Should I Block My Ex?

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Out of nowhere, you receive a text from your ex. Maybe you’re still going strong following the No Contact Rule, or it’s been a year or two since the two of you broke up. What does your ex want from you?

With that uncertainty, you start to wonder if you should block or ex or ignore him.

Should I block my ex?

I know that feeling. It is a question that drives many people crazy as they fuss about why their former flame suddenly pops up in their life. The worst part of this unwelcoming message is that your mind and emotions naturally take you down memory lane. Good and bad, you start to think about your past, with some memories you once thought were buried and forgotten.

And when your ex reaches out while you’re following the No Contact Rule, it’s tempting to see what he wants.

Now, regardless of whether you want to get back with your ex-boyfriend or you’ve truly moved on, my general rule about blocking an ex is this: if you feel uncomfortable talking to an ex, then you should just block him.

Simple as that. If it makes you uncomfortable to see a text or even a like from him on a social media post, then it’s best to block him. If you’ve been in a couple of bad relationships as I have, you’ll understand that been cold and directly cutting off is for your own good.

You want your ex out of your life, period.

And there’s nothing wrong with cutting someone out of your circle when they produce a negative influence on your well-being. It’s one less major stressor in your life while you try a clean slate.

Following this rule is also the easiest way to stop thinking about whether you should block your ex-boyfriend or not. It’s one less thought in your head that.

In this post, I’ll go more in-depth about why you should block your ex and when it is the right time to unblock if you feel the need to reach out. Let’s get right to the questions and answers.

RELATED: The No Contact Rule To Rule Your Next 30 Days Without Any Heartbreak 

Is it better to block or ignore an ex?

In most circumstances, it is better to block an ex than ignore them. Think about it: if your ex leaves a comment or emoji on your new Facebook post, you’re most likely going to ignore his comment. But you will most likely reply to your friends’ comments, right? Now how will that make your ex feel when he’s convinced that you’ve left him out of the conversation?

In addition, what if your ex leaves a negative (or jealous) comment?

Therefore, to avoid all these unwanted outcomes, it’s best to block your ex, especially when you are not comfortable talking with him.

You should make a clear statement. Not just towards your ex-boyfriend, but also a clear line is drawn for yourself that you will not dig yourself hole while becoming a better version of yourself. You do not want any negativity and mixed emotions to influence your progress. 

Is it a petty move to block your ex? The answer is no. It’s a power move. If you have read any self-help books, most of them will tell you to re-evaluate your circle of friends and cut out bad people who produce negative influence in your life.

If your ex is someone you think will bring you down, then it’s best to cut him off for good.

In addition, if you have the habit of constantly checking up on your ex, you should also block him to help yourself move on. So hit that block button and get on with your life!

Here’s a list of a few good reasons to block your ex.

– it stops you and your ex from stalking each other on social media

– it helps you from being obsessive over your ex

– it prevents mind games

– it forces you to move on

RELATED: Why Is The No Contact Rule So Effective After A Breakup?

Why you shouldn’t block your ex

Some people are worried that blocking their ex will come across as bitter and vindictive. If your peers think this way of you, don’t mind their opinion because they have no clue about what you’re going through. Blocking someone out of your life is the most effective solution to move on. If you’re in the No Contact period, your mindset is still in a fragile state while you’re trying to work out your feelings. So blocking off your ex-boyfriend during radio silence is a must.

Now what about after the No Contact Rule? Should you continue to block your ex? As mentioned earlier, if you have improved your self-esteem and feel confident in talking with your ex, then there’s no need to cut him off.

Are there any reasons why you shouldn’t block your ex? I could really think of three reasons.

1. You had a clean breakup.

Your breakup was clean and mutual. There are no hard feelings between you two, and friendship seems like a viable option. Perhaps you may reach out to your ex for help now and then. Or you have mutual friends that call for some occasions to hang out together.

If your ex is a handyman and you’re comfortable asking him for help, then it’s acceptable to keep your ex in the loop. But if you still have intense feelings about your ex, then having a friendship may be hard for you to go along with.

2. You have kids together.

If you share parental responsibilities with your ex, then it’s apparent that you should maintain contact with them. Although your relationship did not work out with your ex, it’s important to stay positive and open for the sake of your child’s well-being.

When you’re living separate lives with your ex, it’s always hard to allocate time and effort. But always have your child’s best interest in mind when. Make sure you allocate enough personal time to provide the best environment for your child.

3. You’re open to getting back together.

Once you have gone through No Contact and feel good about your new self, it’s time to consider unblocking your ex. If you are thinking about getting back together, keep the communication channels open. Let your ex know that you’re around but be cool and subtle with your presence.

It’s important that your mental health is strong and you’re ready to date again. Sometimes we over-estimate our readiness and jump into dating too soon. Make sure you have completely let go of your previous relationship before you decide to start dating again. 

Is it immature to block your ex?

The last thing you should worry about is how others will think of you when you block your ex. No, it is not immature to block your ex. It is also not a bitter, vindictive move to boost your ego. 

Blocking your ex is a means to help you move on.

If you have mixed emotions about doing it, it’s always the right choice to cut out someone you have bad feelings about. You’re simply cutting out the negative elements of your life.

There is no difference between removing an ex out of your life versus cutting out a bully or old friend that harms your life. If this person is not helping you become a better person, then it’s time to evaluate your inner circle and who should be a part of your life.

I know some of you might want to keep some contact with your ex if you need to reach out. Trust me, it’s better to lose his phone number for now than to cling on to it like a rescue line. When the time comes to contact an ex, you’ll find a new way to reach out.

It’s a lot like tidying up your room. If your closet is filled with old clothes, you’ll never have space for new ones. The same goes for old memorabilia taking up space, you need to make room for new stuff. You have clutter in your room (and life) because you have also allowed yourself a lot of bad habits. 

By removing the clutter, you start a clean slate with a new aim in life.

RELATED: Does The No Contact Rule Work On Men If You Want Him Back?

What hurts more blocking or ignoring?

Being ignored generally hurts more than being blocked. When you block someone, it’s a clear statement that you do not want to associate with that person anymore. You’re sending a final message to that person and providing some closure.

When you ignore someone, you’re giving them silent treatment. It leaves the person being ignored feel like they are a sitting duck, unsure of what is going on. It’s psychological torture that keeps the ignored person guessing about your motive.

Should you block or ignore your ex? For your best interest, it’s always best to block an ex [TC1] if you do not want to associate with them anymore. It’s a clear message for both of you that the relationship is over and it’s time to move on.

I’ve gone through many painful breakups to tell you firsthand that the first thing to do during No Contact is to block your ex. It doesn’t matter what other people think, it’s what you need to do to survive during the bad times. If there’s ever a need to contact your ex, there are always ways to reach out through mutual friends.

Should I block my ex if I still love him?

If you’re practicing the No Contact Rule now, you should block your ex. The goal during radio silence is to recover from your regular breakup and remove anything and anyone that will affect your recovery. Your ex and anything that reminds you of his need to be removed and out of sight.

If you still love your ex-boyfriend and want to hold out on the chance to get back together, you can unblock a few communication channels to look more inviting. All you should do is unblock your ex and not send a message. Be subtle with your motives.

But be aware of inviting your ex back into your life. Just because you still want to keep in touch with your ex doesn’t mean he feels the same way. Your ex-boyfriend may have moved on and found a new partner. His new lifestyle may make you jealous and turn on obsessive behavior. If you find yourself unable to control your emotions, it’s best to keep blocking your ex.

Try unblocking him on a messenger app first. At least this signals to your ex that you’re open to talking. However, keep him off your Facebook, and Instagram feeds. You do not want to stir any jealous feelings that distract you from your new lifestyle.

RELATED: How Long Should You Wait To Talk To Your Ex After A Breakup

Do exes come back after they block you?

It’s hard to say whether an ex will come back after they block you. In general, if someone blocks you, it’s a clear statement that they want to move on. They want to move on from the bad breakup and get past what happened.

But blocking you now doesn’t mean that your ex won’t reach out in the future. After all, you were once an important person in your ex’s life. His best friend, partner, and confidante know his deepest secrets.

Once the emotional pain has subsided, and the healing process is complete, there’s always a chance that your ex-boyfriend will reach out and make amends. Maybe he wants to stay friends or clear the air. 

If you have been blocked by your ex now, don’t take it personally. It’s part of your ex’s healing process. He is going through the same emotional turmoil as you are and needs personal space and lots of time to heal from the broken relationship. If you want to know how your ex is doing, reach out to a mutual friend for a quick update.

Why would an ex unblock you?

Suppose you find out that your ex unblocks you, congratulations! You are off his blacklist. It’s good to feel accepted and possibly forgiven by your ex. But what does it mean?

An ex unblocking you could mean many things. Maybe your former flame wants to reach out, make amends, and nurture a promising friendship. Or possibly on the path to winning you back!

RELATED: The Definitive Guide: The No Contact Rule

Regardless of his intentions, the key is not to put too much thought into it and get your hopes up. Maybe it’s a selfish gesture for him to feel better, and your ex has no intentions of reaching out. It just makes him feel better to open a communication line with you (if you want to initiate contact).

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