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When you miss your ex, is it a good idea to reach out? And when you contact your ex, should you tell your ex you miss them? I have received many emails from my coaching clients on whether it’s good to say to their exes they miss them. It almost sounds like they’re presenting their feelings on a silver platter and hope pouring their heart out one last time will change their exes’ minds.
In most cases, telling your ex you miss them is a bad idea and will not go the way you expected. This is because your ex has no reason to care about the fact that you miss them, isn’t worried you might be thinking about them, doesn’t have any romantic feelings for you, and certainly won’t change their mind.
In other words, you’re facing a second rejection if you choose to express your feelings to someone who doesn’t feel the same way.
To save yourself a cold response from your ex and going through more depth of pain, my relationship advice is never to tell your ex-boyfriend you miss him. Those three little words, “I miss you,” tilt the balance of power in favor of your ex, which he will only boost his ego knowing that he has still had control over you.
Just because you miss him and wish things didn’t end doesn’t mean that he will feel the same way. Saying I miss you put your ex in control of the situation, which causes you to chase him and plead for his attention. From the moment you say those words, you let go of any power over the outcome and become powerless against your feelings.
I suggest rather than telling him that you miss him, focus on yourself and get your own life together instead.
I’m a firm believer that you should never tell your ex you miss him. Unless in cases where your ex genuinely expresses strong feelings for you and wants a romantic relationship again. But for the most part, should you tell your ex you miss him? The answer is no. No matter how much you think that after a breakup, that shouldn’t be hard to accept – it is hard!
Especially when your ex didn’t make it easy for you by doing things like cheating on you and breaking your heart, so don’t add more pain to an already painful situation by telling your ex that you miss him, it’s not fair and will only cause more hurt in the long run.
You’re not going to get a positive response by showing a sign of weakness. And what are the chances of your ex saying that he misses you too? I know that you’re feeling lonely, but being alone doesn’t mean you have to feel this way. There are many healthy ways to get your life back on track from the breakup, so don’t feel like you have to be alone. I know for most of us exes, our ex is someone we thought we would spend the rest of our lives with. After all, he did mean the world to you, and that’s why this breakup hurts.
But once you get that person out of your life, it doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. And after a couple of weeks or months from a breakup, you’ll only see your ex as a friend that you had good memories with (if that).
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If you are still contemplating whether to tell your ex you miss him, get the advice of people close to you and want the best for you. Have a conversation with people who understand your situation and explain why you’re thinking about telling your ex you miss him. It’s always healthy to share your thoughts and let people know where you’re coming from. But even if you have a strong feeling about your motives, you should be flexible with how others feel and consider their perspectives. If you’re going through the No Contact Rule, don’t waste time coming up with desperate actions to contact your ex-boyfriend.
It would be best if you were focusing on yourself and dealing with your complex emotions first. Then do whatever you feel is best and how you can enjoy your daily life again. But I strongly recommend not tell your ex you miss them.
The reality is that most of the time, you don’t need to tell your ex-boyfriend you miss them for them to get it. It’s unnecessary because they already know the fact that they hurt you enough to leave. And if they were a man, they would have already stood up and check how you’re doing.
Don’t get the wrong idea that you shouldn’t reach out to your ex. If you’re still dealing with complicated emotions, then that should be your focus first.
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There are many things that you can do to express your feelings. But texting your ex that you miss him doesn’t make any sense when he dumped you. So what do you expect from telling your ex that you miss them? Do you hope for a reply back? Do you want him to say that he misses you too?
Or are you hoping they’ll come back into your life and have the same feelings as to how they used to be before the breakup? Even in this type of situation, it’s not going to work. Your ex is already in a happy place with someone else, and if you expect them to be back for the same spark, it’s not going to happen.
If your ex hasn’t contacted you after some time, then it makes sense that it’s because they’ve moved on and want to keep their new lover a secret. One day, you might be able to get over the hurt, but until that time comes, don’t waste any more of your valuable time trying to get your ex-boyfriend back.
I know that it’s hard not to reach out to them. I was just as anxious before trying No Contact. But trust me, saying or doing things you want to do doesn’t make you feel better. It’s not going to bring back the relationship you once had together and will only add more hurt and loss to your life. While you’re in the process of working on yourself through the No Contact Rule, focus on other things that you enjoy doing.
Start by having a healthy relationship with yourself.
Eventually, your relationship with him will fade into the back of your mind, and don’t be scared to try new things. Soon enough, time will pass by, and you’ll start to feel better about your breakup.
Take a deep breath and let your worries go. Whether you think it’s a good idea to text your ex-boyfriend, it’s an impossible task to know if he will reply.
So what should you tell your ex when you miss them? It’s a better idea to let them miss you more instead of saying that you miss them too. When a man is missing someone, he wants to know that the feeling is mutual.
If you tell him that you miss him too, it will boost his ego and send him the wrong impression that he controls your emotions. When it comes to a breakup, the worst thing you can do is give your ex-boyfriend too much power. This will only act as a reminder of the bad times and will most likely lead to add more bitter feelings in your life.
It’s much better to stay silent and let your ex-boyfriend get the feeling of loss.
Give you and your ex a bit of time to recover. While it’s difficult to wait for them to respond, it will be a better decision in the end. I know that you might want to reach out to them, but please use your best judgment. If you think about it, you won’t be hurting anyone by waiting until they either contact or come to their senses.
Remember that if your ex doesn’t get back to you after some time, then it’s more than acceptable if he wants another person in his life now.
If you are ending the No Contact Rule, you should feel indifferent about your ex and living your life free and happy. Therefore, there’s no point in telling your ex that you miss him. If he hasn’t reached out yet, chances are your former flame has moved on too. But if you’re still going through a low period in your life, it makes sense to say or do some things that will make you feel good. Don’t have a pessimistic thought that will only make it harder for you to get over the breakup.
RELATED: Why Do I Miss My Ex So Badly?
If you’re still dealing with your pain and confusion, don’t stress yourself trying to make your ex-boyfriend remember how much he hurt you. It’s considered bad manners if someone is trying to be too desperate for them to want them back.
Bottom line, there’s never a good reason to tell your ex you miss them. Keep it to yourself and let those deeper feelings go. It’s a difficult life to carry that emotional baggage around when the broken relationship is over.
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