How To Make Your Ex Miss You Badly Without Trying

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Image and quote about a woman getting their ex's attention by not giving them theirs.

Trying to make your ex miss you badly? Let’s face it, relationships are hard. Men are difficult to understand. And even when a couple has everything going for them, things can fall apart.

Which is probably what happened to you and your old flame.

It’s also probably why you are now asking yourself (and me) how to make your ex miss you.

If you truly want to make someone miss you, there are small changes you can make that will help you instantly get your ex’s attention and show him what he’s missing out on.

This is what you want. Right?

I am going to teach you, how to make him miss you and want you back. As it should be – with lots of apologies and flowers if we do our job right!

It is an endeavor that starts with reminding him of what he has lost. Never forget what a catch you are. Your ex boyfriend was lucky to have you before and he will be lucky to have you again.

RELATED: Breakup Guide: How To Get Over A Breakup The Smart Way

1. Missing Your Life? Take Time Off And Let Go

Image and quote of a woman going on vacation to make their ex miss them.

You have to stay away from him and start your new life without him by your side.

Now, I know what you are thinking: “how do I make my ex miss me?” Look, you and I both know it’s not as simple as snapping your fingers and making it happen. If it were, you would have already done that.

But figuring out how to make your ex miss you is possible. And the good news is, it starts with a vacation, or a little pampering.

That’s right. You now have the perfect excuse to get out of dodge.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and a little distance between you and your ex boyfriend right now is exactly what the doctor ordered. If you want to get your former flame to miss you, you need to pack a bag and peace out.

Book a ticket somewhere you have always wanted to go. Cash in your PTO days at work. Plan on getting a new stamp on your passport. Call up some friends and propose a grand adventure.

It really doesn’t matter where you go – just that you go.

And that you post lots of photos online and brag to your friends about what a great time you are having.

Before you know it, the seeds will have been planted to make your ex miss you like crazy. And you will be having a blast building up a master plan. All by just having fun.

How Can I Make My Ex Miss Me If I Can’t Leave Town?

Do something fun, visit your friends, go to the movies, show him that your life hasn’t stopped.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Spend a day at the spa.
  • Go visit friends for a weekend getaway.
  • Start going to the gym and working on yourself.
  • Cross out one of your lifetime desires on your bucket list.

The goal is to get away from him. If you can’t get out of dodge, don’t contact him and spend a week regrouping.

Here’s what happens when you leave town after a breakup: word gets back to your ex boyfriend, who assumes you are already moving on. That ignites a touch of regret in him, as your former flame wonders whether he may have made a mistake in letting you go.

Which, for the record, he totally did.

The best part is that he now realizes you aren’t just waiting at home for him. He can’t call you up for a late night drunken bootie call, or decide he has changed his mind and beg to see you tomorrow. You are gone, and with that distance he realizes that you are currently out of reach.

It doesn’t matter that it isn’t permanent; this gives him a taste of what it would be like if that separation were final.

And trust me, he won’t like it.

Get My Guide To Survive Your Breakup: Breakup Is Over

How Did I Make My Ex Miss Me Effortlessly?

I’ve seen this one in action first hand. Years ago, when I split from my ex, I decided I deserved a vacation. I did it mostly for me, needing a bit of spiritual cleansing from the chaos that had been our ending.

So I booked a ticket to Thailand and took off halfway across the world all on my own. I was already gone by the time he heard about my adventure; one we had always talked about taking together.

Let’s just say that when I got home… there were a lot of frantic calls and texts waiting for me.

I broke his hold on me and did something for me. The texts and frantic calls were the icing on the cake; he was already dying for a way back into my life.

Because ironically, the best way to make him miss you, is to make him believe you have stopped missing him.

Boys are funny like that, fragile little egos in even the most burly of men.

RELATED: The No Contact Rule To Rule Your Next 30 Days Without Any Heartbreak

2. ​Make Your Ex Miss You With A Litte Coy

Image and quote of a woman staying strong and not thinking about their ex even if they miss their ex boyfriend.

A lot of women have the bad habit of wearing their hearts on their sleeves. To some extent, we can’t help it.

We love with full and adoring hearts, and often – that is what endears men to us in the first place. But in the midst of a breakup, when you are looking for ways to make him miss you, that vulnerability needs to be kept in check.

Let him be the vulnerable one for a little while.

Your internal thought process right now may be a steady stream of questions:

“Does my ex boyfriend miss me?”

“What will make my ex miss me?”

“Is my ex missing me as much as I miss him?”

But you want to keep those questions to yourself for now. I know it’s hard. I know that as women, we are wired to communicate.

You want to talk through your feelings with everyone you know – analyzing and rehashing the details of your breakup until you feel better.

But now is the time to play coy. Because if anyone knows that you are trying to figure out how to get him to want you back, that information will find its way to your ex in no time.

And as we’ve already discussed – you don’t want him to know that you miss him. Not now at least. He needs to think you are moving on, igniting in him the desire to win you back.

So cover that heart of yours up for just a little while and keep your cards close to your chest. You want to be the one in control here. Remember, it is him who should be missing you.

For the record, it is normal for you to spend nights wondering and worrying, wasting countless hours Googling how to make your ex boyfriend want you back.

Most women experience a similar state of grief and even single-mindedness at this point, so don’t chastise yourself for that.

In fact, get a journal and use that to document this emotional process. Just don’t let anyone else in on what you are currently feeling. Now is the time to put on a happy face and pretend all is well.

Think of it as faking it to make it; pretending you are just fine, until you actually are just fine.


3. Create A New You And Your Ex Will Come Knocking

Image and quote about focusing on what you can control and not thinking whether your ex misses you or not.

It’s time to get back to your life. You’re probably having the urge to jump at him and fall deeply in love again, but it’s not time yet.

You have taken your awesome vacation and put on a happy face. You haven’t shown up on his friends’ doorsteps begging, “Please, just make him miss me!” or pounded down his door and sobbed for another chance. You have held your head high and pretended like an Oscar winning actress.

The kind who doesn’t wind up in the tabloids, of course.

The point is, you have worked hard. And if you just hold tight a little longer, you will get to see the fruits of your labor.

It is right around this stage that a lot of women start to get nervous. They haven’t heard from their old flames yet, and they start to fear that they never will.

But just as you are reaching a point of desperation, he is reaching the height of missing you. I have seen it happen time and time again.

Breakups are basically a play for power, and if you can stick to the act just a bit longer… the power will be in your hands.

So stop. Stop staring at your phone and checking your text messages 100 times a day. Leave the damn thing at home if you need to.

Obsessing over his lack of communication won’t make him reach out any faster, it will just make you crazy. Get back to your life instead, remaining confident in the fact that he will eventually cave and call.

You can’t, by no means, make the first contact. Make him sweat until he breaks down.

RELATED: How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous And Desperate

4. Reel Your Ex Slowly With Texting

Image and quote of a woman texting her ex to make contact again.

After playing a bit of cat and mouse with your ex, you can finally agree to see him. This is where all of your hard work will finally pay off.

How do you start slowly? Texting.

Texting allows you to break the ice. You don’t need to be witty or hear his voice or laugh just yet. Instead, start with a simple text message:

Hey remember that time we went to….

I was wondering if you still have my….

You get the point. Make him think of a good moment that you two cherished, but don’t cave just yet. The goal is to make him think of the past and how special your relationship really was.

Once you get his attention, don’t be lightning fast to respond back to him; make him wait a bit. You want him to know he’s on your mind, but you don’t want to be available just yet.

It will come to the point where the two of you can finally see each other. When this happens, you’ll want to proceed to the actual in-person meeting.

RELATED: Text Your Ex Back: 7 Texts Your Ex Will Love To Hear From You

5. Finally, Make Your Ex Desire You

Wear an outfit you know he loves; one that will remind him of good times you used to have together. Smile when you see him, and share a warm and genuine hug.

Then, focus on being the girl he fell in love with.

Remember that girl? The one who, in the beginning of your relationship, was fun and easy-going?

Be her.

Leave the heavy stuff for later. Right now, you just want him to enjoy being around you.

And you know what? You want to enjoy being around him too.

The more you can remind him of that girl he used to love, the more your ex will start to fall for you again. Relationships are hard, and there will always be hurdles.

But learning how to tap back into those beginning stages of falling in love will help you to make things work this next time around.

So keep the relationship talk off the table and just have fun together for a little while. Keep your pants on while you’re at it; the two of you will be easing back into relationship territory before you know it.

And enjoy it. It’s not every day you get a do-over in falling in love!

How Can You Make Your Ex Miss You

So let’s recap the five steps to make your ex miss you without you trying.

  1. Missing Your Life? Take Time Off And Let Go
  2. Make Your Ex Miss You With A Litte Coy
  3. Create A New You And Your Ex Will Come Knocking
  4. Reel Your Ex Slowly With Texting
  5. Finally, Make Your Ex Desire You

Again, the key to your success is not to try anything fancy and tricky to fool your ex. Going out of town or focusing on your life is not an attempt to get your ex’s attention.

But it automatically makes your ex wonder what you’re up to when he doesn’t hear from you.

For now, be selfish and live your life. Every second you stop thinking about your ex is time passed that your ex will miss you.

Get My Guide On Dealing With Breakups: Breakup Is Over

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What To Read Next

126 replies on “How To Make Your Ex Miss You Badly Without Trying”

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me (obviously). Long story short, we dated for a year and a half before things were going downhill, constant fighting and even got physical. After he left me, he spiraled down a deep hole into drugs. A year later, he called me to tell me after the break up he got so deep into drugs and has put himself in rehab. He said he wanted to fix things and would do anything to not lose me again. He asked me to visit him in rehab for family weekend and attend classes and therapy with him. So I did. The day he got out, we started fighting constantly like he was the same person he was a year prior. We pushed through and things were going great for about two weeks until the fighting started again. 5 days ago, after a long night of fighting the night before, I came home to an empty house. All of his things were gone including the dog. I called and texted him with not response. Two days ago he said he would call me and e apologized for leaving without an explanation and said he just doesn’t want to do it anymore. So last night I called him after he agreed to talk and he didn’t answer so I drove to his house with hopes of speaking in person. He said he was at the bar and he would call me later and that I should have never went to his house without letting him know. After the bar, he said he was too drunk to talk and would like to meet with me tomorrow (today) to talk about it, but nothing I could say would change how he felt or make him change his mind. I asked then what for? He said we need to talk. So I cordially agreed. He said he would meet me at 9pm. At 8:45pm, he texted me saying he was out with his buddy and would call me when he’s through. At 10:30pm, he said he would call me when he got home. At 11:00pm, he was on Facebook posting up a storm with still no call or initiative to meet up. At 11:30, I texted, “No need to call. You’ve said and shown me enough.” He read my text and went back on Facebook. At 12:30am, he blocked me on ALL social media. At 1:00am, I texted him, “Thank u for showing me your true colors… With all your lies and broken promises… Your rejection and lack of faith in me… You never gave me the time or opportunity to make changes… And now you show just how low you’ll go just to prove how much you don’t care about me… After telling me you’ll do anything not to lose me again and that you’ll always care and never turn your back on me.” No response. What do I do? I suffer from depression, anxiety, and obsessive compulsive behaviors. My mind is constantly racing, even suicidal thoughts. I don’t know what to do. I love him more than anything in the world and I wanted to change in any way he wanted me to and didn’t expect him to leave so suddenly. Please advise.

Hey, my boyfriend broke up with me just a week ago and i have been following the no contact rule. He said he wanted to be single and wanted freedom. I don’t know if it is just me but i feel like he still cares. But he is cold to me right now. We go to the same school but not the same class. He eats his lunch infront of me.
What should i do ?
Can I get him back ?
I really love him.

Hey, my ex and I broke up 2 years ago. We got back together for 2/3 months and we mutually ended again. However, I’m not sure it’s right. He found it really hard to let go of some things and he was quite mean to me sometimes but I always let it slide. This made him feel guilty and he couldn’t live with that. So ultimately we ended bc he didn’t feel he could treat me well and he should let me go. The last contact was me angrily telling me how horrible he was and I said I thought we hadn’t tried properly, I sent a lot of ‘psycho’ messages. Obviously wrong thing to do. Do I still have a chance. We agreed to talk in a few days but maybe I just leave it? I’m just worried that he’ll never approach me for reconciliation bc he wants me to move on and he thinks he’s doing me justice by letting me go

Thanks so much

Hello, I’m not sure if people still respond to this since I’ve never done this before but I decided to give this a shot. I have dated a ton of guys and I have been in love twice and when a guy cheats on me or breaks up with me with lame excuses, I just jump back into the dating pool. I met someone I never thought I would meet. We had such a strong connection. His friends liked me and his mom did too which was a huge plus for me. We have only dated for a month and he just broke up with me recently. I’m open with my feelings but he never told me what was bothering him and what I was doing that would make him upset. I absolutely had no idea until he decided to just break things off. He told me a variety of reasons why and he broke up with me because I was being a bit possessive and controlling. I haven’t really done that before. One of his friends told me he liked that but apparently I found out wrong. His friends doesn’t like me anymore because of something that happened at a party, they were playing UNO and I stopped because their rules were different from the way I play and so they hate me because of that. Also, they doesn’t like me because I would message them about my now ex boyfriend and I didn’t know they didn’t like that, they didn’t tell me either. Another reason is his mom doesn’t like me either because of my past and told him that after it doesn’t work out, I go after a guy to another guy, repeat a cycle and he said he isn’t sure how he feels. We never said “I love you” to each other but we really like each other. We have a lot of fun together inside and outside of the bedroom. He pinky swore we can be friends and still do things together but I just find that awkward since we’ve seen all of each other. I have only let my shadow chase me once and it didn’t work out at all. Which is why I go from guy to guy to let go and forget about my real feelings. Deep down what he doesn’t know is that I am in love with him and I thought if I told him it’d scare him and he asked me if I was and I lied and said it’s too early to tell and we were still getting to know each other, I’m sorry I can’t say it. He said the same that it would scare him in such little time as we have known each other. I honestly doesn’t know what I should do at this point. He said we give friends a shot and see what happens there, time will tell, who knows maybe we end up together. I messaged him first yesterday and we have plans to see each other next week to see a movie, I don’t know how to react when I see him. The first time I didn’t chase my own shadow, it was online and when he came back, he manipulated me. This situation is different, we never cheated on each other but I also kept questioning if he is interested in someone else since I’ve gotten my heart broken so many times and I also would occasionally look over his shoulder. I knoW I sound like a bad crazy person, but I’m really not. I just want one person back and that’s him. I am no longer dating other guys, chasing after my shadow because I really want him to come back to me and for second time let my shadow chase me.
How can I still show I miss/care/love him like a lover but act like a friend?

Hi,my bf broke up with me on 15th December.we were together about 1 yrs.he was so caring but he tried to cheat on me once.but in last 3 months he suffered alot for my misbehave. I said sorry and told him that i won’t do that again with him..i ll work on my anger. But he didn’t want to continue anymore and want to date another girl..he said i have nothing beautiful in me and insulated me everyway..till then i am continuing no contact the middle of this brkup he called me once at night.i took his call but he was silent and then cutted his call.i want him back but i dont want to beg infront of him…but i think he lost all the love he used to have for me… please ignore my English and help

My ex boyfriend and I dated for 2 years. I was his first real relationship and then we broke up because he kissed another girl and was texting her. I expected him to beg for forgiveness but instead he just said he didn’t want a relationship anymore. About a week went by and I saw him again and he said he missed me and wanted us to remain friends. Around 3 days later we got back in a relationship suggested by me because we were still actin good like a couple. For about 2 weeks things were perfect but he kept saying he felt bad like he didn’t deserve to be with me and that he felt he would hurt me again. Sure enough he did. He broke up with me saying he was unhappy and just didn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone and basically wanted to be free to do whatever. The next day I found out he had cheated the night before he broke up with me. We didn’t talk for about 1 1/2 weeks and then we spoke saying he wanted to sill hangout and be friends. We hung out 2x and started sleeping together while he was sleeping with another girl. He still would send me goodmorning texts, say he missed me, come spend the night even without sex, and sending mixed signals. After a while he would only spend the night with the girl 1-2 week and the rest of the days he would be with me. We still went to do activities together and still bought each other food during he day. While with her he never saw her unless it was at night and didn’t do those things with her. After a while I. Got upset because we basically acted like a couple so why not just be back together but he didn’t want to so we agreed to try and be friends. About a week later of us strictly being friends (but still commenting on who the other person was texting) I found out I was pregnant but was getting an abortion. He then distanced himself from me a lot and my parents told his parents about it and he blamed me. He told me he never wanted to speak to me again because it was clear that I wanted to be with him later on but he doesn’t ever want to be in a relationship with me again. A couple days later he said he didn’t have feelings for me anymore and wanted to be there for me because he loves me but just as a friend. He hasn’t blocked me on anything and I feel I text or call him he answers. I took him off my social media but it’s public and I can see that he still views everything I post. I don’t know if I even want him back but I do know I want him to want me like he use to and I want him to regret ever treating me like this.

My ex and I broke up two months ago. Maybe a month and a half in he stopped checking my snap chats. I hated that we were friends on social media platforms because it made it hard for me to move on. We broke up suddenly. Everything was fine, one argument, he pulled away and emotionally checked out so we broke up. I ran into him at a bar a month later and he ignored me. I felt so uncomfortable. I sent him a text the next day (first text since we broke up) telling him that I’m not intentionally trying to act like a stranger in public, I just didn’t know what to do and as much as I wanted to go up to him it was too hard for me but that I’d always be glad to see him. Anyway I got no response from that text and I thought I was being respectful, honest and kind. I feel like this means he wants me to leave him alone…he also may have found out I was dating someone because the guy I was dating works with people he knows. Who knows. I can’t get a read on him and I have no closure from this

Hiya, me and my boyfriend were together for nearly 6 years, we broke up one time before about two years ago for 8 months (his decision cause of family pressure) but he came back to me nd we were going strong for another 2 years or so. We had the usual problems and arguments but other than that, we were amazing together. About a month we started to be really weird with each other nd he stopped texting me and said he needed space and all and I gave him all that and then out of the blue about two weeks ago he told me he doesn’t love me anymore nd wanted to break up which shattered me but I could still feel and tell that he still does love me. When we broke up, I didn’t beg him to stay, I let him go nd wished him the best in a mature mannernd, he was really surprised. I’m not to sure what to do cause I love him and want to be back with him, I haven’t texted or talked to him since the break up but I can see he still checks my snapchat, Facebook and Instagram. His friend told me he was doing ok with the break up and that made me so sad knowing he was fine without me. What should I do? What steps should I take to get him back? Please help!

Its been 5 months since me and my ex broke up, i want him to miss me and want me again but i dont know how? I want to have a second chance but he wont allow that, i want to make him jealous

My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago because he’s stressed out from work and his family issues. He says I don’t help and that right now is not a good time for us after 4 years. We talked after he break up and he size he does love me and care about me and maybe there’s a future for us but not right now. That he will always be there for me when I need him and that I can call him and go over his house whenever, but that he needs space and time to think. He also broke up with me via text so when I asked him to tell me to my face he said he couldn’t and started to cry. I’m trying my hardest to not contact him right now, trying to stay busy with school and focus on myself but it’s hard when all I want to do is go over his house and just see his face. honey me and my boyfriend just split off and i found out hes with another girl. i saw them walking and laughing. i dont know what happen coz before he really loves me and he always told me before that he’ll be crazy if i broke up with him. now.i dont know.what happen. i want him.back. how can i get him back?

We broke up before a month because we used to argue alot so he said its better to be separated than fight everyday and we agreed to this.(we both still love each other)
The first many days were normal , like good morning texts ..texting wheneve he gets time..msgng me that ‘i’m home’ and etc but eventually it all stopped. And no ..he is not doing it on purpose, i realized that its not like ‘i dont want to msg her’ , it’s simply that i am not on his he wouldn’t remember me for days until for example i changed my dp so he will remember that i exist and msg like nothing happend.
Confronting him doesnt lead to anything coz he says i was busy or any other excuse **he just doesnt see that as a big deal** **i am like any other friend in his life that he would talk to after ages and day hi hello talk and disappear again**
What shall i do to be on his mind again or to get his attention back or … ugh you got my point yea?
*we are in diff cities now
*he has always been flirty
Like i get happy when he msgs me at 2 am but then i find out that he has msgd 2 other girls too..which makes me feel like any other girl
*he does love me ..but what do all this mean?

me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. We started dating when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore in College. He was nice and sweet but things just slowly getting bad. We started having fights over little things, but we always resolve them before sleep or at least by the next day. He is about to graduate and is very worry about his future since he is an international students. His parents want him to stay in the U.S. in any ways. His parents does not like me because they think I cannot help him and think i am having a bad temper. His dad even tell him to break up with me before graduation. He always have a long talk with his dad on Saturday night, and I always wanted to know what they talked about since I do not understand their language. I feel like I have been trying my best to help him in life and be a good partner. I do know that sometimes I get mad easily, but I let it go pretty quick. I do not think I have a problem staying with him, but at the same time, I cannot just ignore his parents. It does not makes me feel happy or secure by know his parents always want us to break up. I have been feeling confused and I really hope there is someone can tell me what to do

I met this guy which started out as friends then turned to us being fuck buddies. That went in for about 2 years and finally after realising other boys were attracted to me he asked me out.. I being so In love with him already said yes.
About a month into the relation ship he cheated on me twice with the same girls. He didn’t tell me about it until 5 days later and I actually found the condom, I asked he just said at first he masturbated into it then ended up telling me he cheated once. I forgave him cause I thought he only did it once.
Two weeks later I found out it was acc twice. From then on I just couldn’t trust him but yet I still stayed with him for another two years. We fell pregnant but he pressured me into getting rid of it. And well between all this time he would flirt leave me for other girls.
We ended up breaking up because he couldn’t take me shouting at him for all the things he was doing with other girls.
About a week later he was dating another girl for about a year. They’ve been broken up now for about 4 months and well we’ve kinda been seeing each other again and even now after everything he’s still being the same sly person he was before and all the I have a great life, friends and family I just can’t seem to stop loving him so much. Yet I have dated other guys who where way better. I really don’t know what to do and I’ve never wrote on anything thing like this but I just needed too.

Have a nice evening

I had a relation with me last two week before dated 16th march,2016….Our relation was running very smoothly…I had dating with with him too..One day he asked help from me. He said he has no money.He need money. i said i dont have now as i am a student.i am not earning.. but u r earning. why u need money? he said – he took 10000 from his friend for repairing his mobile now he has to return because his friend is asking his money back. but i failed to help him. i was able to giv him only 1000 rupees.. one day he asked me to recharge his mobile for 250 rupees.. that day we had a fought….i told him that i cannot help u..i think u r using me.if its like that than return my 1000 rupees back when u get your salery.. this line hurt him alot..he was saying me that he was not using me. he loves me alot so he was asking help from me..he said me that i was tonting him..maine use zaleel kiya hai,maine use hurt kiya hai only 1000 rupees k liye…he said that i broked his heart… but when he went away from me on 10 april 2016, i realised that may be his heart was true for me, he was hurt,so he was not talking to me,,,, plezzz suggest me how to bring back my love.. i love him alot.. wo mujse naraj hai sirf 1000 rupees k liye jo maine usko tont kiya tha,zaleel kiya tha baar baar ,hurt kiya tha maine usko jab maine usko bola tha that u r using me…. now how can i take back my words…i apolozed him,asked sorry to him….usko meri words hurt hua hai….so help me out..

hi .i met a guy through matrimony site we start talking and fall in love we met once officially and other meeting unofficially then his parents said thr is no astrological compatibility between both of us and break that mariage thing .. after that i talked to that guy abt a month after being ignored i got some self respect and cut off all contact fom him after about 45 days it was his bday i wishd him through text and he replied me thanks msg . after few days i had some serious wrk officially i asked him he replied in the same official tone .. after that 12 days later i wrote an email to him that i accepted we will not be together i have good memories of you blah blah .. bt he didnt replied till now.. is thr any chances to get him back i really love him ..

Hye, I’m a girl from Belgium and I’m really desperate. I’ve searched on multiple websites for some answers but didn’t find a really good answer of what to do now. I’m sorry for my English, this is not my mother language so I will try.

I have/had a boyfriend for 3 months now. Before him I had a relationship for about 3,5 years. I broke this of to be with the man I’m in love with right now. My boyfriend had a relationship of 4 years and broke it of to be free. He had always been kind of a nerd and after his break up he had a taste of a life full of party, woman, friends and attention wich was very new to him until he met me after 3 months of partying and going out. We where totally in love and it immediately clicked and after the second date we started a relationship. Everything went great, he introduced me to his parents, his friends and he even planned a future with me but he was still going out 4 times a week until very early in the morning. I went with him to party once a week but the other days he rather go with his friends alone. I didn’t see him very much but he tried to give me enough attention wich was very difficult for him.

Yesterday he acted really wierd and asked me if we could go for a drink. My heart sank and I knew there was something wrong… He told me that he really loved me but that he couldn’t bare to not go to parties and have attention from friends, women,… He said he didn’t knew what to do with himself because he was torn between two worlds. Me and his party life and single life. He said he thought it would pass by when he met me but it became sort of an addiction to party and drink alcohol and have attention from everyone. He felt like everything went to fast for him. He cried and felt really desperate and was angry at himself for having this feeling. He said he was scared that he would hurt me in the future and that he didn’t want this to happen. He also didn’t want to lose our relationship and didn’t know what to do with himself. He wants me but he also want party and single life and he can’t have both. My boyfriend is someone that isn’t really much of a talker so for him to be honest with me was a really big step. He never was honest with his ex girlfriends but with me it was different he said. He wished he had met me a year later so he have had enough time to be free and enjoy the single life. But he is now to much invested in me to just break of the relationship. He needed time to think and find out what he really wants.

He also said that I was to easy in our relationship. I never set boundary’s for him so he didn’t have a stop on his behavior. I never said anything about other woman or about his partylife. I just let it happen because I was to scared to lose him. I know that was maybe very stupid but I couldn’t help it. So he thinks I’m a little to soft in some situations. I think that’s maybe the reason why he needs attention from other women. I’m maybe to obvious and to easy. He knows I will never leave him.

We decided to have a break in our relationship and slow down everything so he could decide what he wants to do. I don’t know how te feel right now and I’m really really sad :( ! I feel like I’m sort of second choice. I don’t know if I have to use the no contact rule on him because he is not really my ex already… I try use the no contact rule but I don’t know if this is the right way to make him want me because we are not really broken up yet. Please I need some advice of what to do with this situation because I’m really desperate and hurt.

It’s okay to give each other time and space apart. If you feel your ex has other things on his mind, let him figure things out. While he’s doing so, just be supportive and worrying about the “relationship”. Be in the moment with him and let him know you’re there for him.

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Hi charice! its been 2 months since my ex broke up with me. when he broke up with me i’m begging and pleading on him for about 1 week. bcoz i dont want him out of my life. i tried na no contact rule but still he doesn’t make an attempt to contact me. i thought he’s finally moved on 1 month ago since i stop contacting him. we’re studied at the same school. everytime i look at him secretly i catch him looking at me too but i dont think that he still want me. i thought he dont want me any more the reason he broke up with me is becoz, i hurt him so much we fight and my words hurt him i’m so angry on that time i said sorry but he didn’t accept it we talk on wednesday he gave me my books and after that nothing happens. do you think he still loves me? is there a chance to get him back?

Hi, please help me

I have a question, I was together with a guy in what we called FWB but it was so much more,we weren’t friends before this all, we spoke everyday we cuddled, we even said the I love you 6 months in . But two weeks later he said That he cares for me deeply and loves me but he has never been in love with me. he says it can’t happen, for it only happens at first sight, since he had that with his ex(his only relationship and time he actually loved someone, lasted 4 years). He truly thinks he tried but its not possible but he never tried because we never truly did anything outside the bedroom that could bond us.

It may sound like he is a horrible guy but he is super sweet and caring. we broke up last week because he was scared of hurting me more and more. I know that its not that he didn’t find me attractive, because he truly did that, and I was super sweet and caring for him, he told me I deserve better, but I only want him! Im trying the no contact now and im on day 4, and its really hard. He thinks the distance is difficult since he works an hour from where I live, he sleeps at his work since he is in the military and in the weekends I go home from uni and we are only 25Min apart, and especially as he got his own place and is struggling with the costs a little, so maybe that also one of the reasons.

He said he wants something serious but he needs to fall in love at first sight. I just want him back so badly because we are amazing together, and he and i are both what we look for in our perfect match, but will no contact work? he just need to realise what he is missing, while we where together he even joked that if we ever broke up he would message me in probably month because he would miss me :( just so scared that he won’t :(

Hi, please help me

I have a question, I was together with a guy in what we called FWB but it was so much more,we weren’t friends before this all, we spoke everyday we cuddled, we even said the I love you 6 months in . But two weeks later he said That he cares for me deeply and loves me but he has never been in love with me. he says it can’t happen, for it only happens at first sight, since he had that with his ex(his only relationship and time he actually loved someone, lasted 4 years). He truly thinks he tried but its not possible but he never tried because we never truly did anything outside the bedroom that could bond us.

It may sound like he is a horrible guy but he is super sweet and caring. we broke up last week because he was scared of hurting me more and more. I know that its not that he didn’t find me attractive, because he truly did that, and I was super sweet and caring for him, he told me I deserve better, but I only want him! Im trying the no contact now and im on day 4, and its really hard. He thinks the distance is difficult since he works an hour from where I live, he sleeps at his work since he is in the military and in the weekends I go home from uni and we are only 25Min apart, and especially as he got his own place and is struggling with the costs a little, so maybe that also one of the reasons.

He said he wants something serious but he needs to fall in love at first sight. I just want him back so badly because we are amazing together, and he and i are both what we look for in our perfect match, but will no contact work? he just need to realise what he is missing, while we where together he even joked that if we ever broke up he would message me in probably month because he would miss me :( just so scared that he won’t :(

I have been dating this guy for almost a year. We started having problems and he decided to break up with me. According to him , he needed some alone time and wasn’t ready to commit to the relationship. I cried my heart out and decided to try the no contact rule. he texted me but I didn’t reply he called too but I didn’t answer. I haven’t heard from him since that day and it looks like he has deleted my number on his phone because I can’t see him on whatsapp. It’s been two months and still haven’t heard from him. I still love him despite everything and want him back. Please help

Your ex is right when he said he needs some alone time and wasn’t ready to commit. You should respect that. Try to understand what his current priorities are and be supportive. But do this only when you’re “ready” to start a new relationship with him. What did you do during your No Contact phase?

Me and my boyfriend been dating for 10 months . Just yesterday and all last week we have been arguing and fighting, he told me he wasn’t over his ex they dated since teenagers and been together for 6 years but she kept cheating on him so he broke up and he still have feelings for her and still loves her including still have pictures of her in a envelope. So I left and told him you shouldn’t still love someone that cheated on you throughout the whole relationship and doesn’t love you back and moved on with her life. He left to his brothers house after I told him I was moving out. His mom kept telling me just give him time let him miss you I know my son I know he still loves you. Then minutes later he text his mom and said he wish he could of see me leave and say goodbye, why didn’t he do that before he left to his brothers house im so confused and hurt I wish I can help him move on from his ex and show him how much I love him I cry every day

My boyfriend and I dated long distance for 11 months until I moved in with him, in a different country. I was unable to work there without a work visa, and was alone a lot during the work week when everyone else had jobs. We fought sometimes, often when alcohol was involved about foolish things. Never did we fight without it… It normally was me, and the stress just got to me after a few glasses of wine. He broke up with me 6 months after moving in with him, after I had been going through the stressful process of getting my nursing license there. He said he couldn’t take the fighting and that he wasn’t ready to make a lifetime commitment. I was completely shocked, devastated right before the holidays. He tore my heart out, and I had to move back home, to my country, where I left everything behind all ready, a job, my apartment. I am living with my parents now, and don’t know what to think. What do I do? I truly love him. His entire family was shocked, as were mine. His parents both messaging me that they did not see this happening. I thought we were going to get engaged soon, not break up.

My ex and I split up 5 months ago very quickly after he got into a new relationship once I found out I accused him of cheating and he immediately cut off all contact and blocked me from any social media. He recently unblocked me on fb I noticed he was still with this new girl so blocked him. I want him back what can I do? What are his reasons for unblocking me?

My ex disappeared on me. Did not end it or anything, just stopped contacting me after he went back home (long distance relationship). It took everything in me not to call or text him. I prayed that he made it home safely but knew deep down that he was blowing me off. I didn’t know what to make of it. He was my best friend. I cried for months but moved on in life.

I met someone else after I healed and forgot about him. 2 years later, he contacted me. I politely responded and he started up a texting conversation. Eventually he told me that he wished he never let me go, he made a mistake. Told him it was too late, I’d moved on. He pleaded. I told him that when he abandoned me he just proved to me that I could live without him.

It felt sooo good to be over him. To this day, he texts me on every holiday and my bday all the time. I will never go back to him again. The feelings are gone, I’ve learned that there is better.

But it’s very true, absence makes their hearts grow fonder. Move on, live your life, and let them deal with their decision. If they’re lucky, you’ll want to deal with them again when they return.

Hi! Me and my boyfriend were together for 8 months but we secretly liked each other for 4 years. We broke up 7 months ago and we ended things because he said he didn’t feel the “spark” anymore. A week after the break up I asked him if there was any way that we could try to fix things and he said no. It’s been 7 months and I got myself together I lost weight, reached some of my goals and became a stronger confident version of myself. I had completely tried to forget about him because during this time while I was trying to be friendly around him at school because we are partners for sertain clubs he was completely cold and hateful when it came to me. Anyways I thought I moved on but lately I heard that he was regretting his decision to end things and he wishes that he would’ve accepted to trying to work on our relationship. He has feelings for me still but he doesn’t want to. He said he wanted to move on but he still cared about me and had feelings for me. He decided to talk to me and to try to be friendly and I’m usually friendly to anyone and everyone so things were good and then a week later he got a girlfriend. what’s going on? Why cant he just try and give us another chance when he himself said he wished he would’ve fixed things and had us together again? Why did he all of a sudden hop on this girl? Is this new girlfriend a rebound? How can I help get us back together? I was thinking about going through no contact unless necessary and then become his friend again when things get rough for him. What would u recomend? (I’ll say this now I have no intentions on interfering with their relationship.)

It seems like you are waiting and hoping for “things” to happen. You know all this information about how he feels (towards you) and what he’s up to. If he knows that you’re slightly interested, he may not approach you to get back together. Truth is, it’s too easy for him that he feels he can come and go whenever he wants with your feelings. Remember, you two secretly liked each other for 4 years before being together. There was a challenge there. Now, that “spark” is gone. What you need to do is show him that you’ve moved on. If he feels like he’s losing you, then he might “try” to ask you for a second chance in which you’ll be ready to accept.

I started dating a male colleague for more than 6months now,literally he begged and wooed me constantly before I gave in because I don’t do office romance and I hardly fall in love but somehow this dude broke those boundaries I set,I loved him ,he told me he broke up with his gurl cos she is uncontrollable and he does not have feelings for her again ,I told him to go sort tinx out w her,he sed it was ova,so he wants me,I agreed to date him,our sex life was the bomb,we had this connection,we talk on fone always,chat 247,most tyms he initiates contact,we cud stay 2geda talk for hrs w/o gettn bored 4months lerra,buh my intuition was teln me he s dating someone else,probably d so called girl e sed s an ex cos I saw some red flags,then I noticed in lyk out of 7days n a wk,mayb in a certain day he may stay long hrs w/o contact only for him to contact lerra n start beggn dt e was busy w errand,oda biz ,etc,buh my instincts didn’t buy day,e swore I was d only one e was seeing,e cals regularly,text n promise me he won’t let busy schedules mk m nt to care,we had so many fights as partners ,i made it clear to him dt i cant accept a guy dt cheats on me back,e sed e wont dt e values d relatnship and dont wanna lose me dats y e kips comin bk after i dump him n snub him even hurl words at him so he cud Go I av dumpd him many tyms n told him I can b fyn without him cos I won’t accept 1/2 treatment, I nid to feel he respects nt a booty call tin,he always com beggin, I ignore him,start no contact he cud nt tk doze silent treatment, so e coms bk again begging,last 2wks I tuk him bk after so many reassurance,one 9t e didn’t cal b4 sleepn as we used to talk bfor slipn,I cald ,s line was unavailable, buh d oda line was available buh I kept gerrin response “busy”,d nxt morn,I cald no response,I chattd n txted,no response,apparently ,I am nt d clingy type or d stalker kinda diva,e mks most of d contact, so I went to his crib dt early morn only for me to c anoda chick ,meanin d chick don’t d nyt,I acted chic,I sed Hi 2 d chick,my guy was stunned to c me ,e was stuttering at d door,sayn buh I can’t go n someone s insyd,I sed who?and brushd him asyd n got n ,he nw sed luk at hw I barged into his crib n pushd m away ,I told him I went out on an errand so decided to chk on him since e sed e was sick and don’t I av any ryt to com to his crib,so e sed nurin n sed I shud sit ,so I told him won’t e introduce d gurl to me,he introduced us just with our names,so I chippd in,s she ur sista ,e ignored d question n sed ,I shud relax since am hia nw,I askd who s she. E cud nt talk (,liter ally d gurl n him share d same language n relatnship,but we al are from d same country. )so d gurl startd spkn dia native language to him wen e refusd to ansa d questn I askd him )so finally e sed. K she s my gurl,I chuckled ur girl?so who am I to u e sed,u are m gurl,and I giggled o am ur gurl 2 ,so dd startd talkn to him again,so she told me don’t mind him,am nt jus his gurl am his fiancee,I sed wow,she sed de are gettn married ,i askd her wen and she sed she does nt kno,dt i shud ask him and she startd spkn dia dialect to him because he does nt want to introduce her properly,so she told him in English so am ur gurl,nt ur fiancee, d guy nw sed ok u are my fiancee,so i told dgurl evrytn about me n d guy,dat we dating nt jus avn sex ,d guy cud nt deny it n my presence,he didnt dsrespect in front of her or shut me up or evn try to throw me out lyk some guys wud,he jus stayd mute n shame n confusion,d gurl nw startd scolding him n dia dialect whch i dont understand,so de were arguing,d gurl nw interpreted it and told me d guy sed he does not have any tin to do wt me dt she is important to him,so i lukd him n d face lyk can u spk english n tel me u we ad no relatnshp togeda,e went dumb,i am sure e didnt kno d oda woman wil interprete wat de sed and d gurl told me didn’t he tel me he has a woman,I sed no,dt he sed he broke up with d woman cos she s difficult,d lady startd teln me he has no regards for her ,if nt he won’t cheat on her repeatedly dt de v bn togeda sinc yrs,dt she s stil wt him afta d bullshitn dsrespct cos she does nt kno if d nxt guy she decides to date wil b beta,so she decided to kip praying he changes,she sed she has heard about me ,she knos about me n his neighbours av cald her b4 d day I came to c him,she sed d guy as little regards for her dt wen de are 2geda al e does s to b busy wt his fone chattn evn late at nyt (I can recap dt wen I am wt ds guy e pays less attntn to his fone,e focuses on jus me )so I felt for her n told her I Neva knew e as a woman ,if nt I won’t date a man who s attached to anoda gurl,I told her I av Neva seen her face or evn her dp on his social apps.I slapped him n held his shirt ,e was begging me,den e told us to sit down e wants us al to talk,e sed e s apologising to two of us and e knos he as wronged us ,it triggered anger in d oda woman,she also slappd him and de were arguing n dia dialect,I was nw d one beggn DM nt to create a scene n she told me b4 de fight evn wit knife,dt e kips cheatn n dsrespct her dt e does nt luv her,so d gurl wantd to leave d rum for us,I stopd her to stay dt dia s no nid for any discussion with the guy if she is not dia.bcos am thru wt him,I pikd my bag to leave n d guy sed e wants to c me off,I told him nt to follow no way dt d gurl must follow us if e wants to escort me,d gurl refused.I warned the guy Neva to contact me ,that he cud e b a cheat ,so many lies e as dished to me and d other lady,I told him I will hit him if e tries to communicate wt me in our office,we work together so we c regularly and all he does is to keep staring at me ,but I don’t give him any friendly face ,I just act like he is invincible,after I left his crib that day,i blockd him on my social network on my way om, s a week today ,e as nt cald,texted.Is e scared or ashamed to stand me,was e using me all along?I won’t take him back anyway,jus curious tho?

I was depressed i want him but i dont want to sound desperate. My relationship with him is the best rel ever i had . Im scared what if he never call me no.more … he said im.glad yove moved on and happy your successful from.our ashes

Don’t be scared. Your insecurities and desperation will make him pull away more. You need to build on yourself and find that confidence you once had. Your happiness and future is not dependent of your ex but is something you own that you want to share with someone.

I miss my ex so bad ..ilove him but i donr know ..before he went to ail . 1 month.ago we fight too bad been broken up like 1 month before he went to jail i begged abd cry but nothing happened. He clearly want to be friends we hug and kiss but not same as before. He went out from.jail and txted me .. that hes out but he said i dont think you understand how wrong you are accusing me i wont lst youtreatme or i wont let u in my life again . He stills blame me. Now its 1 week i dont call or text either. But i do love him

Hi Charice,I need your help here!Me and my ex bf dated for a couple of weeks and I broke up with him a few weeks ago because I was having some personal problems at the moment,and I had to break up with him when I was still liking him.He told me he needed time to think about what just happened sounding all sad,but later 4 days after we broke up I found out that he started dating again putting his dating date on his profile name on his social media.1 week after he started dating he texted me asking me some weird questions like if he was trying to grab my attention,but that same day I noticed that probably the new relationship he started had ended due to the change in his profile name.But again he’s been acting all weird putting some “I love you”quotes on his profile.Please help me get him back!Cause I’m 100% sure I’m ready to have a relationship with no personal problems!Sorry If I wrote too much.

If your ex needs time to think about things, just let him be. You have to show him that you’ve changed rather than telling him you’re a new person.

Hello my ex and I dated 2 yrs &lived together started arguing more till finally he said he can’t do this anymore we’re not happy. He’s sending me mixed signals. Sends me pictures of us then he says we just need time apart right now that things won’t change over night. And he needs time ti himself. We have been broken up almost 2 months now. He says just do me that he doesn’t wanna string me along. How can he say all that then when we’re together it’sso good and chemistry Is still there my emotions are all over the place. What should I do

Give your ex the time and space he wants. He’s probably emotionally unavailable and wants to work out his priorities. Don’t get caught up with all the mixed signals. He’s just being a guy and focusing on what’s important for him now. You should do the same for yourself.

Hello Charice,
I am kinda obsessing over my boyfriend breaking up with me. We have been together for 3.5 years. First yr, i broke up so many times thinking it may not work because coming from strict culture and family. Once I decided that I am commited to him, and will not back down and stay. i stuck to my word. My broke up with me last year, saying he doesnt think it may work, he needed space. I was still his friend, and was staying positive around him and he came back.

This time, I admit I have been clingy towards him, alot of stuff happening wiht my family. But we had a wonderful bond, we connect and love amazing. But lately, we have been having it rocky, so many fights etc. and slowly i was depending on him for my emotions etc. So slowly he started to become standoffish alittle. I would ask him whats wrong. he would not communicate and then I would see he is unhappy. I tried everything, crying, being nice, smoothering, yelling, nuturing, caring etc. but one day we would just fight and again and again because he was unable to communicate with me the thoughts in his mind and i would get frustrated asking him why he is being such way and it will fire up.
and now, he told me he wanted space at first, and i gave him few days then he messaged me saying we need more time apart, we dont love the same etc and fights have been draining. He wanted to find whats making him unhappy and stop relying on me to make him feel better. he said he is searching for what makes him happy and he doesnt know if in the end, his happiness will be with me or not. but at same time he was pointing all the stuff I do wrong like where I come from, how I sleep early, not spend friday night etc. he said he wanted to stay friends. if he finds him what makes him happy, and it has nothing to do with me, he will come back otherwise no. I was willing to give him space yet I asked to see if he wanted to set our relationship aside and stay commited. but he said he didnt want to commit and he wants to do this on his own and priortize. I told him i dont wana stay friends and he said okay..I miss him alot, i havent talked to him for 2 days..he deleted my pictures from Instagram..i look at my phone every hour. its so unhealthy…he said he loves and me cares about me..but he has to priotize himself and figure himself out and dont know if being with me will make him happy. =/

I tried everything, his friends say i was sucha good positive influence on him..I dont know if hes ever going to come back around like last time =/ Im trying no contact rule, and post picture of having dinner here and there so he’s seeing im okay without him..I just want him to come to me. i want him to miss me and see how much our relationship bloomed his life. hes being so selfish =/

You guys have broken up too many times that I think it’s a good idea to give each other some time and space to reflect. Your ex clearly has some things to figure out on his own, so let him be. It’s unhealthy for you two to keep going like this. So take some time off for yourself to see what you really want. He has the right to be selfish because he wants to be 100% sure that he can be there for you if you guys get back together.

Hi, i am the last person who commented… When he came back those three days he contacted m because somone told him i might me going out with somone ( which i wasn’t) and he texted me telling me how could i do that to him and that he was heart broken and that is when he came back and we got back togeter until the job problem. So this is why i think there could still be a chance he still loves me.
I also have a question; there is a lady at my job that knows him and her husband talks to my ex every now and then… Should i use her to tell her things so she can tell him so he can get jealous or at least worry about loosing me? I initiated the NC the same day he gave me the ultimatum so i havnt texted him at all. Its been hard but i will be strong and follow anythig you say here. Please help. I want him back. Sorry this is so long .

It’s hard to give a guy an ultimatum when he’s got other priorities in mind. In this case, his job that’s on the line. You need to lean back and have trust that this man will take care of you. If he doesn’t have a job, how will he be able to provide?

Hi, my situation is different. My ex and i were dating about four years ago and we broke up he left me. I had another boyfriend and got pregnant and had a baby, after the baby was born apparently the guy wasnt ready and we broke up. During the pregnancy my ex contacted me several times and i always rejected him (he knew i was l pregnant and still told me he would raise the child as his own cuz he loved me and wanted me back. That was a year after he left me. We got back together and he always wanted a baby with me ever since the first time we were together. Well, i got pregnant and we decided to have this baby and now i am 22 weeks pregnant And we had been having problems because we started arguing and i guess my pregnancy hormones too. the arguments were both our faults and he says he got tired and left. In the beginning i begged after 3 weeks of no contact from my side he texted me and i started begging for him back. 3 more weeks after that he came back sayinf how much he loved me and that he wanted to stay with me forever because he couldnt live without me everything was going perfect( better than ever) because i realized that i do love him and i wouldnt even argue about anything. Then he called me one morning 3 days after we were together again and gave me an ultimatum that i either accepted a job he got ( which i told him i wouldnt accept when we got back together) or it was over. I didnt even respond because of how rude he told me. I was in shock. Its been 5 days of this and i never texted or called him again. He has not either. Do you think he will come back? Is there any chance of us getting back together? What should i do?

Hi. really love the advise in your post but I have a really complicated situation that I’m in and would love to talk to you about it. Can you PLEASE help me!?!

Thank you Charice for your advice! I posted about my breakup a few posts back. Last night I found out that he has unfriended me on Facebook, but I was still able to view all his posts cos they were all public. Then this afternoon when I looked again he made all his posts and photos private so I could no longer view them unless I’m a friend on FB. I don’t think he’s seeing someone new or trying to get a response from me so I really don’t understand why he did that? The unfriending came about 10 days post-breakup. Can you please shed some light on this situation? I really don’t understand why he had to do that… unfriending, then making his page private. This is driving me crazy :(

Glad I can help! Don’t worry about your ex unfriending you on Facebook. He’s probably going through the NC rule himself. In fact, you shouldn’t even be worrying about what he’s up to. It’ll only drive you crazy. I know it’s hard but try to focus your attention on the things you can control – yourself. Don’t let anything else bother you. The more you worry about him, the less you’re spending time making yourself more attractive. Hope this helps.

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me two months ago (we were only together for six months) — for the first month and a half after the break up, I was completely distraught and desperate. During that time, I texted him multiple times a day, usually receiving a brief answer about once a week, if at all. During the breakup, he told me he is breaking up with me because he does not love me. After discovering the no-contact rule, I decided to try it. I’m now two weeks into the rule and planning to keep it up for another two weeks to total to one month. He hasn’t contacted me at all during these two weeks. Do you think it will still work despite contacting him for the first month and a half after our breakup?

Congrats on going two weeks strong into the NC phase. Keep in mind that the purpose of the NC rule is to give yourself time and space to define what you really want and focus on yourself to become a better person. Just letting time past by won’t do you any good. You need to identify the problems in your relationship and commit to making the changes so you don’t make the same mistake in your next relationship.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost two months ago. It was over the smallest thing but over the course of our year and a half relationship we were off and on and we argued a lot because of his poor communication skills. During the argument he said some pretty hurtful things (he hated me, stopped loving me a long time ago, we’ll never be back together, etc.) He also lied to his parents about me saying that I broke it off with him and some other things which weren’t true. Just days before the argument he told me how much he loved me and how much he wanted to marry me. We were so in love with each other and he was my bestfriend. We haven’t talked since the break up and I miss him more than ever and I am beginning to think he meant what he said and that he has someone else. I really want him back because life just isn’t the same. We did absolutely everything together. I just don’t know what to do. We have never went this long without talking to each other. Do you think we have a chance at getting back together?

First you need to identify the issues you had with your ex. What is the real reason you two broke up and the reasons that you guys fought about. Then identify what areas are your fault and commit to changing yourself for the better. You’ll have a better chance of getting back together if you have made big steps of improvement before reaching out to your ex. You want him to see you as a different and better person rather then someone who he’ll be stuck with fighting all the time.

How am I suppose to contact him when he told me he wanted nothing to do with me or my family? I have identified my issues which is insecurities but he is not willing to identify his issues and change. I think that’s where we have the most problems because he never admits or realizes when he is wrong. I sent a long “i wish you the best” text and he responded very short which hurt my feelings in a way. I just want him back, i’m not quite sure what to do. His way of fixing things is breaking up for a week and getting back together which isn’t okay but this time is clear that this isn’t like the other break ups. He hasn’t given me closure because he says it’s irrelevant and we had our last talk… (when he broke up with me and said those mean things) so I really don’t know why he broke up with me. Its really been stressing me out. I’m starting to lose hope.

There’s not much you can to do to change him if he’s stubborn about his ways. The only thing you should focus on is yourself which you have total control of. What you want to do is increased your attraction level and get your ex to notice you again. If he is inspired, he’d move the world to change for you. Don’t expect closure or anything from him now. He doesn’t owe you anything. You owe yourself to move on and become a better person.

My boyfriend broke up with me after we had a few arguments over the same topic. I found out he was flirting with some girl via text when we first started dating one time and it never happened again. Ever since then I’ve been so insecure every time he would get a text. We would get into little arguments over it that would then blow up. I feel so bad for pushing my insecurities out on him. I was the one he was with. I was the one who he loved. After an argument over the same thing he broke up with me. Saying it is done. That he loves me but it’s unhealthy to be aruging like this. That everytime we fight it hurts him and he doesn’t have any more chances to give. I asked if we were done forever and he said he doesn’t know what will happen down the road and that he needs space. I feel terrible to have hurt him but my heart is breaking and I don’t know what to do from here? I want another chance… how do I get one?

Also his father passed away in March. I was there holding his hand when we found out at the hospital. I was there holding his hand at the funeral. I went to every family wedding with him and did whatever I could to be there for him. Father’s Day is coming up and I’m not sure what I should do if anything?

You are on the right track to admit to your own faults. Right now, your only goal is to fix this issue and work on yourself. If you can’t get past the insecurity, you will have a hard time trusting your partner in your future relationships.

On Father’s Day, send him a short text to show your support. Nothing more. Wait a few more days and send him another one to apologize and thank him for his love and support. Let him know you’re wrong about your behaviors and you are committed to making the change.

Giving each other space lets you clear your head and see the bigger picture. It prevents you two from making irrational and emotional decisions that will drive each other crazy. During this period of no contact, the main objective is to ask yourself what you really want in life and in a relationship and what you’re willing to change to get it.

I have a unique situation and I was wondering if I should still go through with this program.. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost a year and lately we’ve been arguing and he threatened to break up with me. Although we didn’t, things aren’t the same and I’m not sure if I can trust him. He confessed that he would talk to a friend of his sisters that is always at his house and he even went swimming with her without telling me! He says he does this because he just gets mad, but I’m confused with our trust anymore because she is ALWAYS at his house and she is clearly interested in him. I have tried bringing up old memories, appreciating him, and even asking little questions about things we’ve only shared via text but he seems aggravated. He takes days to text back and it has me worrying whether he talking with his sisters friend or not. I am at a loss because he threatened to talk to her if we broke up and we basically aren’t together now. What should I do? He still texts me, but it’s not the eager way he used to and whenever I bring up a memory he just says awh. Should I take longer to reply to his texts and act as if everything is fine? Don’t forget we are still ‘dating’!

Thanks a lot!

The one who cares less about the relationship will have the most power in it. It seems like your boyfriend has all the power in the relationship right now if he can threaten you to end the relationship. Don’t let this happen and don’t be insecure about him talking to his sister’s friend. If your boyfriend is not being exclusive to you, then you have every right to be seeing other guys. This is not to make him jealous but to allow yourself to explore other options and see what’s best for you. If he doesn’t respect you, then he doesn’t deserve you.

Ok, so my ex was the best bf any girl could ever dream of having. He always put my happiness above his and was always thinking of ways to make me feel loved and safe. We were so in love (or so I was told?). We prayed together we went to church together we had so much fun together. We were together for three months and during the third month I started becoming very demanding and needy, I would sulk and get upset about the littlest things every time we went out. I abused and took advantage of his patience and wanted to see how much he could put up with. And because I was so afraid of losing him I would just hold on tighter. In the end as much as he adored me, he just decided he couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with me in an email. He said he felt I needed him or a “bf” for validation (which is true) and he “felt a weight of pressure that he couldn’t shoulder.” I didn’t reply to that email (what could I possibly say?) and have remained in no contact since. I didn’t beg or cling. I just vanished from his life without saying a word. Today is the seventh day since our breakup and no contact and last night he emailed, after six days of no contact, saying he hadn’t heard from me and wondered if I were ok. Should I reply? Or would it undo all the hard work I’ve put into remaining in no contact? And I guess what I wanted to ask is, given the way I acted during the last month of our relationship, what are the chances of him coming back (given I’ve taken the time to work on my insecurities and get over the resentment of being abandoned)?

What’s most important here is that you’ve identified the problems from your side of the relationship. It’s a huge step to acknowledging it and working to fix it. I’m sure that once you’ve changed yourself to become a better person, the chances of getting back with your ex is higher. If he contacts you, just let him know that you need the space right now to work on these issues by yourself (and for yourself). Apologize and thank him for the love and support he’s given to you during your times together.

My boyfriend broke up with me on April 25th giving me finance as a reason that he don’t wanna tie me down that he will miss me .after begging and crying,he told me that even if I beg from now till nextyear that nothing will change that I should allow him to be and plan his life,that I shouldn’t tell anybody we are no more together.after two weeks of the break up,I sent him a message that unless am dead that is when I will allow him marry another lady after aborting My children,he went and deleted me in all his social networks.he told me to move that he has moved on.since then we have not talk only for him to call me on june 7th to tell me that he has collected the cloth I paid our designer to design for him before he broke up with me,we talked and laughed for 9minutes but we have not talked since of our friends met him and asked him why did he brokeup with me,he told the girl that he don’t want to tie me down in the name of loving me,that I didn’t do anything to him ooo,that he has never met my type of woman,that I have been the best girl he has ever met in his life,that I understand him very well but he don’t want to continue wasting my time unless things change financially,then he has no other choice than to come back to me,that if its God’s will that we wil stil come back together,that he told me not to let anyone know we have broken up but some people are already and he Don’t. Like it.though my friends are telling me to forget about him and move with my life and I get another man but I don’t think any man will make me feel the way he does.please wat can I do to get him back?though I have not contacted him since this there a chance I will get him back?

Me and my ex have been over for two months, it’s all my own doing for pushing him away, it all start in March when a so called friend decided to tell people why we agreed on a termination she had no right involving my ex’s best friend and his gf, who she was best friends with, I defend myself by having a go at her for tell my personal information to others. Every weekend me and my ex would have a mini agurrment when he had his kids and his ex did like me just jealous because I drive a nice car and she can’t. I pushed him away with my hormones threating to break up and we did get back together because he begged for me back and not to do this to him because he loves me, I’m 36 and he is 27, age doesn’t bother me, so end of March we both put up a Facebook status and my so called friend yet again asked me what is going in I told her nothing don’t worry about it, and on the Sunday she was asking her best friend what’s going on she didn’t know nothing, when my ex found out he told me she was asking questions again, I text her the following day having a go who does she think she is involving others about me and my ex, u found out last year she tried kissing him and my ex pushed the fat cow away, but she was telling people he kissed her. Lol basically I’m casing drama I’m not. We kept on having arguments about it, to the point we broke up and I went to see his ex and let he know because of the kids they loved me big mistake I now no. She told him and the next day when he collected kids he told her he was having nothing to do with me, but telling me different story, she has threaten him with the kids if I’m back in his life again. Over the last couple of weeks I have begged for chances to prove I’m the same girl he fell in love with, we all went beach had a lovely day, he has blanked my texts i have done the same he texts me I ignore for three days and text back, now I he text say he wanted more fun days together but I’m not allowed to see kids, he wants to to fall in to love again with the girl he met and his mind will change, but I had to stop with the texts and I couldn’t now texts have stopped he don’t want me and we will never see each other again, he was keeping me in his life texting me to go to his brothers house or take dog for walk now nothing in two weeks just nasty texts. I love him with all my heart and my head feels the same I can’t even walk away. I know I need to and need help I’m doing my best. But I know I have pushed him to far after his horrible relationship with his ex he says I’m the same as her and I’m not, his brothers have said was keeping me around in his life but wouldn’t come and see me like he promised me.
What do I do completely walk away or not. I’m not the sort of person to flirt with other guys to make him jealous nothing i removed him from Facebook then re added now he has deleted me and i have blocked him. Help please

He also said he doesn’t want the responsibility of a relationship that was when we first broke up, also telling me he wants to be friends but I couldn’t go from having a relationship to friendship when I still have strong feelings for him.
He know I love him to bits, is he just playing games with me, because he is the master at manipulating people. He says he cares about me, we ended up kissing passionately in May he was telling me then he still has feelings for me but he doesn’t now. He is away in holiday I wished him a happy holiday with a kiss at end and he replied thanks with kiss at end and he hasn’t done that in ages, then I get F off leave me alone because he is with his best mate. I never know where I really stand with him mixed signals all the time.
He use to call me every morning after he finished work until I got to work and speak again after I finished work until I seen him at my house. It’s so hard to let go

Hi Charice,
Thanks for sharing your breakup story. This is mine: My ex was the best bf any girl could ever dream of having — he always put my happiness above his and was always thinking of ways to make me feel loved and safe. We were so in love. We prayed together we went to church together we had so much fun together. We were together for three months and during the third month I started becoming very demanding and needy. I would sulk and complain about the littlest things every time we went out. I abused and took advantage of his patience because I was so afraid of losing him. In the end as much as he loved me, he couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with me. He said he felt I needed him or a “bf” for validation (which is true) and he felt a weight of pressure that he couldn’t shoulder. He said he has a “strong conviction that we need some time apart” and that he wants “time on his own.” I have remained in no contact since. I didn’t beg or cling when he broke up with me. I just vanished from his life without saying a word. Although it’s only been five days and I’m still devastated, I have no intention of breaking no contact. I guess what I wanted to ask is that, given the way I acted during the last month of our relationship, what are the chances of him coming back and wanting to get back together? Thanks!

One of the most important aspects during No Contact is acknowledging your faults that caused your relationship to end. Seems like you’ve already identified the areas where you’ve caused the breakup. I’d would suggest to focus on these issues and try to work on these areas. Improve on these, prove to him that you’ve grown to be more mature and your chances to get back will increase.

Don’t focus on counting down the days. Focus on yourself. The key is to improve on your confidence and desirability. If you are confident, then you wouldn’t be demanding or needy.

Hey did he ever text you to get back together or call you to get back or you contacted him after a month of no contact ??!

My boyfriend broke it off with me after 3 years on Monday. I found flirty messages between him and his bosses daughter from work about 2 weeks ago while we were on vacation in Paris. He told me he liked the attention she gave him and that it made him feel like a man. He is very insecure and has gained weight and just doesn’t feel good about himself. He said he didnt love her or want to be with her but that he did like her. That’s when I asked him if he wanted to marry me and he said he didn’t know. We have lived together for 2 years and have talked about marriage and even the names of our children. So I was quite shocked to hear this and blamed it on this women. I pressured him to tell me what he wanted. I didn’t think it was fair for him to just string me on if he had no intention to marry me in the future and he agreed. First he wanted a month break to concentrate on himself. He felt he wasn’t growing and is not the man he wants to be yet before he’s ready to settle down. He told me he still wanted to talk and that maybe we could see each other once a week. He said that he still loves me so much and misses me but needs to do this for himself. Then in a day it changed to he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship for the rest of his life and he decided to make the decision to be single because it wasn’t fair to me. What if at the end of the month the answer was he wanted to stay single. Then I was just waiting around with hope and he felt that inside that’s what he wanted. Anyways I begged for him back and cried so much. He said I can come home but I’ll wake up with the same feelings tomorrow. I went home to see my family and I have not spoken to him. I have been hanging out with friends and going out and trying to keep my mind off of him. After 3 days of no contact he asked me when I’d be back in the apartment because he stayed there for the night and wanted to make sure it was clean for when I returned. I answered him calmly and he replied with thanks for letting me know I’ll make sure my stuff isnt everywhere. I don’t know what to do. I thought I was going to marry this man. He is my best friend. I have already made the decision to move out in a month and concentrate on my life. But I miss him so much and wonder if this women is feeding him advice and encouraging his actions with her care free attitude. I have tried to break it off with him in the past because we were having issues in our sex life. He cried so much and wouldn’t let me go so I stayed. I can’t believe it’s so easy for him to turn around and do this to me. Everything has happened so fast. He’s always been so in love with me and such a good boyfriend. I feel like there’s something wrong with me and I have lost someone good forever.

You need to see where your ex is coming from with his decision to call it off. Based on your story, he’s right about breaking up. He’s just not ready to make a lifetime commitment. Not because he’s unsure about you, but it looks like he’s concerned about disappointing you and not being able to protect and provide for you.

He already feels insecure. So how do you think he’s feeling now with all the pressure you’re giving him to move forward with the relationship? I’m sure it’s making him more insecure, less confident about his abilities to care for you.

When a man wants to commit to a relationship, he needs to make sure he is in the right place.

Lean back, and let your man be a man. Trust in his leadership and respect his decisions.

Hi, my boyfriend and I were together for 5 months and he drifted away somehow, he was always with his friends and when I confronted him about it he would tell me that he loves me. I wanted to break up becuz it wasn’t working out and he wanted to break up also, so we did. But now I miss him even tho he treated me bad sometimes. These days I find him trying to get my attention at work, but I don’t look at him becuz I kno that’s what he wants me to do. I still love him and I want him bac, what should I do? We broke up on May 6th.

You have to let your ex have his days with this friends. Don’t try to control and fight over this issue. It’ll make him less of a man. What you’ll need to do is find a way to emotionally impact him so that he will want to spend more time with you instead. If he’s trying to get your attention, that’s great. Give it a shot when you’re ready for a second chance. In what ways does he treat you bad? Is it somewhat your fault that you could possible change?

My ex boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago and I’m still dealing with the stress of it. My question is, how am I supposed to implement the no contact rule if we have a child together? My son is currently with his father, my now ex, and it just makes things harder. We have been getting along great and making avid decisions for our son. We even laugh together like we used to. What do I do? How can I get away and still be around for my son?how do I make him miss me, when I have to see him nearly every day for my son?

In your case, just keep your contact minimal and only bring up conversations about your son. It’s okay to see him but keep it short like you’re busy with other things. You could take up new interests and hobbies which would hint to your ex you’re moving on with your life. In other cases, you could ask also ask your ex to watch your son on some nights where you go with some friends. By filling up your schedule with events focused around you and your son, your ex will be wondering what you’re up to.

Thanks charice. Another thing is that he is an a relative of mine. I dnt want things to end on a sour note between us so I want to have an aunt talk to him for me indirectly without he knowing I talked to her. I am also thinking of seeing him in a week to talk to him. Coz I need to explain y I acted the way I did. Do u think I should do that? Is it a good Idea?

Hello, I really need ur advice please. I had a terrible fight with my boyfriend and he is mad @me. I kept apologizing but he told me he feels nothing 4me now but told me things will be fine only if I take it slow. He says this but never calls or texts me. What do I do? I am so sick and confused. Should I just give up on the relationship as hard as that is?

Do as he says, just take it slow. I’m assuming that you ask for his attention a lot. You have to let your ex move forward on his own terms and respect his time and space. Men think different than us women. If he doesn’t text or call, it just means he’s got something else to focus on right now. He’s “emotionally unavailable”. And the last thing you should be doing is asking for more attention.

Right now, just focus on yourself. Work on some areas where you think he’d appreciate change from you. You have to let your man be him. You don’t have to give up on the relationship. Just let it flow naturally at his pace.

Pls help me. I have broken up with my boyfriend last month. We were in a relationship for 2 yrs and 1 mo. We had a bad break up and I said some horrible things to him. After a week, I said sorry to him and realized that I want him back. But he said he just wanted to explore other people and that I should just give him time and space, even just for two months. He asked me not to go anywhere and that he’ll miss me.

The whole month after our break up I pleaded/begged/asked him to get back to our relationship. A week has passed after our break up, he is now in a relationship and he chose the ‘new girl’ over me. I asked him why he has done this to me, he said I already broke up with him. And now they are facebook official and posted a lot of pictures of them together. He hides these pictures from me on his facebook, but I can see them using my friend’s account. Why does he do that? I already know that he has a girlfriend, then why hide the pictures from me? He does not text me anymore and completely ignores me.

I just started the ‘No Contact Rule’ this month. I have not contacted him for almost 2 weeks now. But he texted me on the 1st day of NC that he wants his money back. I ignored him because I was hurt. He shows no concern for me anymore and just asks for his money. So, I was angry. Should I reply now? or should I wait for the 30 days to reply and give his money?

And this weekend, they went out of town for a vacation already. They haven’t even been together for a month! They went to this place where we planned to go together and exactly on our monthsary date. Its so fast! Is she just a rebound?

Ever since we broke up, I posted happy pictures of me hanging out with some friends and exploring life by mountain trekking and swimming. I think I am doing a good job pretending to be happy. But to be honest, I am totally hurt and don’t know if I want him back. I miss him and our good old times but his attitude now makes him so immature.

Can you please explain what is going on? I’ve been making excuses for his actions that he is just hurt over the break up, just like me, which is why he moved on so fast and doing these things. Has he totally moved on? How can I fix this?

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m glad you are implementing the No Contact Rule. But make sure you cut all contact with him and remove anything that reminds you of him. This includes his money. I would suggest that you repay him back as soon as possible to officially end the relationship.

If you get a chance to meet him in person to pay the money back, let him know you’re moving on and you appreciate all the things he’s done for you.

During the NC period, you need to work on things that will make you genuinely happy. Focus on goals you want to achieve and things that will change you to become a better person. If you’re just counting down days, nothing will happen. Even if after 30 days your ex contacts you, you’ll just end up in the same situation as you are now.

Don’t worry about what he’s doing. He’s going through the same emotions as you are but dealing with it a bit differently. Like you said, his attitude is a bit immature now. There’s no need to get worked up over it. Let the old times be good memories and move on to creating new ones.

Hi, me and him both are projectmates and are classmates too. We were very close to each other and sometimes he use to speak like he is in love with me. But never committed. Another girl of our class and common friends too..for no reason always jeoulous of me from starting entered in between us too. Suddenly she started acting nice and kind to me so I too reacted the same and like a fool started sharing my personal life with her even the conversation between me n him. She knew that I love him too n even use to tease me but I never knew she is playing a game behind me. She started conversation with him behind my back I was not even aware of it. Slowly I got to know this from my guy friend itself but still I took it casually without being possessive. I started realizing that she have some wrong intentions n she never liked we both being together but still I was cool because I was sure about him. I never thought of entering in her dirty games. But after somedays I realized my guy friend is avoiding me….n when I asked him the reason…after making all excuses he finally said he is in love with her. To save my self esteem I didn’t show him my emotions and thought of moving on….but again and again she is coming and hurting me by using him which is unbarrabel now…recently she acted to him that she is sad that I’m that different to her compared to others aand these dramas n I have some problem with both of them…n like stupid he was coming and asking me the same that too without telling that she said him that…he was saying that he thinks so….I will have problem with him? who was ready to do anything for his happiness? n the same night she texts me and asked if she have done anything wrong to her…when I acted normally she said if u are not able to tell its ok….now all these r increaing my temper…this was too much. Why both of them played with my emotions…n she is still playing…If he had to dump me finally why did he showed so much love and affection…She thinks by winning him she can show to the world and herself that she is better than me…but what about my emotions….tell me wat should I do now? Don’t tell me to move on and forget all this…because I already tried but she only don’t want me to do that…n I can’t see him sad since I love him but still what he did to me was very wrong…I want him back so please suggest me what to do??

Thanks for sharing your story. I can understand and feel your pain. But I must admit that this is quite a complicated situation especially that you and the guy are classmates. What I would do first is get away from all this drama. Nothing good will come out of it. Try to cut all communication with both of them and minimize contact at school. Get new project partners if you have to. Stay out of their lives for now and just move on with yours. By moving on, you will prove to be the bigger and better person. This will radiate confidence and possibly draw the guy back to you after he realizes what he’s lost without you. You mentioned that you are still in love with him. Why do you still love him? For now, do your best to keep your distance.

My boyfriend and I have been togther for a year and a half. He blocked me and then he unblocked me about a week ago. He did message me first saying hey so I replied a little while saying hi. Over the past 2 days, we’ve had a conversation where he wanted to talk to me asking me if I’m meeting new people. However, he kept on calling me buddy and bud. I really want to get back together with him because pir relationship was broken up in such a haste and fast decision that was made by him. You think eventually we will get back together?

Sounds like he’s slowly making a move. Let the casual conversations continue but let him initiate most of the time. Also, play a little hard to get. Give him a little taste that you’ve “moved on” in the sense that you have changed and a busy life now. Good luck!

I chucked my boyfriend out after 8 months and totally regret it we was so in love he promised me the world I tried to say missed him the next day he said it’s all been said I’m gonna focus on me and my kids I see him a week later up the road when I was going out he crossed the road to talk to me asked me how I was then I said can we talk first he said no its all been said then I said no it hasn’t so he said ok can I come round tomorrow so I went out texted him next day and he said sorry with kids so I said does this mean you never want to talk to me he said we both need to move on I said yes your right have a happy future he said back at you then I texted sorry for chucking you out like that I was just upset about you not coming home that night I was so stressed I fell in love with you and still love you but I’ll accept you want to move on so I’ll move on
2 weeks ago not heard nothing he used to say if we ever broke up I’d walk of the end of the pier and stuff like that we was getting on well before that I also sent him a big tex before the break up saying we needed space and that I wasn’t happy ect in last tex I told him I was happy but was just upset that he hadn’t been spending special time with me for a while.

You’re going back and forth and it’s confusing for both you and him. Every short term contact you have with him will just end the same way, an argument followed by an apology. Don’t do this to yourself. You’re going nowhere with this sort of communication. Just give each other some space to cool off and reflect on your relationship. Right now, everything’s all talk. Respect the no contact and refrain from contacting him. You’ll get more of his attention.

Hi there. I am Sally. My boyfriend and I dated for nine whole months. And on our ninth month anniversary’s next day he says he isn’t into dating anymore.
Now he bitches about me a lot and makes me hate myself like hell. He messages me on Facebook saying that I’m a bitch and a whore and a slut, which I know I am not. But now he is trying to make me really hate myself.
I need help as soon as possible. Though he blocked me on Facebook.
We would be meeting day after tomorrow as me and my friends and done more people are going for a trip. I won’t be comfortable and i don’t know what to do.
I know I really love him. It’s been like two months since our breakup.
I need immediate help. :/

Sally, you don’t really need this from him. Send him one last message telling him that you don’t appreciate his hurtful words after 9 months together. Then just ignore him to start the No Contact phase. Even if he contacts you, just tell him you need space. Silence is the best comeback and don’t let his words get to you.

I’m glad this works for you! I truly believe that getting away for a bit is the best way to deal with a breakup, let alone make him miss you. It lets you completely take your mind off things and gives you both space. You just feel free. It just makes the process a lot easier.

I really need your help.
I’m trying to do all these things but nothing seems to be happening.
He’s in a new relationship now but I’m not sure if its a rebound or not.


The only thing you should be doing is focusing on yourself. There should not be any contact between you and your ex. Don’t worry about him being in a new relationship. Focus on what you have control of – YOU. The more time you spend on worrying about what’s happening with your ex, the less time you are committing in creating attraction that will bring him back. Learn to let go for now. Trust me, it’ll pull him in more.

Hi Astrid, don’t worry if he is in a relationship. This doesn’t mean that it will work out. Over 3 years ago, I was madly in love with this guy (so I thought), but he was being a big jerk. To make this long story short, I met another guy on Facebook (by accident) and he rocked my world (to say the least). We are so much alike. He is very funny, witty, educated, worldly…everything that my other boyfriend wasn’t. I then realized that I was falling madly in love with him even though I tried not to. It’s been 3 years now and we are still going strong. I can’t believe I was in a relationship with the other guy. what the hell was I thinking?! What I’m trying to say is, you might find someone better who will knock your socks off. That’s why you need to move on and away from the old BF and start letting other people in. After all, it looks like he’s moved on and got himself another GF.

Brilliant article

Is there anyway I can talk to you personally and tell you what happened? I just really need advice right now

Well I just have a question should I flirt with other guys yet just to make him jealous won’t it send him completely off and never want me back ever again ?

No, flirt and date other guys to help you boost your confidence and explore your feminine energy. You deserve the attention of other guys if they are attracted to you. By dating a bit, you’ll also learn more about your qualities and areas men find you attractive. It’s all about practice.

Your ex getting jealous will just come naturally. There’s no need to intentionally flirt and date to make him jealous. It’ll backfire on you if he finds out you’re doing it to get his attention.

Hello! I have a quick question about a review that you wrote on the Text Your Ex Back program. You have it pretty rave reviews and I am very intrigued, but I have a few issues. My ex was never an avid texter. He usually only replied with there or four words and it drove me crazy. I’m not sure if this program would work with him. Secondly my ex moving back home which is four hours away, so I’m not sure if this would work with long distant relationships.
What do you think? It this program still a good match?

The Text Your Ex Back program uses text messaging as a medium for you to communicate with your ex at your own comfort and control. Even if your ex isn’t an avid texter, the advice and strategies will work. The main idea is to help you gently initiate contact and determine whether your ex feels good about a new relationship or not. It’s safer and definitely less pressure than initiating the first contact face to face. If your ex uses Facebook messaging or other IMs, the methods will apply. Keep in mind that one third of the program is to help you process the breakup. So there’s a lot of information other than just texting methods.

Hi,my boyfriend broked up with me after being together for 4 years and he told me he’s not in love. He jas always treated so well so this is all a surprise for me and so shocking. What do I do to get him back?

Perhaps he’s just not ready to fully commit, or let go of his full freedom. Give him the space he needs and don’t contact him in the meantime. This will give him the opportunity to miss you which will help him decide. For you, just enjoy your life, have fun and he’ll realize what he’s missing out. If he’s not ready to be exclusive, neither should you.

Hey. My question is after all this work, what if he actually doesn’t come back?my ex and I broke up n a very sudden way,it turned out After months and months of a happy loving relationship it turns out I was his side chick and he had a main chick who is now apparently when she found out he had been seing me he dumped me she like last weeks trash.all this happened almost a month ago. On my vacation I decided I can be happy with out him and im going to be a better woman,better tyan ever im going to become a woman of high value and im doing just that. But the truth is deep inside my heart still longs for him. And I really dont want to believehe really used me asmuch as I fell used, What if he never comes back?

I’m happy for you that you’ve got the right mindset to become a better woman with higher values. I would focus on this and learn how to unleash your feminine side to boost your confidence. I wouldn’t worry about your ex. In fact, I would recommend you to move on and find another man. The biggest reason being that his “main chick” is pregnant. Don’t get into this triangle. You are better than that and I can guarantee that you’ll find someone better.

Hi my partner left me almost a week ago just having buried my mother. I am grieving so badly at the loss of tow people I loved so much. He has left me countless times and it has always been me begging him to try again. We really do love each other but he can’t let go of the past for many reason. He is emailing me replying to my emails but full of anger and bitterness,
I am devastated to say the least trying to cope with the loss of my mother. Any advice would be most appreciated

I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I think at this moment, you need to be around supportive people. Don’t beg him to give you another chance. This will make him feel more superior and in control. Send him a text message thanking him for being there for you (or a better reason) and let him know you need some space to get back on your feet. Stop all contact with him after the message and focus on yourself. You need this time for yourself to become stronger. If he really cares, he’ll find a way to forgive and be supportive.

Hi I’m here again!! My ex and I have been off and on for weeks now. But 3 weeks ago he ended it again but this time he is adamant it’s for good. We have seen each other twice recently and slept together the other night but he still says it’s over and seems to be moving on fast. We love each other but I think too much has happened. I am trying so hard for no contact which I have never done before and I need to change for myself. A lot of what has happened is my fault. Will he miss me and realise or do you think this time it’s for real
Thanks Helen

Stand your ground Helen. This on-and-off relationship is not going to go anywhere especially when you’re giving him what he wants when he wants. You should want the relationship on your terms and at your control too. If it’s easy for him to get you back, where’s the fun and challenge for him? You have to set yourself at a level where your ex will move the world to get you back. Use the No Contact period to focus on yourself and regain your self worth.

Wow super amazed by this because its so true. My ex broke up with me about a month ago no big reason. i was so good to him. I decided to deactivate my fb I figured hey why should he know what I’m up to. Lately hes been asking my sister about me as to how im doing and recently he told her to tell me to call him. Of course I didnt but I did reply the next day with a short casual response but after that I didnt get a response back. Im really confused as to what I should do. Am I doing things wrong ? I dont wanna puch him away.

You shouldn’t have sent him a text message right after he asked your sister to have you call him. This just assures him that you’re still around. Why can’t he just contact you? You see, it’s a bit of an “ego” thing for men. He said something, and you did it. Just focus on yourself and enjoy being single. Be confident, have fun, and you’ll pull him in once he realizes what he’s missing out.

My ex boyfriend of 9 years broke up 6 month ago when he almost cheated, we got back together but something seemed different we had a brief time of not talking (30) days then had a big fight over the Christmas holiday. It was the first time in 9 years we did not spend Christmas or New years together we did not even send a text. It has been 30 days almost since we spoke he wont respond to my text answer my calls I have only text him twice once to tell him I understand the breakup then like a crazy woman I text him tonight to say have a good night again no response. I know it makes me look unstable to say I understand the break then to tell him a week later have a good night, however; I am having the hardest time accepting the relationship is over he is my best friend. I want him back.

It’s more important for you right now to identify what went wrong in the relationship. Work through the problems so you have a better chance of getting him back.

There is someone else if u ask me. Sorry, but why else would he just not respond…that’s cold unless you are preoccupied with someone else…either way, still cold.

My ex boyfriend stopped talking to me about 4 months ago. He said he is dating someone. About 2 weeks ago, I sent him a smiley face. He sent one back and he me how I was? We started texting now & then. I mentioned something about a drink for New Years he said we can’t see each other while he is dating. He would let me know when things change.
Sunday I texted him, thinking of you!
But didn’t get any response?
I guess I shouldn’t have sent that text!!

If he’s dating someone, you should be too. If you keep texting him, he’ll see that as you being available and waiting for him.

If he’s seeing someone else, just let him be. It’s out of your control so don’t fuss over it. Instead focus on yourself and increasing your attraction levels. Just think of this, if you become more attractive, wouldn’t your ex be more drawn to you? You’ll get his attention naturally and trigger his curiosity.

Hows that going to happen if u guys never ever see each Other and he doesnt have any social media? How do ubknow if hes missing u then? I will NEVER EVER BREAK and tex or call him! Ever!

Hey me and my baby father have been together for 3 years we have a 1 year old baby girl I went thru his phone almost a month ago and found he was sedating a female late night/early hours I completely blew my cool and attacked him hitting him pulling his hair everything I could. I did the no contact rule and we stopped talking for 3 weeks I sent him a picture of our daughter at the pool he blew my phone up begging and pleading we get back together. I accepted after giving him a hard time 2 weeks later I find myself getting back on the subject of him cheating on me he hung up on me and told me hes not perfect and ignored my calls the whole entire day. Later that day I stopped by his house his car was outside knocking on his door for 5 -10 minutes he didn’t answer the door at all but he was inside. I left and came back 10 minutes later and did the same thing he didn’t answer the door I went home and left voicemail s and called crying he told me my attitude was the reason he did me that way. I don’t know what to do right now I cut off all contact with him again I’m just confused. He hasn’t tried to contact me or apologize

Sexting ** I always wonder if he’s thinking about me or really wants to be with me. He has so much pride and he knows it

For him to cheat on you when you two just had a child is completely wrong. But I’m more concerned about what he meant when he said your “attitude was the reason he did me that way”. What is he referring to? Could you be partially wrong that led to him cheating on you? Or is he just finding an excuse?

He says I have an attitude problem, I know I have a bit of anger issues. But I try working on that I just let myself explode when I feel as if he is lying. I kept bringing up the fact he cheated after I took him back which is why he’s saying my attitude and the reason for me to keep bringing it up after the fact

Focus on working on your own issues first. It will pay off in the long run and make your relationships better.

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