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No matter how hard you try, you can’t shake your ex out of your head. Thoughts about him just keep popping up randomly in your daily life and keeps your mind busy about him all day. You want to know how to stop missing your ex and stop letting him live rent-free in your head.
But is it possible?
The thoughts about your ex occur more often after a broken heart. Even if you’re going through the No Contact Rule, you’re helpless with the mix of negative feelings and feelings of longing for your ex to come back.
I’ll be the first to admit that this is a tough time for you as you’re forced to make a transition in your life because of a broken relationship. You’re hurt, confused, and can’t shake the feeling of loss. And the last thing you want is missing your ex non-stop and having those thoughts dictate your life and self-worth.
So how do you stop missing your ex? How do you control your thoughts when your ex randomly jumps into your train of thought?
The solution I have been using for myself and my coaching clients is simple. All you need is an action plan to execute when you start missing your ex. It’s easier said than done, especially for those who just got dumped. But here’s my method.
The key is to set up a distraction when you find yourself thinking about your ex too much. You need to get out of the house, call your friend and do something. It’s simple as that. Spend time with friends and do your favorite activities. This is the best way to take the mind off your ex and use your social circle to squash your breakup.
It’s vital to distract yourself from the thoughts of your ex for a while. Because if you keep thinking about them all the time, it will only cause frustration and more breakups. Even if you don’t plan to ignore his text or calls, just avoid responding to them when you feel like thinking about them.
Using distraction may be hard at first, but it works wonders for those finding it hard to follow the No Contact Rule. If this is the case, spending time with your family is also another great option.
Not only do you want to keep your mind busy by engaging in physical activity, but your attention is also turned to your current task.
My piece of advice is to have a close friend on speed dial and call them up when you sense the thought, so your ex-boyfriend is creeping up into your head. The faster you can find a distraction, the quicker you’ll stop missing your ex.
And while you’re going through the No Contact period, that this opportunity to spend time with people you love or those you’ve lost contact with. It’s always a good idea to rebuild a healthy relationship with someone who matters.
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From time to time, you’ll be going to miss your ex boyfriend. It’s natural for these thoughts to cross your mind. The key is not to let it consume your daily life and affect your mental health. Don’t fight those thoughts or engage in any negative self-talk. You do not have any painful experiences to resurface during your healing process.
From my personal experience, I always try to see my breakups from a positive angle. I know it’s difficult to endure, but using the No Contact period to reflect on the broken relationship has always led to personal growth and a better outlook on life.
So if you are missing your ex-boyfriend, you need to determine why you are missing him. Do you have unresolved feelings towards your ex?
Or what is holding you back from moving on? Most of us are afraid of moving on from the past because we’re still holding on to something. The answer is to know that you can heal and move on when you want to. You don’t need acceptance from your ex for this. It’s just because you’re not over them yet.
Being consciously aware of these healing thoughts will help you prevent them from taking over your everyday life, making it hard for you to socialize and limit your day-to-day activities due to your thoughts about him.
So if this is the case, you need a plan to make sure your healing process is as smooth as it can be. It’s important to recognize when you’re feeling the thoughts of loss and start to observe yourself in everyday life. Being fully aware of these feelings and situations will help you prevent them from holding you back or affecting your daily life with negative thoughts.
If you take an active role in your healing process, you’ll naturally stop missing your ex. Your single life will be fulfilled by new goals in mind (like joining a cooking class) and redefining yourself from head to heart.
As I mentioned earlier, we tend to let our minds wander freely and consume us before disrupting them. If you miss your ex so much, it means that you have allowed your mind to keep thinking about your ex. You’ll find yourself still thinking about your ex when you go out to meet new people. This is why it’s crucial to disrupt those thoughts and start observing them so your mind will be empty and transformed.
You have let the negative thoughts take up space in your mind, but this won’t last forever. All you need is to change your perspective of your fear of moving on from the past. And then act on it. If you constantly think of your ex boyfriend and miss him, you’re thinking about him more than enough and affecting your present.
It’s important to break this cycle of thinking. You just have to ask yourself, why do you keep thinking about your ex so much? Please don’t give up on the question as soon as it pops up in your mind. Keep asking yourself this question to find the real answers.
When you’re in the phase of missing your ex, it’s normal for you to think about him. But you need to realize that it’s okay for you to move on. That as much as you want them back, it’s not going to happen now if they have moved on and aren’t thinking about you either.
From my personal experience, I would refrain from telling an ex that you miss them. It’s a sign of weakness and desperation that I believe no woman should put themselves through. Plus, you’re probably not going to get the response you want from your ex. It’s only going to complicate things and stir up emotions.
Because the truth is, your ex isn’t your boyfriend anymore. You’re not a couple, you haven’t been for the longest time. And this is why you should avoid missing them in any way possible. It’s a sign that you’re still holding on to something inside and not ready to move on.
They won’t tell you that if you tell them how much you miss them, it’s going to make those feelings stronger and more complicated for you to let go or get over them. Instead, you should focus on the positive things about yourself and create a plan to allow the healing process to take hold.
The truth is you don’t need to tell your ex how much you miss them to heal. Your feelings are going to come out of their own accord. And as much as it’s hard, you need to allow yourself time to move on.
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