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The No Contact period is usually a buffer time of 30 days when you and your ex go about your own ways to recover from the breakup. Emotions, feelings, and thoughts run through your mind as you try to figure out what just happened. And while you’re trying to piece your life back together, it’s normal for you to start thinking about your ex.
Now, I’m sure you’re also asking this question: “Is my ex thinking about me during no contact?”
Even if your ex-boyfriend is the one who initiated the breakup, it’s likely that he will still be thinking about you during this period of time. He still cares about you and wonders how you are doing. After all, you have been a big part of his life as his cheerleader, confidante, and best friend.
Don’t get me wrong. Your ex thinking about you doesn’t mean he wants to get back together. Now that you two are officially separated, your ex needs time to adjust to his new life without you around. For sure, there will be moments where he misses having you around, which gets him thinking about you.
In most cases, these thoughts are temporary and easily fixed. You may find a phone call or text from your ex wondering how you are doing. If that happens, make sure you ignore your ex’s contact, as this will break your No Contact streak. By responding to your ex’s contact, you are helping him deal with his feelings but triggering more negative emotions inside of you.
Stick to the No Contact Rule and during your healing process and cut your ex out for the next 30 days.
There are subtle and clear signs that show that your ex misses you during no contact. Below are a few common ones that I’ve found from my own experience and coaching students. Keep in mind that if you see any of these signs, keep your cool and focus on your healing process.
1. He’s active on your social media posts.
You’re still seeing your ex commenting and liking your Instagram photos. This is a sign that your ex is checking up on you, seeing how you’re doing through your posts. It’s normal for exes to take this route to keep an eye on you. Sometimes, it feels good to know that you’re ex is still around. But the idea that he’s still lurking around may bring some confusing feelings to you. What exactly does your ex want?
If your ex’s presence on your social media bothers you or slows your recovery process, it’s best to block and unfriend your ex for the time being.
2. Your ex asks your friends and family about you.
Your ex is still connected to your inner circle. Now and then, he asks about you through your friends. At the very least, this is a sign that your ex still cares about you. He wants to know how you’re doing getting through the breakup. Maybe he’s not over you and thinks he’s made a mistake breaking up. But showing some sincerity is always a positive sign that your ex is a caring person.
3.You notice your ex changing in a better way.
It doesn’t matter who initiated the breakup, if you see your ex changing himself to become a better person, there’s always the chance that he’s trying to impress you back again. Maybe he made a mistake breaking up with you and just needed a few weeks to get his head to straighten up.
He can’t stand not having you in his life after realizing what he’s lost during No Contact.
Therefore, if you notice your ex making positive changes to his life, especially the bad habits that he knows to annoy you, wait for him to contact you again for a second chance.
Does silence make a man miss you?
If you’re giving your ex-boyfriend the silent treatment, it will make him miss you. By going cold turkey, you are making your ex wonder what you are doing. This curiosity is going to drive him crazy not knowing your current status or whereabouts.
The best part is that your ex will get a taste of what it feels like to lose you forever.
I know it’s hard to stay silent and completely block your former flame from your radar. You miss him too and always hold on to the hope of contact from your ex. But resist the temptation to give in when your ex-boyfriend reaches out. Let him feel your true absence to understand what life will be like without an amazing person like you.
It usually takes about 3 to 4 weeks for an ex to miss you with no contact. The first two weeks is usually a cooling down phase where both you and your ex recover from the breakup. This is usually the most challenging process to go through as you’re both through many emotional and physical adjustments.
Once your ex has had the time to cool down and make adjustments in his life, he will start to reflect on his choices and the past relationship from time to time. He’ll begin to miss the good old days and all the great laughs he shared with you.
He’ll start to miss that special person in his life. You.
But like I’ve mentioned earlier, just because your ex is thinking about you doesn’t mean he wants to get back together. The feeling of missing you may be temporary, and you can get instant gratification through a quick text conversation with yourself. This is false hope if you think your ex missing you is a clear sign he wants to win you back.
I’ve written more about this topic in another post. See the link below.
Will no contact make him move on?
One of the No Contact Rule goals is to help you and your ex get over the breakup and move on. Therefore, if your ex is the one who initiated the breakup, the chances are his mind is already made up to move on with his personal agenda.
Don’t be afraid of the fact that your ex is moving on. The truth is that you also need to get over your past relationship and adjust your focus back to your life.
From my experience, it’s only by moving on do most people get back together. It’s the time apart that makes you and your ex realize how important you mean to each other.
What he’s thinking during no contact?
It’s hard to decipher what your ex is thinking about during no contact. If your ex-boyfriend is the one who initiated the breakup, he is likely thinking about his next move now that he’s free and out of a relationship. He’s prepared to make a run in the competitive world and find his piece of success.
Unless it was a bad relationship, your ex likely broke up with you because he is emotionally unavailable. He’s not happy with where he is in life and needs his own time and space to figure what he wants. Your ex also doesn’t want to put any more effort into maintaining a healthy relationship because he feels like he’s not getting what he enjoys being with you.
This is why the No Contact Rule is so important. You both need time apart to figure out what each of you wants. And by giving each other some distance, it will help you see the bigger picture of your life and what’s important.
Will no contact work if he lost feelings?
If your ex-boyfriend broke up with you, chances are he has already lost feelings for you during No Contact. When the dumper breaks up with the dumpee, the dumper has already made up their mind long before the breakup. The feelings have changed, and their mind is set to move on. It might look like your ex is a narcissistic person, but the truth is that they are emotionally unavailable.
Your ex may have set his target elsewhere and decided not to put any more effort into your relationship. Maybe he’s found another attractive person or needs some space to pursue his dreams.
Don’t get your hopes up and think that the No Contact Rule will make your ex think twice about the breakup.
It is normal for your ex to be thinking about you from time to time. There are subtle and clear signs that your former flame is missing you. But just because your ex is thinking about you doesn’t mean that he wants to get back together. It’s a normal mind reflex as your ex’s brain is used to creating moments that include you.
I have listed some common signs above.
Will my ex just forget about me?
It’s doubtful that your ex will just forget about you. You have been a big part of his life for some time. Maybe you’re the only one that knows his favorite song. So when you’re someone who knows you’re ex’s deepest secrets, it’s hard for your ex to forget about you.
After all, you guys did have some pretty great moments together.
Why am I suddenly thinking about my ex?
It’s normal for you to think about your ex from time to time. When you’re going through the 30 Day Rule, you’ll helplessly be bothered with memories about your ex. It sucks, but it takes a bit of practice to stop letting your ex live rent-free in your head.
The key is to constantly keep yourself busy and distracted with activities that take away your focus. One of the best ways is to find an activity outside your apartment. Get out and try to enjoy your environment.
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