How Long Should No Contact Last

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Going through a bad breakup? I know it’s tough to get through this difficult situation. You’re lonely and confused, trying to get back on your feet while your heart is broken into a million pieces. You’ve probably heard that the No Contact Rule is the most effective way to help you get over a breakup and move on.

For the record, the No Contact Rule can be a lifesaver if you implement it the right way.

But how long should No Contact last?

You’ve probably heard of the 30 Day Rule, or even longer periods of 60 or 90 days. Some people even take more extended time periods to heal and get on with their lives.

Here’s my answer to how long the No Contact Rule should last.

It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you have some alone time and selfishly used this time period to rebuild your self-esteem and re-discover your life purpose. Usually, it takes a dumpee (who got dumped) around 30 days to terms with their breakup and rebuilds their well-being. After a few weeks of dealing with their emotional pain, the second phase of the No Contact period is to rebuild their lives and focus on their own life goals.

Rather than seeking an intimate relationship with someone else, use the No Contact period to build a personal relationship with yourself.

One of the biggest misconception people have about the No-Contact Rule is that they expect something magical to happen after 30 days. Perhaps their ex will magically appear at their footstep on Day 30, or they are completely healed while they run down the clock. One of the biggest No Contact Rule mistakes is people thinking they are ready to initiate contact with their ex-boyfriends and want to get back together. 

Their mindset is stuck on going back to a broken relationship.

This is why the No Contact Rule success rate is low and why most people break their silent treatment too soon. They have the wrong idea about the NC Rule. 

If you use this time period to focus on yourself selfishly, you will quickly see some positive effects in your life. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when your mind and heart are cravings for your ex.

It takes a lot of discipline, reflection, tons of distractions to get you through breakup grief and into a new chapter of your life.

RELATED: The No Contact Rule To Rule Your Next 30 Days Without Any Heartbreak

How Long Is Too Long For No Contact?

How Long Should No Contact Last

There is no timeframe for whether you’re implementing No Contact for too long. It’s not a race to see how fast you can recover and move on. It’s about using the No Contact Rule to create a personal buffer for yourself to rebuild your self-confidence and become a better person.

How long it takes for you to bring back your sassy confidence depends on you. Trust me, once you start to get on with your life, you won’t even notice that you’re still in the No Contact zone.

Usually, it’s recommended to go on a hard lockdown of 30 days and restrict yourself from any contact with your ex. No phone calls, texts, social media stalking, or anything that reminds you of your former flame. The key is to give yourself a relationship detox and let all the emotional pain and weight out of your system.

So focus on having a personal relationship with yourself. Re-discover your life goals and start ticking off things on your bucket list. In a positive way, breakups can be a blessing in disguise where you are single and free without any relational strings tying you down to achieve success.

For the time being, stop thinking about romantic relationships. It’ll come again when the time is right? Don’t rush yourself into an intimate situation again until you have fully healed and ready to make another commitment.

RELATED: Why Is The No Contact Rule So Effective After A Breakup?

Will he move on during no contact?

One of the goals during the No Contact period is to move on. This is the only way to get over your breakup and look past your broken relationship. You can assume that your ex will move on during No Contact because he needs to get on with his life.

It would make matters worse for both of you if you’re waiting for your ex to reach out after 30 days and let him run more relationship games on you. If that’s the case, you’re likely to be breaking and repeating the No Contact Rule with poor results.

What your ex does during No Contact should not matter to you. The more you think about him, the longer it will take for you to achieve good results for yourself. Rest assured that your ex will move on during No Contact. So will you.

RELATED: Does The No Contact Rule Work On Men If You Want Him Back?

What goes through his mind during no contact?

There are a lot of things that go through the male mind during No Contact. If your ex-boyfriend is the dumper, here are two things that he is going through during No Contact.

1. He’s wondering how you are doing.

Believe it or not, your ex has already checked out the relationship long before the night of the breakup. He planned it a long time ago. What he’s going to say, how he’s going to break it to you, and when he’s going to do it.

What’s worst is he’s already dealt through his cycle of emotions, and making the breakup official may feel like a big weight is lifted off his shoulders.

And it’s unfair for you. You’re caught by surprise. Your dreams were destroyed overnight. And you’re left embarrassed, confused, and alone.

Now, your ex is most likely going to care about how you’re doing. Even though he’s caused the pain, he will feel a sense of regret and sympathy for putting you through the pain. After all, you two were once best friends and shared deep secrets. You two shared great moments in your relationship.

It’s human nature for your ex to care still and check up on you. How you want to react to his sympathy is up to you.

RELATED: How Long Does It Take For An Ex To Miss You With No Contact

2. He’s planning his next move. 

Now that your ex-boyfriend got what he wants, he’s planning how he’s going to capitalize on his newfound freedom. Maybe he has new life goals, and he wants to chase success. Perhaps he feels stuck in his past relationship and needs a breath from relationships.

Whatever your ex is planning, it should be irrelevant to you. He’s focusing on his life, and you should be rebuilding yours too.

It’s hard to respect your ex when he’s the one that called off the relationship. But relationships are a two-way street which means that it’s not all your ex’s fault. The relationship was long broken, and someone just had to initiate the breakup before things get worse.

How Long Does It Take For An Ex To Miss You With No Contact?

How Long Should No Contact Last

Like I mentioned earlier, your ex will go through a phase where he’s missing you in the first few weeks. Even though he’s had a head start in the breakup to deal with his emotions, your ex is only beginning to live his life without you after the separation. So he’s going to feel dumper’s remorse and regret letting you go. 

He’s going to miss the great times you two had together. Now that’s he’s single, your ex will also start to realize what he’s lost as he adjusts his lifestyle. In some cases, an ex may miss the relationship so bad that they want to get back together. But in most cases, the feeling of losing and missing someone during No Contact is temporary.

Here’s the thing, your ex will likely miss you during No Contact. He wants to relieve his feelings by reaching out to you. If you wish to respond and open up to your ex is up to you.

I would give your ex the silent treatment. I would not let his needs interrupt your healing process, as giving in may put you back in square one and keep you confused.

Be selfish when you’re going through No Contact. It’s time to stop letting your ex live rent-free in your brain. And just because he’s having a hard time forgetting about you doesn’t mean he has the right to call you anytime you want.

Set up your personal barrier and do what’s best for you.

RELATED: Is My Ex Thinking About Me During No Contact?

Is it too late to go no contact after begging?

No, it’s never too late to go No Contact after begging your ex. You can always restart the No Contact Rule. But if you have the habit of begging or giving into your ex during radio silence, then you need new strategies to contain yourself.

RELATED: Definitive Guide: The No Contact Rule

For the record, begging your ex to get back together is never the right solution. I understand that people have different reasons to want their ex back. But by begging your ex, you’ll never have the upper hand.

You’ll never get the respect.

Moving on sounds scary. Being alone is tough. But it would help if you considered what is best for you in your future. If your ex-boyfriend is a toxic person, then you’ll never be able to be happy and get what you want from the relationship. 

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