have made at this point is assuming that if he texts back, he must be equally interested in getting back together. That isn’t always the case though. In fact, sometimes they just respond back out of pure curiosity.

So Jane’s inclination to use this first conversation as a jumping off point for texting a multi-paragraph “I miss you” ode is not the way to go. In fact, when Jane did just that (instead of listening to the resounding “no” from her friends when she asked “Should I text my ex boyfriend?”) her ex screen-shotted the whole thing and posted it to his Facebook page.

Don’t be Jane.

Example of bad text message to send ex.

Yeah…don’t do this too.

Instead, keep your cool and let the conversation flow naturally. Rather than texting things like:

I miss you.

I still love you.

Can we try again?

Try messages like:

You’ve been on my mind. How are you?

I heard from Steve that you got that promotion. I know you worked so hard for it. Congratulations!

I finally read that book you were so excited about. You were right, it’s amazing.

Do you see the difference? You are still expressing a vibe of caring, but you aren’t necessarily showing all your cards. Your ex will be wondering what your motive is, and in wondering that – he will want to keep the conversation going until he can figure you out.

Simple text messages to get your ex back are the way to go.

 

Give Him an Opening

Your initial text shouldn’t have a question to it. You don’t want to make it seem like you are goading him into a conversation. But once he responds to that, you can encourage a conversation with a few questions in the texts that follow.

Consider asking him about his job, his roommates, or anything else you may have shared in the past and are hoping for an update on. Once the conversation is going, some of the best texts to get your ex back might be:

I saw the neighbor walking her bulldog and immediately thought of you. Are you still thinking of getting one?

How did that class you were so frustrated with turn out?

Graduation is coming up – is your sister getting excited?

Do not ask about his current dating status though. Your questions should be enough to guide a conversation and prompt him to respond, but nothing that will seem too heavy or give your intentions away too early.  In fact, don’t ask about anything relationship-oriented at all.

That would be a Jane move. And remember, you’re cooler than Jane.

Text Your Ex Back: Second Chance With Ex

 

Leave the Conversation Hanging

After all that, you do not want to be the last to text. Text messages that get your ex back are the ones that open the doors to communication but don’t focus on closing the deal. So look for an opportunity to duck out of the conversation. No warning or official goodbye, just silence on your end.

Now, you want to be careful with this. If he asks you a direct question, you obviously want to respond. But the second he texts something that could go by without a reply on your end, let the conversation die.

I know this goes against your instincts. You are finally talking to him and you want to keep the conversation going forever!

But you can’t. Not if you want to keep him guessing and wondering what you may be thinking. You have to let the conversation end, and you have to let him be the last one to text.

As far as I know, there are no studies that have been done on this, but I swear there must be some sort of psychological force that pulls people back to a conversation where they were the last to reply. Your ex will find himself staring back at his phone again and again, trying to figure out if he’s going to hear from you again or not.

This is why restraining from continuing to text your ex is just as important as learning how to text him. You will suddenly be on his mind in a way you haven’t been for weeks. He won’t be able to stop thinking about you and trying to analyze your intentions in texting him in the first place.

And that is how you will have sucked him back in.

Because trust me, it won’t be long before he reaches out again. And this time – the ball will be 100% in your court.

 

Make Your Play

Woman texting a message at an outdoor restaurant.It may be a few days before you get another text from your ex boyfriend, but he will get in touch again. Most likely he will be employing the same method you did; bringing up some distant memory and inciting a smile on your end. Reply back in the same tone you were using before – light and flirty.

Remember, the best text message to get your ex back is one that leaves him smiling.

But this time, after a few texts back and forth, you can make a move for actually seeing him. You want to make this look like something completely non-committal though – just your desire to get together with an old friend and nothing more. Perfect examples of things to text your ex to get him back at this stage are:

Hey, I’m about to run into a meeting, but do you want to get coffee this week? I would love to catch up more!

You are cracking me up! I’ve had the longest day too, so thanks – I needed the smile. Don’t suppose you’re up for happy hour? I wouldn’t hate hearing more about your new job!

Did you see who is coming in for a book signing on Saturday? I was going to go, but do you want to join? Nobody else appreciates his writing the way you do! Maybe we could grab lunch after and catch up?

Again, this isn’t a desperate plea for reconciliation. It is instead a friendly invitation – no strings and no pressure.

But it is enough to get you face to face, which is the first step in finding your way back to each other. All because you were born in an era of cell phones and technology, giving you the chance to create that opening in the first place.

Lucky you!

 

Want To Follow A Proven Texting Plan?

If you want to follow a step-by-step texting sequence, I would highly recommend you to check out Michael Fiore’s Text Your Ex Back program. You’ll discover the art of texting and learn how to craft simple and powerful text messages your ex boyfriend can’t resist.

These techniques are extremely handy and will put you in the driver’s seat of a your new found relationship.

And in the meantime, text responsibly ladies. Remember, don’t be Jane!

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 45 comments
jedidiah harriette - a couple of years ago

am stuck in this point, we broke up but his friends became close to me. we could hangout together but then he said he doesnt like me anymore. i started texting him recently many times a day and now he is just tired of me. what should i do to start over again. i dont want him back but dont wanna lose the friendship

Reply
    Charice - last year

    Just be casual and only talk to each other when you’re around friends. Don’t text or call him privately. It’ll just make him feel like you’re making a move.

    Reply
Chastidy Santana - last year

Hello. I just wanted to get your advice. Me and my ex have been broken up for two months already. I know he hasnt been seeing anyone and I still think he has feelings for me. But my issue is that, once I see him, I can’t get enough. I guess I get overly excited and want to talk to him for the whole day. We saw eachother yesterday out of pure coincidence at his job and we talked for awhile and even on the phone too. I texted him today asking if he ever wants to hang out, to let me know and we can meet up. I even said that if he ever feels down or upset at me, then he can tell me and I would always understand and make it better. He didnt seem so happy to see me yesterday at first because of our breakup but then he was opening up afterwards. But ever since I texted him that today, he hadn’t responded. Should I ignore him now? Im going to a Thai restaurant tonight and was thinking of texting him about it like as a casual text of saying that he should try it but should I even text him again even though it would be casual, since he already ignored the other one earlier? Maybe I came off too strong too fast. I dont really know what to do.

Reply
    Charice - last year

    Give him some space to work out his feelings and what he wants. If you keep initiating contact, he’ll assume that you’re always there for him. Let him initiate when he’s ready.

    Reply
Pinkie Sikhosana - last year

Hey i dumped my boyfriend lst week bcoz i thought or shld i say i felt like he waz cheating, he chnge alot al da things he used to do he stpd doing thm, his status, and p. P waz opposite to wat we had been fighting bt his status waz talking abt how he wants to hold someone so i ddnt undrtstand i askd him he said i mst stop assuming things, so i ended things up bt now i flt so terrible bcoz i dumped him for somthing i waz not sure of and i miss him alot and still i want him back wat can i do?

Reply
    Charice - last year

    Your ex is correct. You should never accuse based on assumptions and blame him like that. You probably don’t even know where he’s coming from. You do have the right to suspect but you should talk upfront with him about it or find a way to understand him. A lot of us women fail in this area. We judge too quickly before understanding where our men are coming from.

    First thing to do is to give him a sincere apology and let him know you acknowledge your problems. Tell him you’re willing to work on these mistakes and see what he says. You could also work on these problems yourself why giving him some time to cool off.

    Reply
D'anna Edwards - last year

Hi My name is D’anna Edwards. Me and my ex-boyfriend went out for almost a month and he and I went off awesome. we called each other nicknames, called every night, and kissed each other on the phone each night. But we was in a long distance and recently he asked me what would i do if he liked someone else and I said I don’t know what to say and I couldn’t answer because I was in a emotional state. The day after he asked me to be best friends and I told him i’m fine with it as long as he’s okay i’m okay. And he was shocked and told me he never met someone who had such devotion and strong love. And he told me I love you and that he only did this not to make me cay or hurt. And he said he’s sorry and that I’ll never lose him. And he also said he knows that i’m different and my devotion is incredible.

The next day He text me saying he doesn’t want to hurt me, and that I can stay in his life forever. Then on the day before his birthday ( which is the 8th of June) he told me he was preparing for his birthday and ask me not to call or text him that day till he reached out and that made me question why would he say that. the night when he told me that, I saw a picture of him and his closest friend ( which is his gf now) snuggled together in his bed and I was getting emotional because he never told me about he until I remembered the question about him liking someone and he must be talking about her.

Then on his birthday I told him happy birthday and he said thank you and when I asked him about the picture, he said him and her are a thing. and he said think about everything he’s been doing. He said he still loves me too but he said sorry. He said sorry twice to me too. So I’m asking you your opinion about this please. I miss him and I want back but I don’t know if he wants me back or not. And he also told me i’m not like an ex to him so i’m confused. PLEASE HELP!!!

Reply
    Charice - last year

    The reason why you’re feeling this pain is because you’ve already made yourself exclusive for this man when he hasn’t done the same for you. All the sweet talks on the phone is really just talk to hook you in. It’s easier to say things over the phone and not really mean it.

    What you should do is just move on and stop all contact with him. Stop checking his Facebook too. The fact that he wants to be best friends could indicate that he wants to keep you around as Plan B. There’s no reason for you to stick around and see if he really means what he says.

    By the way, who started the labeling of girlfriend and boyfriend? Don’t commit your heart until he’s proven to you he’s exclusive to you. In the meantime, focus on yourself and date other guys. You will always find a better person.

    Reply
frankie white - last year

I could do with some advice on my relationship… We were friends for a long time before anything happend I initially didn’t want anything to happen as were were good friends anyway things happened and it was really good until he was spending so much time with his ex so I started to think things were happening he assured me their wasn’t but he wouldn’t risk his friendship with her.
Anyway a few months go by and o start to get feelings and then he says he thinks we should stay friends as its to hard work and I did say I didn’t think I could that seeing things and hearing things about him would just upset me …
I am missing him so much as I’ve not only lost him but also are friendship I messages him about his belongings for him to tell me to throw them away and I told him I was missing him he never replied and I feel like he doesn’t care I so wish we could work things out and start dating again I need help

Reply
    Charice - last year

    It’s hard to be friends with someone that is attracted to another. There’s a lot of awkwardness especially when the feelings aren’t mutual. This guy probably pulled away because he doesn’t know how to be with you now that he knows your feelings. But that’s okay for you. It’s better for you to express your feelings than keep it in and just be friends. Just give him some space for now. Perhaps he’ll realize what he’s lost when you’re not around. Is he attracted to you in any way? This is something to work on if you want him.

    Reply
Chalize - last year

I met a wonderful guy. We became close friends. He was open told me in a year’s time he and his ex girlfriend broke up and he would want me to be his only woman. He said his break up was mutual and they agreed to be just friends. He asked if I was ok with that and I felt since he was open it was no big deal.

Wish I knew, 3years down the line I discovered they were sleeping together. I asked him and he was remorseful. He said they went for a movie one day got drunk and did it!!!! He apologised and after 3 months we got back together and the ex gave him ultimatum either me or her…. He chose me.
Then I discovered he has a child with another woman abroad and he goes to visit her and the chld. He want me to accept them as his second family and says am with most of times and the woman abroad knows he is married to me.
Should I divorce this guy

Reply
renee - last year

Hi..Many thanks for your articles and advice! I just broke up with my boyfriend (he decided to break it off). This was about 3 wks back. Basically it came down to ‘no more passion’ in the relationship… I still love him and want us to get back together and work on it, we had a long distance relationship but saw each other often and were quite serious (marriage talk, meeting the families, etc.) I have been on No Contact ever since the break up and I wonder when I should contact him… of course I am also taking some time-out to heal myself and get some space, but I would like to talk to him at some point and see if we can reconcile… I have not heard from him yet which makes it harder… What do you recommend? I wonder if I need more time before contacting him or whether I should do so after 1 month has passed. Also shall my first message be friendly and highlighting a memory or can I just say hi and also be practical (he still has my stuff at his place which I need to get back so how do I bring that up also)??
Thanks!

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Jennifer - last year

Me and my husband of 6 years have been separated for 3 months I want to work out but he says I nag to much what should I do. I found out he talking to a woman in another country. I lost advice needed

Reply
    Charice - last year

    If you do nag a lot, it’s best that you work on this problem first. This is something that will make him turn away and look for attention elsewhere.

    Reply
Markita - last year

Hello I can use some advice on my relationship, we been together since 7.7.13 we have one child together an another on the way. With our first child we broke up when I was six months bc he cheated I didn’t want too, I just wanted us to work it out. Well after our daughter was born, we was getting back close. Well it came to a place where he moved in with me. I’m thinking we working things but that change I notice he was still communicate with females. Well a month later we found we was pregant, is there hope for us? I want out family to work this is the only man I gave all of me too.

Reply
    Charice - last year

    This is really tough to say since there are children involved. It looks like your boyfriend (or ex) is just not ready to commit. He still values his freedom and wants to explore his options. In order for you to be exclusive to him, you need to create an intense emotional attraction to him.

    Reply
Kelsey - last year

My situation is diffrent than most, i just found your website and just wanted to hear your advice. I met this guy, and he’s a lot older than me. We hung out a lot as friends and grew closer. We kissed and other things, we grew close. The thing is though, he was three years out of a devorce, she cheated on him. It distroyed him. But he was not wanting an open relationship because of that. But I was ok with it. He has a close friend who is a girl, let’s call her beth. Beth grew jealous of me, very jealous, and tried to distroy our relationship. She confronted my mother and told her she was worried and told my mom that she should stop me from seeing him. Mom didnt, she let me see him. I fell in love with him, I love this man so very much and I told him. He took it well. Now back to beth, a while after my mom invaded my phone and read our texts. My mom talked to me about it and we worked it out. But before we did, my mom told beth every detail….even the physical stuff we did. I can’t ever forgive my mom for that. So one day beth got mad at all three of us because we hung out (like we did all the time) without her, keep in mind she’s a very immature person, very very immature. So she told him everything she knew. Hes a very private guy and I can only imagine him knowing that she and my mom knew mortified him. He hasn’t spoke to me since….that was four weeks ago. It feel like an age though. Unfortunately I pleaded the day I relized he wasn’t speaking to me, but only the one day, I didn’t keep begging. A few days later I send some photos and talked about our memories. I love him so very much and want him back in my life. Even as just a friend, he’s an amazing person that everyone loves, I could be just his friend. I just want to hear from him. I knew him for 5 months, but we bonded so well and so fast in that time, he’s on my mind everyday. I love him in every way. Thank you for reading I hope to hear from you.

Reply
    Charice - last year

    Give him some more time and space. He’s lost his trust in you and his reputation is hurt. He just doesn’t know how to face you in the meantime. Have you had the chance to apologize to him?

    Reply
Eve - last year

Hi,

I’m on day 1 of no contact, I have been pushing him too hard previously and I think i worsen it a lot. is been 5 days he never reply any or read any of my text before I start this no contact. What if he never contact or send me messages within this 30 days or even after? I’m still hoping that we could still be friends and talk (even tho i still want him back but i don want to give more stress to him or him pulling away from me) and i still hope we could go on our upcoming trip on our upcoming birthday together…. =(

Reply
    Charice - last year

    Don’t worry about whether he’ll contact you during No Contact. This period is for you to help you get over the breakup and focus on yourself. Try not to worry about your ex and where he’s at. Your goal is to get your life back together and find that spark that he (or any man) finds attractive. Focus on the things you can control – you.

    Reply
Alice - last year

I’m so torn up right now. We dated for 11 months and were friends for 5 months before we started dating. I broke up with him about a week and a half ago (November 12th) over his parents which I soon realized was a dumb reason and we broke up over text of all things. The day after I realized my mistake and called him and told him that this was all stupid and I still loved him…He said it was better off this way.
We never had any problems in the relationship (besides his rude parents) and we went on vacation twice togeather to the beach and our first prom. I refuse to believe he doesn’t love me anymore it just cant happen that fast in a matter of a week. I really need help with this. He texted me first one night when I went on a date with my friend (who is a boy) and he asked me about my date and everything (He told me he learned all of this by being on my Instagram page and stalking me)

I really want him back I have contacted him a couple times after the breakup just texting but I feel so broken about this. I feel like If I ignore him he wont want me back and he will only forget. I’m 18 years old and he is 17.

Reply
    Charice - last year

    Relationships are not a top priority for men. They don’t think about love and romance like we do. Trust me, they can snap out of a relationship in a minute if it gets too overwhelming. And unfortunately, it’s also our fault to not realize this and feel more devastated than our ex because we pour all our heart into the relationship.

    If he’s stalking you, great. Let him continue doing that while you live your life. Once he feels he’s losing you, he’ll initiate to ask for a second chance. He’s going to start missing you when he sees you having a good time.

    Reply
gk - last year

Hi…we were online friends for 6 years n chatted at times for more than 2 hours , suddenly he got a great promotion for being the head of the hospital n he stopped looking at me at all …he had time for his Facebook updation n watching movies with friends but no time for me..I proposed him I’m dec 2014 n he denied ..I followed the no contact rule for a year n now I have whats app him saying that I recalled him as I visited a hospital n saw an efficient doctor also asked him how is he doing n can we be friends back again ? I did not leave a funny conversation ..he has not replied n its 2 days now…what should I do now ?

Reply
    Charice - last year

    For guys, having time for his friends versus his girlfriend/partner are two different things. Simply put, hanging out with his buddies is relaxing and “chilling”. There’s no pressure. But being with a girlfriend, there are expectations which he must fulfill. This means more “work”. He has to listen to you, take you out, and impress you. This is much harder especially after a long day of work. Try to understand and put things in his perspective.

    You need to understand how men work before they work for you.

    Reply
cyco eva - last year

sorry if i p0st twice, I dunno if this went thru, like a few months ago my ex texted me and said he has a 7 year old son that he never knew about. well i’m with a new guy so obviously im not supposed to talk to my ex, but this was such a surprise to me that I texted him back and forth for a couple hours. come to more recently, my ex told me that he doesn’t have a son, that someone had stolen his phone. I don’t know what to believe. well,, now, he texted me and said he has a money making opportunity for me, but he wont give me any details. we used to be business partners a long time ago, but he didn’t appreciate me, so it was a failure. why would he text me these things? please give me some insight, I have blocked him on all my internet apps except the phone for texting. what’s the best way to deal with a dude like this?

Reply
shai - last year

hi, my boyfriend broke up with me for almost 2 months because i did know that he was cheating on me. he was so sorry for what he has done and regret why he gave up on our relationship. that he shouldn’t have done that because i was so kind to him and that our relationship had been quite great at some point.
but few days later, i tried to beg for a second chance but then he said that we can’t have second chance anymore and that we could just be friends for now. and if we are really meant to be, destiny will make its way for us to get back.
after that my mind was so scattered, i don’t know what to do, how to get him back. So i texted, called and tried to meet up with him to say how much i love him, beg for his love again for us to have second chance. but it seems that he has already decided to be with his bitch girlfriend. although when i ask him if is she the one you want to be with? he said “i don’t know, it’s not yet on my mind i still have lots of plans for my family”. after that i said that i understand him and will let him go. but then few days later i ask for a second chance again and he didn’t replied anymore.
i know that i’ve been so irrational, desperate, needy and i guess nagger also because i really want to be with him again. I’ve done all the mistakes post break up. and i know that i hit the end of his patience with me. so i decided that i will start the “no contact” with him.
Do you think he will still love me after all i’ve done? what if he won’t text me again after the no contact period? can i be the one to initiate meet up/text him if he won’t contact me anymore?
thanks

Reply
LeLe - last year

Hi, so I’m young but I met this boy last year (in class). We were pretty good friends and talked about everything, light and deep topics, over text, but for some reason it’s always been awkward to talk in real life, so we rarely talk in person. He liked me when we met last year but then he stopped and liked/dated a couple other girls afterwards. Through the whole time, we kept texting and I always had a feeling he subtly liked me. Then, during winter, we texted and he flirted with me a lot, it was basically like we dated because we talked really late and it was really nice. He told me that his phone broke and had to use another phone so I couldn’t text him for a little while. I know he was telling the truth because I saw him with a different phone. But then, he suddenly had a girlfriend and I was so confused, and stopped talking to him for about a month and a half. Usually the largest gap between texts was 6-8 days so it was so bad for me, but he seemed fine of course. I started texting him this week, and he responded but he left the conversation first. I don’t know if he didn’t get the text (it was on a messaging system that deletes texts sometimes), or if he got bored. Can you help? I also am not sure because he broke up with his girlfriend last week I think so I don’t know what to do anymore. If you can help, thank you:)

Reply
    Charice - last year

    Wait a week or two and see if he texts back. You shouldn’t be the one always initiating contact.

    Reply
Joey - last year

Hey, my situation is really complicated and I hope you could help me out. I met her (my ex) while studying overseas on a 2 years exchange and we’re both from a different country (though it’s adjacent to each other). I left one semester earlier than her after finishing my studies and returned to my home country in September 2015. Initially she was sad for the first few months and then she started thinking a lot within this period. She then broke up with me via a text message about 5 months ago (in November 2015) right after her exams. She mentioned that she doesn’t see a future with me and that we have very different personalities with plenty of differences which she didn’t explain in detail. Just a few weeks before this break up text, she did message me to say that she missed me a lot and wished for me to be physically with her. Also, we were constantly keeping in touch via text and skype etc, and it really seemed to me that she was happy to talk to me. I ordered flowers online on our anniversary that were sent to her address during that period and she seemed really happy about it she even posted several times all over social media (facebook and instagram namely). However, things just went downhill a few weeks after this period, when she texted me about wanting to break up with me in November 2015, she said she was ‘seeing someone else’ though there’s nothing serious between them. I really love her a lot but I just don’t seem to know what to say to her or change her feelings towards me. Since then, she has returned back to her home country earlier a few months ago for good upon finishing university. I have had no contact with her for over a month now as I haven’t spoken to her since the last time we texted was when I uploaded pictures on facebook of us to an album where I changed the privacy settings to private (only she can see the photos as she is auto tagged in them) and she sounded pissed for that, requesting me to remove those photos. I plan to travel a few hours to where she’s at to meet her for coffee or something but before that I am unsure of what to text her and if whether she will agree to meet up with me and just catch up on life. Hopefully you could help to advice me on how and what I might be able to do to win her back. Thank you so much!

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Gina - last year

So my ex and I recently broke up. Like a day ago and we’ve been friends for a year dated for 10 months. We’ve been through A LOT with family conflicts, his anger issues, etc. Even though it was hard we kept going. Suddenly he felt like he lost the spark. So he gave it 2 weeks to figure it out where it went and he didn’t tell me about so he decided to find it on his own. He overthinks a lot like I do so in which it doesn’t help at all. So we went through a “space” for 4 days and then apparently he made up his mind to break it off with me. Although he didn’t bring any of my clothes and things back from his house. I tried to convince him to give me a chance to fight for it but he kept saying he already made up his mind. So while we were dividing our stuffs. There some of his clothes that he left and also his blanket. I felt terrible because he was my first love and my parents accepted him as their own. We talked about travelling and marriage and everything about the future. He drove back home and I sent him msgs to come back and that I’m breaking down but he turned his phone airplane mode. As he got home he called me back but I didn’t answer because I was really hurt. Then he went to our best friends house to watch a movie then he tried calling me around 2:30am I told him that it’s going to be okay I’m willing to move forward if you want me to. Then he seemed really sad about it and I told him that we should both get each other some sleep then I hung up. He Msged me goodnight and I asked him if he’s gonna be able to sleep but he said he’ll try. I wanted to call him so bad but I was too hurt so I decided not to. The next morning I did this stupid thing which is I called him and I broke down and told him what I felt. That he threw everything away by himself overthinking within 2 weeks because relationship involves not 1 but 2 persons. Then he said that he’s sorry and stuff and that its okay if my friends bashed him to make me feel but when he said that he seemed hurt I told him that whatever they say I always fight for him. Then when he fell asleep I just ended the call because I wanted to save myself going ballistic then he msg me “why did the call end” I didn’t reply cause I’m planning to do the 30 day of not maybe 15. I have a feeling that he’s so clouded by it that he’s hiding his true feelings. He suggested that we should just remain friends because he respect me as a friend. But I know deep inside since I know him inside and out that he loves me but he’s just stressing out a lot. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him.

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Cath - last year

Hello. I met my boyfriend on Instagram. We then started direct messaging. He would always check on my everyday and call me beautiful and perfect. Then we moved to talking on facebook messenger. He then said “Hey, so I don’t want there to be a day where we don’t talk. so if there is anything, please tell me what you don’t like about me.” I told him there was nothing bad about him. we proceeded to talk every day and night since we had different time zones. One day he sent me a long paragraph. It was like a long poem about how much he loved me. I eventually got attracted and loved him back. This carried on for 2 months and we started Skype calling everynight and Skype hugging eachother. I even said “we talk like a couple even though we aren’t one.” he then said “sorry, I kinda just made you my gf. we are dating :)” Then one day, we were playing a game together. The Skype call dropped so I kept calling him. That distracted him from his game and made him lose. I think that may have angered him. Then started his mind games. He would still be loving, but not as much as before. He then started to get sudden mood swings at me. then apologise after. He even told her he regretted breaking up with his girlfriend and would ask her out in 2 months. I ignored him for about a week and he texted good morning and night every day. He then asked me what was wrong and that I could tell him anything since he loved me. I then told him. he then said that he just stopped trying after a while but still loved me. a few days later he was like “well, I do like a girl. I loved her, the most i ever have. she is the most beautiful, hot, smart and talented girl i have ever loved. I just want to know how to meet all her standards. how to win her back. advice on what i am doing. wrong. I’m being my myself around her. being a moody toxic parasitic to her. Well, i’m talking to her right now. Her name is Cath <3"
I started talking to him less and he got the idea that i lost interest. He said that it was fine since we couldn't really call eachother in a relationship because we haven't had physical contact yet. 3 days ago, he has sent me morning texts saying "good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?"He has also been constantly asking me to play a video game with him. But he hasn't talked to me for 2 days now, despite being online altho less often.

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Jennifer - 11 months ago

My ex and I were together for almost 6 years.. and we broke up 6 years ago.. I feel like we have been through everything and we broke down because of a really crappy year (job loss, kids acting crazy etc) and communication break down. We have done the hanging out and the no talking for months… every time there is radio silence, HE is ALWAYS the one to find some sort of reason to reach out.. We normally always meet up for drinks and then he tells me how much he misses me and if we don’t talk something is missing in his life and that he made a mistake.. but the next day he will always blame the drinks and say I can’t listen to him when he is “drunk” But he still comes around, I have been very clear that I am looking for someone to be in a true relationship with… he always tries for a hookup. I am so confused. part of me wants him back, but the other part of me is sick of his games.. I mean its been 6 years.. hasnt he figured anything out yet??? HELP

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Veronica - 11 months ago

I dumped my bf ? I had sex with other guy
But all i did was a because of my anger towards him and i waneted to forget him bcause he left me when i needed him and he is my cousin so i can never marry him
But now he came to know about that guy and about my relation with him and he came to know about everything
No only this i cheated him several times
But he forgave me all the time
But this time i really love him
I just love him like anything and i need him back
Im regretting like anything for my mistakes
I want ro forget my past and start a new life with him
But he is not interested
He still loves me but he cant forget the mistakes i did
So he decided to move on
Please help me
I really need him plzz help me with this please i dont hav any other way
I jusy need him i cant live without him
Please help me

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Sierra - 10 months ago

I have been broken up with my boyfriend for about over a month and he has been talking to another girl and he is making me jealous and i want to text him but i feel like i shouldnt like he needs time to figure out his feelings i just need him

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    Charice - 10 months ago

    If your ex seems to be moving on, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be too. Enjoy your life and focus on the things you love. Maybe that’ll get your ex’s attention and he’ll be the one to contact you.

    Reply
Anna - 10 months ago

After a month of limited contact (we still live together), I texted my ex boyfriend today about a movie that came out and he responded within a minute of that text, but it seems like the conversation ended. Should I just call it a win that he responded so quickly? Then just wait to talk to him again? I’m away from our place for the weekend but I should be seeing him in person when I get back.
Thank you! 🙂

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Liv - 8 months ago

So I met this guy and fastforward 2 months down the track and he asks me to be his girlfriend. Yesterday I brought up that something wasn’t right and he told me he didn’t feel a spark but that he thought I was a great girl and deserved better. What is this “spark”? Read the first comment for more..

We have a lot of fun together and get along amazingly and there is also intense chemistry (we weren’t missing that) so it took me by surprise when he said this because to me we had everything that could potentially be long term. Yes I suppose we never had the honey moon period and we straight to the comfortable, but is that a bad thing? What was missing, I suppose when he said spark he meant that giggly, butterflies in tummy, nervous feeling of lust but is it really a bad thing that was missing. When he asked me to be his girlfriend he listed all the things he loved about me and his friends all told me different things to, that he was crazy about me and so did he (we weren’t great at talking about feelings)! The way I see it is, that a spark burns bright and fades fast (something Taylor swift writes about) and from experience I have absolutely felt that as I am a hopeless romantic and I have always wanted a guy from a movie and to have that fairytale ending. Even I will admit that there wasn’t really as such a spark but he was crazy about me (so I thought). This is spark to me is made up (and sometimes maybe not) but do you really want a spark for your future or do you want, comfortable, compatibility, trust, familiarity, friendship, great sex (that wasn’t missing). It’s safe to say there were a few tears shed on both parts. My question is do you think he will realise he has made a mistake once he sees that yes he may get that initial spark (that we had at the start, otherwise he wouldn’t of kept it going) with another girl but when he realises he doesn’t have all those other things that make up a great long term partner, will he come back?

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Alice - 8 months ago

Hi, my boyfriend and I broke up about a month, but I tried to be his friend (I know now it was a big mistake), he saw another girl but didn’t want me to know, I don’t think they’re dating though. He eventually told me and I got sad and told him how I felt about that, but I said it was ok. He wanted to talk to me during the week, but a friend of mine told him not to, since he hurt me. After seeing some videos and reading your articles,, I thought about saying something like “I’m sorry I’ve been emotional, I had other things in mind and lashed out”, but I didn’t, because I thought it was kinda late to reply. So I started the “no contact” phase. After a week he says he’s sorry about that. Do you think there’s still a chance? Should I respond to that or continue my “no contact” phase?

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Hazel - 8 months ago

I have broken up with my ex boyfriend for a month because he said, he had so much problem and got stress but he also said that he didn’t love me anymore when I asked him to comeback with me (3 days after we break up) but, he said if I have new boyfriend, better to tell him. We have been in no contact for 3 weeks. I don’t think he is seeing another girl, I thought he is stressing over his careeer (I read his status on social media). I texted him last week, the way he responded me was cold and short. We had conversation for 4 days then he didn’t give any respon after I said sorry for the second time so that’s the end of our conversation. What should I do to make a natural conversation and move his heart? I really want to get him back sooner or later.

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Kaitlin Garside - a few months ago

Me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago because im in college and he didnt like long distance. But I texted him last week and at first it was great but then we had a fight because I called him out on things. I love him and really want him back. Today i texted him and he said that he misses me but he doesn’t text me because we always fight. But how do I turn this around? Is there a way I can make him fall back in love with me and want me back?

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Grace - a couple of months ago

Hello!

I have no idea what to do. Me and my ex boyfriend have been together for 10 months and its been nothing but love, a little fighting here or there but that’s about it. In the 9th month of our relationship, he wasn’t able to see me for a bit because of school troubles. Now, we currently go to different schools so we sometimes have gone weeks at a time without seeing each other, and it makes us both angry and we fight, but then the next time we see each other, everything resets and it’s just like when we first met. Last time I saw him in person was back in January around the 25th and it went well, we even cuddled in the car. After that it was normal. Now, he has anger issues too so he’s been getting more and more prone to anger after us not being able to see each other for more than 2 weeks (the most we’ve ever been separated) and he’s been acting very bipolar. One night we fought and he told me to “F*** Off” and he called me a B****. I told him goodnight and at midnight he called me apologizing and he pretty much went back to calling me baby and stuff like that. Me and him always fell asleep over a Skype call together so he said that something was missing so he called. A couple days later, I called him and he seemed irritated so I asked him what was wrong and he just said that he wasn’t in a good mood and stuff like that. That morning, we fought again and he dumped me. That night we talked about the breakup and he seemed pretty mad. We have have friends so I sent them screenshots of what he told me and that of course made him really mad and he said I ruined my chances of getting him back so I asked to call him for a bit. He gave me 5 minutes to say whatever I had to say, then he said “I truly loved you.” And hung up. Now before that, we talked about our futer and getting married and all of that jazz and he told me we could be together forever. He told me he left me because a relationship was too much in his life and he didn’t want to date. I of course cried and begged fot him to give me another cance the next couple days and sent long paragraphs telling him I was sorry and all that jazz then the night before last one of his friends told me he liked another girl so I freaked out and texted my ex and stuff. Then last night he said he didn’t want to be friends and he sent me a picture of him and the girl sitting next to each other and smiling. I responded by sending pictures of me and him together and he told me to not talk to him again. I told him that it wouldn’t work out with her because she’s christian and vegan, and he hates Christians and vegans. He told me “It may not work but at least it happened” then I called him immature then he stopped replying and I calmed down a little bit then genuinely thanked him for making me feel good about myself. The friend that told me about the girl said that he asked if they were together and my ex said “Yes and no.” He blocked me on Instagram and went private but not Skype so I could text him if I wished. Today I told myself I wouldn’t text him until the end of this week and I accidentally texted him today then apologized saying I meant to send it to someone else.

At this point, I really want him back because I know we can wait until we go to the same school. However, I don’t know how to get him back. I know he loves me, and I love him too.

Please help.

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Ella - a couple of months ago

Hello! My ex boyfriend broke up with me less than 2 months ago. I think he fell out of love and attraction. I went NC/Radio silence for a little over a month (No, I never begged or chased him after BU). I worked on myself, did a lot of new things, etc. We were at a same event 11 days ago and I texted him about a good memory and how it made me happy. He replied with a neutral response. But then throughout the whole evening he would come very near and talk to the one person I am talking to… putting the guy in between me and him. He initiated contact the other day and we had a short conversation about his organizations and a small talk about what is going on with who. He was very chatty and friendly. I ended the conversation on a good note. 2 days later I chat him again briefly. He replies with a very neutral and close ended response and I don’t reply. Now he is liking my facebook posts and heart reacting to them. I really do want him back, how often should I chat with him? What’s the best move to make?

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laura - 3 weeks ago

I think I have overdone it. My boyfriend of three years broke up with me because he says my mom doesnt like him and is interfering in our relationship. Thats not the case though. For these past two months, I have been sending him messages ranging from I miss you thru hope we can work this out to give me the chance to make this work. All of which he read but never replied to. Yesterday, I spoke with a friend of his who told me I shouldn’t hv taken the breakup serious that he does that when he wants to be alone and that he will come back to me after a while. And I had actually decided I wasnt going to text him again after yesterday thats to mean I want to start the no contact rule. Is it too late? Please help me

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