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I get a lot of emails asking me about the No Contact Rule. Most people ask me for advice on how to get through No Contact so that they can recover fast. Others express their struggles after hopelessly giving in to their ex and breaking the silent treatment.
And from time to time, I get a question like this, “Does No Contact work if your ex is seeing someone else?”
Usually, this question comes from someone desperate to get their ex back. They are hoping that something magical will happen 30 or so days after staying silent. Like if their ex will suddenly reappear, apologize for their radical choice, and ask for forgiveness and a chance to get back together.
Sorry girl. That’s not going to happen. And unfortunately, that’s not the way the No Contact Rule works.
When someone asks me if the No Contact Rule works to get their ex back (or something along that line), I feel that they haven’t grasped the real purpose of No Contact. No, it’s not a breakup, make-up mechanism that rekindles broken relationships. The No Contact Rule is also not a period of time when you seek a rebound relationship to make your ex jealous and miss you like crazy.
The No Contact Rule is a healing process. It’s a period of time where you go radio silence, reevaluate your life, and re-align your life purpose. It’s a moment where your life hits rock bottom, and you need to call time-out on dating and relationships.
Breakups are tough. But sometimes, it could be a blessing in disguise.
It could take a couple of weeks or even months for you to recover from your breakup. But time shouldn’t be a factor here when your emotional, physical, and mental health is what’s important.
So, if you’re thinking about where No Contact works if your ex is seeing someone else, the answer is that it’s unrelated.
What your ex-boyfriend is doing has nothing to do with whether the No Contact Rule is working for you or not.
Implement No Contact is for your own good. And your former flame is not in the equation or not. This is the biggest misconception people make, thinking that the No Contact Rule is intended to help them get their ex back.
If your ex is seeing someone else, the chances are that he’s moved on. Even if it’s a rebound relationship, your ex is trying to start a new chapter of his life. What he’s doing is irrelevant to how the No Contact Rule will work for you.
The key is not to misunderstand the goal of the No Contact Rule. Its primary purpose is to provide a healing environment to help you get over your breakup and relieve the emotional pain. It’s about setting up personal barriers to help you forget about the person that broke your heart into a million pieces.
If you have the right mindset, the No Contact Rule is very effective.
Sometimes, people utilize the No Contact Rule with different intentions. They might go into radio silence to create a sense of loss to get their ex’s attention. While that works to some extent, getting your ex to miss you doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to get back together.
So how you define the success of going No Contact depends on what you’re using it for. The right way is to use this time to find yourself again and see what you want in life. It’s a moment of reflection and building up your self-esteem.
I know it’s a difficult process not to think about your ex during this period, especially when he’s already seeing someone else. Unfortunately, you’re not going to lure him back by staying silent. You’ll have better chances if you radiate awesomeness and catch your ex off guard.
Will he move on during no contact?
Part of using No Contact to heal is about moving on. So yes, your ex will most likely move on during No Contact. He’s finding himself again, learning what he wants in life, and using his freedom to find purpose again. You should be (in some way) happy for your ex-boyfriend.
I know it’s hard to accept this idea because you’re not ready to let go of your ex. But when there’s a breakup, it usually means that your relationship is broken. And one of the natural ways to fix a broken relationship is to give each other time and space to reflect and work on yourselves.
You never know. Your ex might reach out in a couple of months once he realized what he’s lost.
Will no contact make him move on? Don’t even worry about what your ex is up to. Focus on yourself and rebuild that sexy self-esteem again. When you’re full of confidence, it won’t matter if your ex has moved on or not. Your new and sassy self will effortlessly pull your ex back once he notices how much you’ve changed.
You two had a strong pull on each other before. That attraction can quickly come back once your ex sees an improved version of you.
Do exes come back after dating someone else?
Is your ex-boyfriend in a long-term relationship with someone else? If so, then it is best to wish them luck and see how it plays out. It’s tough to say whether exes come back after dating someone else. From my experience, people asking this question are hoping that their ex made the mistake of breaking up with them.
They hope that their exes realize that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
But don’t be hopelessly wishing that your ex will come back if his future relationships don’t turn out. It would help if you were living your life instead of waiting on his time. If you want to get his attention, the best way is always to let your success and beauty speak.
And this starts with building your emotional intelligence and unleashing your inner beauty.
Nothing. You should do nothing if your ex is seeing someone else. What your ex does should have zero impact on your life. I know it’s easier said and done. But if you have fully recovered and moved on with your life, you shouldn’t let your ex’s plan interfere with yours.
There’s no reason for you to get worked out or change your plans if you find out your ex is dating another person. In one way, thinking about your ex dating may be unfair to your current boyfriend. Also, there’s not much you can do to change your ex’s mind.
Get My Guide On Surviving No Contact: Breakup Is Over!
How do you tell if your ex is pretending to be over you?
One of my surefire ways to tell if your ex is pretending to be over you is to see if your ex is trying too hard.
Is he constantly posting photos of himself having a good time?
Is he finding ways to get your attention?
Is your ex pretending to be happy being single?
One quick look on your ex’s Facebook feed can reveal whether he is pretending to be over you or not. If you see unusual hyperactivity on your ex’s feed, then it’s likely that he’s trying too hard to prove to people that he’s over you.
Maybe it’s your former flame’s way of dealing with a breakup. But he’s having a hard time getting over you.
Keep in mind that successfully implementing the No Contact Rule has nothing to do with your ex. This is the biggest misconception people have about the NC Rule. Your ex-boyfriend is not in the equation now that he’s out of your life. You’re not trying to get him back in these 30 days.
The more you think about your ex, the more likely you’ll be repeating the No Contact Rule a couple of times.
During this period of time, be selfish with your time and focus on what really matters to you.
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