Things To Say To Your Ex That Will Mean Something To Them

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What are some things you can say to your ex who you still love and want to get back together with?

After a painful breakup, is there anything you can say that he will listen to?

You’re hurting, feeling lonely, and desperate to reach out to him and explain what went wrong.

But at the same time, you feel like you’re stepping on eggshells and anything you say will push him away more.

No worries ladies, I’ve prepared foolproof things that you can say to an ex you still love. Not only will this get his attention, but these are the best words to remind him of those good old times.

And it’s only a matter of time before he checks up on you.

Ready to get him back with nice and sweet things to bring back the spark?

But, before I go into this list, we need to do a little preparation. I know you’re dying to reach out to your man, but before you do, I need to lay down some rules:

1. It’s all about timing. Don’t race off to say or text something right after a breakup or continuously. You need to find the right time.

2. Everything you say should be neutral. Nothing romantic or trying to flirt. Sure, make him laugh or stroke his ego. But the key is to keep him relaxed.

3. Don’t expect your ex boyfriend to reply or reciprocate.

4. Don’t beg and lay your emotions into your words.

5. Keep your message short. Long messages scream desperation.

Should I Say Something in Person, The Phone, Or Text Message?

I highly recommend texting to start off. You’ll feel less pressured and more composed to craft what you want to say. It’s private, and you have full control of the time and message.

Plus, you save yourself all the emotions running through your mind when you see his face.

New System To Get Back

Things To Say To Your Ex – The List

Make sure to read to the last point because it’s the one many of our readers find most effective. It’ll throw him off and also put you in the driver’s seat.

Most likely, you’ll need to use all the expressions at some point. Make sure you have your answers ready when the moment comes.

1. Say Something Forgiving (And Unexpected)

Say this: I’m sorry.

It sounds simple, but if you are the reason that your relationship fell apart – a genuine apology can go a long way.

No, I’m not talking about getting down on your hands and knees and begging for forgiveness with tears in your eyes; you want to be apologetic, not pathetic. An apology that will get you back in your ex’s good graces is one that avoids excuses and simply takes responsibility for wrongdoing.

Did you get cold feet and bail on the relationship when you should have stayed?

Were your flirty ways just too much for him to handle?

Did your temper cause a fight to get way out of hand?

If your relationship fell apart because you behaved poorly, and you are now wondering what to say to make things right with your ex – you have to own responsibility for your part in the breakup and offer sincere remorse.

What happens when you make the breakup your fault is that you become in control of the problem and therefore have a solution to the problem.

And by fixing it, it will lead you back to a second chance with your ex boyfriend when he sees that you have taken action.

Also, it makes you more mature and understanding.

Keep your apology messages short and sweet. Here are a few examples:

I just want to apologize for how things went down. I hate that I hurt you and that I destroyed what we had. I know it’s my fault and I’m going to fix this problem so that we can both move on.

I owe you an apology. I don’t know when in the relationship I became too clingy. I realize now how annoying that can be and I’m willing to change. It’s really my fault that we are at this point in our relationship.

I’m sorry about our breakup. I really am. I’m not asking for forgiveness, but I just want to let you know that it was wrong to treat you that way and I’m going to change to be better. Because what happened to us is not who I want to be.

I’m sorry for that nasty fight the other night. I thought we had something going on great but the truth is that I took you for granted. I should’ve respected you more and put you first like you have for me.

Your ex-boyfriend won’t know what hit him.

Instead, he will find this a nice gesture and lower his defense system. If he doesn’t, he’s really not worth fighting for (sorry).

You admitted fault, and that’s what something anyone can appreciate and respect in a man’s world.

Assuming he still harbors feelings for you, saying “I’m sorry” can pave the way right back to happily-ever-after.

Best time to say this to your ex:
Wait at least 1 week. Let your emotions fade away so you can identify the problem to create a great apology.

Best to text him an apology to avoid any awkward silence.

RELATED: How To Talk To Your Ex: The Sassy Way Your Ex Will Respond

2. Bring Happy Memories Back With Your Ex

Say this: Remember that time when…

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in most cases, that is absolutely true. Time away from a relationship tends to make the bad parts of a pairing seem less and less important.

People forget what tore them apart and start to idealize the good memories instead.

There’s a lot of material you can use to say the right things to your ex that will trigger his good emotions.

But there’s an art to this, and subtlety is key.

You don’t want your ex to think you are trying to reel him back in. You just want to seem like an old friend reflecting on fond memories.

You can be covert like that, right?

Now what kind of memories best fits this type of message?

Pick moments and events that was all about your ex when he called all the shots.

His birthday / graduation / party. A ball game. Seeing his favorite movie.

Don’t pick any romantic events or anything that he did specially for you. This will seem like you’re making the statement all about you again and what he did for you.

Make it about him.

Here are a few ideas

Remember that time when we went to the Warriors game, and you caught one of the t-shirts in the air. You grabbed it just in time before the guy in front of us was about to jump for it. And it was very sweet that you gave it to the kid next to us.

Remember when we watched the last Avengers? Man, I can’t believe how crazy the crowd was. Can’t wait till the next sequel comes out.


Send a picture of something you two have done before and just text “Remember this?!”

See how one quick reminder will spark an entire memorable event? Your goal is to make him realize that you guys had all these great times together.

Best time to say this:
Ideally, you will have already employed the No Contact Rule for a month or two before embarking on a conversation with your ex. This will give some of those bad memories a chance to fade and will leave your ex primed for a reminder of what used to be.

With this particular phrase, your best bet is to wait until you run into your ex somewhere unexpectedly. Then, all you have to do is bring up one truly spectacular memory to reignite some of those old feelings and start opening some doors to reconciliation.

Take him down memory lane.

That being said, prepare some memories ahead of time and run them in your head.

Smile, laugh and look back together on what used to be. Your ex won’t know what hit him.

RELATED: Not Sure How To Talk To Your Ex? Here’s How To Talk With A Little Flair

3. What To Say When You’re Feeling Confident

Say this: I’m doing great!

There are two types of girls in this world: those who play the victim after a breakup and those who use separation as an opportunity to become new and improved versions of themselves.

You want to be the latter.

Look, I have seen this go down a thousand different times myself, and the girl who moves on with her life and finds happiness away from her ex is the one who always winds up getting a second shot at him.

Men can’t help themselves. They see a woman moving on, and they begin to wonder what they may have let go.

This isn’t just about saying sweet things to make him smile. It’s also about knowing how to make him jealous.

Because jealousy can often be the driving force behind his desire to want you back.

So how do you show your excitement without faking it and coming off too braggy?

Here are some things you can say:

I’m doing great! I’ve decided to take those project management classes to get an edge at work. My boss is already giving me new projects to prepare for a new division in our company. So I’m excited about that. Oh, and I’m also taking yoga classes down the street. Remember that one, Yoga Zen? Yup, signed up for the membership.

I’m doing pretty good. My coworker got me a great deal on this car, and I’m thinking about taking a mini road trip with the girls this spring break. We haven’t seen each other for a year, so this is going to be fun to catch up.

Things are going quite well right now. I’m trying a lot of new things lately. You remember that Thai restaurant with crazy reviews on Yelp? Jenny and I made the 2-hour drive last week to check it out. Their green curry is unbelievable! Worth the drive.

Tell him about your future plans. It’s attractive as hell and a sign that you’re moving forward with your life.

Men find women who are taking steps to accomplish their goals irresistible. They love success and want to be a part of it.

Exude that confidence and wear your happiness all over your face. This only works if life is going great for you, so you have to put the work in to pursue some other passions and chase a few dreams.

Remember, your actions have to match up with your words.

Good things come to those who are willing to take risks. And building a life you can gloat about just a little the next time you see your ex is simply icing on the cake.

Best time to say this: anytime he asks you how you are doing. Be prepared to show excitement but don’t make the conversation all about yourself.

Keep it short, and if he’s interested, he’ll ask more about it.

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4. Say Something To Bring Feelings Into The Conversation

Say this: This made me think of you.

All too often men expect women to hold a grudge for ages following a breakup. And to be fair, that’s probably because most of us do. Let’s be real ladies. We have all done the spiteful thing in the past.

Although, I am neither confirming nor denying my own post-breakup transgressions.

The point is, men are prepared for us to go crazy after a split. But if you go the opposite direction and remain kind and sincere in your interactions after your breakup, not only will you surprise him – you might get him thinking that he made a mistake in letting you go.

One way to do this is to ever so subtly let him know that he is still on your mind. The perfect words to get your ex back are sometimes those that are accompanied by peace offerings.

Maybe you visited his favorite microbrewery and decided to pick him up a growler. Or perhaps you read a book that you just knew he would love.

Was at the Globe last night and they have a new craft beer called The Owl Blend. Definitely thought this is your type of beer. Go try it out!

Just passed Ross’ Bike Shop and they have a sale on accessories. Go check it out..


Send a photo of something that reminds you of your ex or something he’s interested in with a simple text “this reminds me of you!

Saying to an ex “Hey, this made me think of you!” before passing something along that you know he will enjoy can show your former flame that you aren’t on the verge of breaking down.

In fact, you’re doing just fine – and are totally open to being friends.

Which, for the record, is how most relationships wind up rekindling. Once you’ve been intimate with somebody, it is almost impossible to go back to being just friends. So if you can slide into that friend spot, you’re only a few hangouts away from reclaiming your rightful title as his girlfriend.

Again this needs to be done in a confident and completely natural manner – no blubbering with tears as you hand over some uber-expensive gift or make everything awkward by declaring your desire to be friends.

Don’t overthink it. Just let it happen. The words to say to get him back are the ones that flow with ease and sincerity.

Best time to say this: Make your ex has cooled down and didn’t have any anger over you.

Therefore, a text message is your best bet.

If this is your first message to him, send him a photo of something that would interest him and only text “thought you might like this”.

Don’t expect a reply. Just see how it goes. If he replies “thanks” or anything subtle, it’s a big step towards your big goal.

Get My Guide To Survive Your Breakup: Breakup Is Over

5. Give Your Ex Boyfriend A Litte Ego Boost

Say this: I always knew you could.

You were always your ex-boyfriend’s biggest cheerleader, and without you in his life, you can almost guarantee he is missing that constant support.

After all, you were the one that he wanted to impress most.

So why not give him a little taste of what it used to be?

One surefire thing to say to an ex-boyfriend that you still love is something that boosts his ego. If you find out that your ex has achieved some great accomplishment – he ran his first marathon, got a promotion, or competed in a local cooking competition – feel free to reach out and express your pride.

Make the conversation brief and just congratulatory.

You want to wish him the best. Nothing more.

Here are a few examples:

Just saw Jerry’s post that you had a journal article published – this is amazing! Congrats!

Wow, congrats on finishing the Crossfit Challenge! Knew you could always do it.

Did you make that? Looks delicious!

Letting your ex know you still think he is someone pretty special may spark a flame that hasn’t quite yet gone out.

Best time to say this:
Most likely you’ll get his updates from social media. Just wait till a few people have congratulated him and jump on board.

Don’t be the first one. It’ll seem too obvious that you’re spying on him.

And make sure to keep it short, sweet, and neutral.

RELATED: Should I Talk To My Ex? Here’s When It’s OK To Talk Again

6. Show Some Class By Saying You’re Over The Breakup

Say this: It’s okay. I’m over it.

This is something special to say. But don’t be mistaken because I’m not referring to you being over your ex.

Instead, I’m referring to the fight that ended your relationship and all the negative baggage that came with it.

That’s right, you’re over the breakup. And it’s a good thing to let him know.

So when do you say something like this to your ex and not be mistaken that you’re completely over him?

When he asks how you are doing and possibly wants to apologize.

Just simply let him know that you’ve come around the nasty fight, cooled down, and ready to move on. Admit that you are at fault at some of the things and that you’ll work on yourself.

If he apologizes, reciprocate too (tell him it’s not all of his faults).

The key here is to let your ex-boyfriend know that the breakup was just a temporary bump in the relationship. Some harsh things were said, but they were minor compared to the great relationship that you two once had.

Let him know that you’re over the breakup, but you are on good terms with him.

Here are some ideas

It’s okay. I’m over the breakup. I shouldn’t have said those things about you.

It’s okay. I’ve cooled down a bit. I glad to have this time to reflect.

I’m doing alright. Still trying to get over the breakup but I’m getting there.

I’ve been better. But I do regret saying those things to you. How are you holding up?

RELATED How To Respond To An Ex Asking How You Are With Dignity

7. Say How Much You Appreciate Your Ex’s Support

Okay, here’s something you must say to your ex-boyfriend, regardless if you want to win him back or not.

Thank you.

This one goes back to surprising your ex with your post-breakup attitude. He is expecting you to scream and throw eggs at his car. What he isn’t expecting is for you to thank him for all the ways in which he added to your life.

Because let’s be real, you wouldn’t want him back if he didn’t make your life better.

So acknowledge him for that.

Pick up the phone and say, “You know what, I’ve been thinking, and I really want to thank you..

Provide examples of how he helped you to learn and grow as a person, and tell him you will always be grateful for the role he played in your life. Don’t push for anything beyond that.

Simply let your gratitude show.

Here are a few ideas:

Hey, thanks a lot for always being there for me. I knew you had my back.

Thanks a lot for always going out of your way to do things for me.

I couldn’t have done a lot of things without your support.

Thanks for making me a better person and always trying to make me laugh.

Thanks for always believing in me. You really had my back.

Show your appreciation, and your ex will feel instant relief and win.

The beauty is that he won’t be able to help reflecting back on the ways you helped him to learn and grow as well. Reminding him of the good you brought to each other will get him wondering whether or not it might be worth a second shot.

Best time to say this:
Anytime is good to express your appreciation. It’ll throw him off and make him think twice about what went wrong.

You can’t thank someone enough.

8. Talk Stuff Out To Clear Your Mind And Thoughts

Say this: What Happened To Us?”happened to us?

This is one of those topics where we lay down the truth and open up.

Let’s clear the air and hit the refresh button.

When you’re looking back at your relationship with your ex, I’m sure this is one of those things you want to ask and determine what part of relationship went sour and how you two can prevent it.

I remembered when I started to talk to my ex again. This was a question that he brought up during our fourth lunch together. We were having a good time just catching up and laughing when he suddenly just said, “Hey, what happened to us?

I thought for about a minute and replied, “I don’t know, life and everything that tried to break us apart.

Okay, I was trying to sound smart and not break the vibe. But it worked because my ex just smiled and agreed.

So when you and your ex are on good terms and meeting up occasionally, ask him “Hey, what happened to us?

It really shows that you care about the relationship. And him.

Now, if your ex asks you this question, here are a few ideas to consider:

I don’t know. Somehow I just became too controlling because I felt a little imbalanced.

I think I just became too dependent and I’m sure that put too much pressure on you. Sorry.

I just forgot to enjoy moments like this with you.

We let life get in our way of having fun.

I think we just forgot to laugh and took each other for granted.

Keep your answer simple and sweet. You can admit fault (which he’ll appreciate), or you can find a common issue that caused you two to drift away.

RELATED: Questions To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend Before It Gets Awkward

9. Say Nothing (Recommended)

Finally, we are at the last point which is the most effective one. The one I highly recommend you to take if you want your ex to reach out and ask to get back together.

That’s right, say nothing.

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

This is exactly what you should do at the very beginning of the breakup until he breaks the silence. Keep your silence and focus on cooling your emotions and preparing everything you should say for all the points above.

Don’t rush to say something to him especially when your emotions are running high. You’ll just come across as desperate and helpless.

This is what you should be practicing during the No Contact Rule.

And I know it’s really hard to sit there and wait to see if your ex contacts you. You’re also keen to spy on him and see what he is up to.

Whatever you do, don’t break your silence.

Cause it’s a sign that you’ll crawl back to him.

And that’s a sign of weakness to your ex-boyfriend, making it’s too easy for him.

He might turn around and walk away.

Remember when your ex chased you around town to get you to agree on your first date?

Here’s the big secret: The fact that your ex hasn’t heard from you makes him wonder what you’re up to. He will all these questions in his head about what you’re up to and will be naturally curious to do a little recon to see if you have moved on.

The person who keeps their silence the longest wins.

RELATED: Should I Talk To My Ex? Here’s When It’s OK To Talk Again

Should I Say Mean Hurtful Things To My Ex?

The short answer is NO.

There is no reason to go low at any point. Even if your ex says nasty things about you, we always go high ladies.

Don’t drop to his level. The more you ignore his mean comments, the dumber he looks trying to be funny.

There’s no reason to say any mean things to your ex. It doesn’t do anyone any good and only hurts you more because you want to retaliate.

Also, keep the snappy comebacks to yourself. No matter how hard it is to bite your tongue, it’s not worth having karma come back and bite you in later on.

I know you want to stand up for yourself. But the best way to do this shows him that your life is better without him.

Men are attracted to success. If he sees you better off without him, it’ll make him jealous.

In addition to mean things not to say, here are some other things you shouldn’t say to your ex at all:

“I miss you.”

“I’d do everything different this time.”

“I’m here if you need me.”

“I think you are the one.”

“I will do anything for you.”

“I know love because of you. There is no one else but you.”

“ If I am still your girl…”

“Let’s be friends.”

Do you see the common theme here? Don’t beg or sound desperate to get him back!

New System To Get Back

What About Saying Something Funny?

By all means, go for it but don’t expect a conversation out of it. If you send him a photo of something funny, don’t get offended if he doesn’t reply.

My suggestion is to post something funny on your Facebook or Instagram account and see if he responds. If he does, then it’s a sign that he’s keeping a tab on you and it could be safe to send him a funny text or photo through his phone.

If your ex doesn’t want to hear from you, then a funny text isn’t just going to light up the mood.

If you’re not sure what to text him, then check out this article on texts that will get your ex back.

Should I Say Something About Getting Back Together?

Okay, I’m sure this is what you are looking for and something I’ve eluded throughout the article.

The short answer is: you don’t say anything about getting back together.

Instead, you say all the things (like the points above) that signal your ex-boyfriend that you’re ready to go another round with him.

And you let him chase you again. This time, with the new you.

The reason why I don’t recommend telling your former flame directly that you want to get back together is because it makes you look weak. And if you come across the wrong way, he might think you’re manipulating him.

Yup, guys might think this is all a setup.

Don’t tell him what you want. Show him what he deserves.

Someone as awesome as you who will rock his world again.

Get My Guide On Dealing With Breakups: Breakup Is Over

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What To Read Next

48 replies on “Things To Say To Your Ex That Will Mean Something To Them”

okay so I have no clue what to do, I really want my ex back, he broke up with me cause we barely talked and there was like nothing to talk about, he would always be with his friends and I would just be standing there. I always tried starting conversations but he said that I would have a little response and barely talk afterwards when he started one, but it’s the same way for him when I ask him something. I want to talk to him but I don’t know what to say. What should I do?

We broke up, because of the stress from a miscarriage. Its been almost a year, and i want him back soo bad, and he wants me too, but doesnt want to ‘go through that again’…what am i supposed to do? He just sent me the ‘maybe we should just be friends’ text..

My bf n just broke up for good because hes stuck on my past routine, of cheating which I omit freely I did. I cheated on him while he was locked up For 26 months. Since he’s been home I never cheated on him….but like I said he afraid n stuck on my past history, I don’t blame him but what can I say or do to prove to him it won’t happen again? Plz help he’s The love of my life, my soul mate, my twin flame.The only man I want n I feel complete with.

My ex broke up with me. My cousin stole my phone and desided to prank my exs sister buy calling her. And acting like it was me. Then my cousin said some pretty harsh things to her. My cousin told my ex that it was her. idk what he thinks if he believes her or not. But he got mad at me for it saying I couls of tried harder to stop it. Ig I couldn’t. Its only been 3 days and I already miss him! I want him back but we both said harsh things to each other. I want to tell him how I feel but I know hes to upset to listen. I cant stop thinking about him I want him back!!! But I don’t think he feels the same. And if I tell him how I feel I think he would just get mad at me. I want him back or just to be friends but how?

Hi charice,

I have read all of your advice and I’m really hoping it can work for me but I’m not so sure…

My boyfriend broke up with me after 9 months. We were quite on and off with him always being the one to end it. We were good, he would always tell me I’m out of his league. The first time he ended it he blindsided me after a lovely weekend together saying he didn’t want a relationship after being in a relationship for 5 years with a girl who cheated on him. We got back together but it wasn’t really official, I asked him if he wanted to come to my home town when my family were away which is when he ended things again saying he didn’t want a relationship and to do things like that and to go on holiday and any other couple things. He would put everyone before me as he said he put his ex girlfriend first and he regretted it and wasn’t going to do that again and also he wanted to focus on his career as it was his first year in London.

This lasted for a couple of weeks and then we started hanging out again. He got me a really lovely birthday present, met all my friends, I met all of his, he even spoke about going to Greece with him (he’s Greek). Things were going okay, we would argue about silly things now and then especially as he was still really bad at communicating with me and would sometimes cancel on me with no apology or explanation. In November we got into an argument over this and I went crazy telling him it was really rude but he couldn’t see where I was coming from. I still kept sending loads of messages with barely any response from him. He went back to Greece for a week and when he came back he ended things saying he wasn’t happy and wanted something else. I said I wanted to talk but he said we had nothing to talk about, he had made up
His mind and that’s it. I did NC for 3 weeks before I snap chatted him (how we started talking every time before) he didn’t reply. I messaged him a few days later, no reply. I went another few weeks but occasionally snapchatting him- no reply.

I noticed he followed a girl on Instagram and liked one of her old photos, she did the same to him. They also became friends on Facebook and she immediately commented on his profile picture “handsome” (this is very keen behaviour,not playing it cool at all) unnoticed he also liked her photo too. I’m scared he’s dating her (she’s Greek too) but I’m hoping it’s just a rebound.

I tried messaging at Christmas but still no reply. I’m going to do NC for a full month with no snapchats or anything this time.

I still have hope because he looks at every single snapchat and Instagram story I post and I know before with ex’s they either delete me or they don’t bother looking but he looks at every single one and if it was me I wouldn’t look as I would want to be moving on.

I’m scared that is it this time and this new girl might be something serious but I also have a gut feeling that this isn’t the end and that if only he was in the right place and it was the right time that things could work and we could have a proper relationship where we communicate. Do you think I’m wasting my time?

Hey been in the no contact rule for a month plus now I started texting him back but the first time I texted him,he called back but didnt pick up bcz I was not yet ready n sure about wat he was going to say,so I cobtinued texting which is once after a day or two no replies thought he has never replied,n neither has he told me to stop texting him,he initially had blocked me on whatsap now he unblocked me .bcz I see him on line but I am abit scared to whatsap him instead I use normal msgz my worry is if I whatsap him n hid not yet ready he might block me again and that woulf hurt me alot more just seeing him on line gives me hope,I love him miss him some pipo say may be he wanted to talk to me that time he called wen I first texted but I dont want him to think that I cant live without him,what shud I do now should I continue texting him shud I tell him I still love him or shuf I just back off and wait for him to reach out plz help me with advice please

My bf and I brokeup 2 weeks ago, a week after a fight.
He told me that I have mood Swings, but I was only mad at him because he didnt talk to me for a few days and I wanted him to tell me in advance when he couldnt talk to me for a few days.
Well he called me crazy and told me to fuck off.
Do I still have a chance?
He as problems at Home and also he s depressed.
I accepted him like he was and still do..

My ex keeps saying we or I need to change, we argued little. Twice in the month we broke up in. He said I need to stop being upset that he leaves and didn’t let me explain my part of it. I was pissed and so was he so be ended it. Now I’m waiting to start a conversation. I’m on day one of not talking to him. I am bussing myself with work, and other guy friends and he is jealous of the other people I talk too. I reminded him he left me so he has no business being jealous. Anyway. How long should I wait to talk to him? I truly love him and he made me a very happy person.

Hi….I’ve reconnected with a man after about 34 years. He’s only 3 years older than me but has a hangup about his age…he’s only 60. When we were young…we had some amazing times and I really car red for him. I was also going with a guy at the moment we’d broken up…and he’d caught me with this other man a couple of times…and threatened to beat him up. He got tired after a while because I couldn’t seem to make my mind up who I really wanted…so he moved on. My boyfriend an I actually got back together for about 2 more years. Then we went our separate ways…but not before I got pregnant and had his child. We just fought way too much. We were not good for each other. Go ahead about 34 years and the man I had given up to be with my boyfriend comes back into my life via facebook…well I feel a whole lot more about him than I’d admit to myself. I don’t think he trusts me even after 34 years. He’s been married 4 times….me 1 time. How can we mend the love we once shared and how do we get that trust back. It does concern me he’s had 4 previous marriages…sincerely Cat

I have a problem I’m torn between two guys what should I do one my ex boyfriend I been with for 2 years the othe guy I been with for 5 months

If you think your boyfriend deserves another chance to be your one and truly then go for it . If that person you have been with for 5 months has proven to be worthy and cares for you then give him a chance. You can’t have both but you can always try and find the better person.

My ex was the one i really cared about I thought about him 24/7 and I thought he cared about me we were together for half a year and the i’m the the one with a broken heart. I love to do basketball and me and him would go to the court and play it together but now i’m playing against myself. I don’t think i’m even winning. I miss him and want him back I said some pretty hurtful things to him, he did also but still doesn’t get rid of the hurt inside i wasn’t mad because he broke my heart but because he promised he wouldn’t.

My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me a month ago saying he didn’t have feelings for me anymore and probably hadn’t for over a year. I guess the part hardest to digest is a year ago I was physically, financially and emotionally helping supporting him through a cancer battle. I had thought we were growing closer by this and about 6, months ago had a serious possible marriage conversation. So yes I am VERY confused by this. I went through the crying, angry begging asking tons of questions phase. I am still hurt and confused but acting as normal as i can be. Pretending i have accepted his decision. I am allowing him to still live with me while he just started working full time again to save money so he can get his own place. I have moved to the sofa to sleep but still bring him his morning coffee and make his to go lunch. We can still hang out and watch TV together at times and are civil when home together. When I feel any tension I am usually the one to walk away from the situation. We hug now when one of us leaves the house instead of the usual kiss and I love you as everyday for 6 years before this. I want him back and things to be normal again before he officially moves out. Any advice.

Oh god…my ex bf broke up with me a few weeks ago when he said he couldnt live with a person who exuded jealous tendancies. I begged him to let me prove myself but he said no. My mother rang him to try to convince him as well but he said he had made up his mind even tho he thought I was a great girl. I emailed him and totally vented saying I would find somebody better etc and said some mean things out of hurt. He emailed me back saying he had thought of getting back and was almost convinced and then when he got my email he was thankful now he thought twice. I still love him and want him back. I emailed back saying I was an arse and I was sorry and wished him well. Have I ruined things for good?? Its harder as this was a LDR :(

I know how you feel my ex thought twice and he thought of getting back with me but then he was glad he didn’t. I was devastated when he told me he had saw my true colors,he must have been color blind.

I went to a restaurant with my friend and I couldn’t keep my eyes off the waiter. After going there several times, I knew I had to leave my number. (I later found out that he noticed me too and told the hostess if I ever came in again to seat me in his section) He texted me and we planned to hang out the next day. (I have never been so excited in my life.) He went to Mississippi to get a car before we had a chance to go on our date. From there he found out his best friends dad died, so he randomly just moved to Texas. So I haven’t seen him since and its been 2 months now. But he has texted me every day since then and started to call me almost every night. He even asked me to go on a cruise with him next month. He told me that he couldn’t believe I was still talking to him because of his past, but he has changed and now he loves God more than any guy I’ve ever met, which is so important to me. But this past week he has been short with me. He hasn’t called me in a week and hasn’t texted me in 2 days now. I know it doesn’t seem like a long time, but it went from him talking to me no joke everyday to almost nothing. The night before all this, he called me and we had a great conversation. I just don’t know what just happened?

My ex recently broke up with me because he cheated. I know that should be a clear sign that he’s not worth it but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about getting back together with him and trying again. I know he still likes me and I still like him, a lot, but he doesn’t respond to my messages anymore because he thinks I “deserve better”, and he thinks getting back with me wouldn’t be right. What can I say to him to make him give us another chance? Or at least get him to talk to me like we used to.

My ex and I broke up because I said I wanted to end it out of anger. Now he completely wants to cut things off because I hurt him. Although I know I didn’t mean what I said, how do I get him to believe me? Please help!

Send him a sincere apology and don’t expect a reply from him. Just let him know that you’re wrong and you will change to be a better person. Give yourself 30 days to really work on yourself and prove to him that you’re a new person when you’re ready.

I’m in a similar situation. A week after we broke up I wrote my boyfriend an apology letter and explained that I knew I had developed some bad habits and that I understand what he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Basically saying I was sorry and accepting the breakup.

I called him once on the phone after the break up, He didnt answer, and then he called me back. It was short and sweet convo and I let him know I was interested in his life and just hinted at something funny that made me think of him and the conversation ended on a positive note. We didn’t talk about the breakup at all.

I’m starting NC now and have filled my schedule with cooking classes, art classes and trips for the next month and half. I’ve also been seeing a therapist weekly since the breakup and working on my own issues. I was curious what to do if I do decided to begin contact after 30+ days NC or whenever I feel ready. You say above “to prove to him that you’re a new person”.. Do you have to begin with simple texts to open the door of conversation and let them see you in a better light, the girl they fell in love with? Or do you ask them to meet with you or send a letter explaining the changes that you’ve made?

Most of the time, word gets out to your ex. He’ll find a way to see what you’re up to (even if he’s not interested) through mutual friends or social media. If you feel ready to contact him, you can always initiate the first conversation and see how he respond. Keep in mind that during the first contact, don’t make it all about you even if your goal is to impress him and show him you’ve changed. Put the attention on him and show genuine interest in him.

My ex and I broke up over a month ago and I’ve tried the no contact method but I still like him. Also he’s reasontly messaged me saying he still likes me but I’m not sure whether I should get back with him. Got any advice?

Are there any reasons you would want to get back with him? If you are unsure, you can just stay casual. Just don’t be invested more in the relationship than he is. This will break your heart more if things go south.

My ex broke up with me a few weeks ago, he said I was too b****y. I told him I wouldnt have been if you texted me once in a while. I still love him, n I think hes starting to like me again. But im not so sure gettin back together with him is a good idea if it happens, n he wants to hang out tomorrow. I want to n I cant stop thinking about it. I dont knkw what to do!! We been through so much together, and everytime I have 2 minutes to myself he os all I think about!! I need some help! I feel trapped please help me.

Me and my ex broke up and he says he has feelings for another girl and I’m doing my best to win him over but he can’t decide who he wants

Be patient and give him the time he needs to decide. This is a bit counterintuitive, but if you show him that you don’t need him in your life to be happy, he’ll be more drawn to you.

First of all, i really appreciate the work you are doing for people and showing them a right path to follow, in order to get back the person they love.
My ex has a problem that she completely disappears after some time and she stops responding to my text, calls or anything..
In other words, she ignores me..She has done it many times and then she simply apologises for this but we fight..
last time when she did the same but apologised again i told her that it’s for the last time..she said okay and said that i won’t do it again..
After this, she did the same thing again and i texted her that i am tired of this and i need a break..
it’s been a month. Since then, i am doing no contact..
Now, i want to make a move but i can’t find a proper text to send..
pls help me. I love her and want her back..

He said he didn’t think he was treating me right and wouldn’t be able to see each other because he’s going to be going to college and working and he lives like 20 minutes away. I’ve been showing him I’m changing because he said that it bothers him the way we argued and I would argue with my family and I really am changing. We just broke up like 5 days ago though and we’re still in contact. When we broke up he told me he still loves me and kissed my cheek before he left. I love him so much and I can barely go a day without talking to him.

Your ex has other priorities to focus on and can’t fully commit his energy and time to you. In other words, he’s emotionally unavailable. There’s not much you can do but respect his decisions and support it. It’s okay to stay in touch here but make sure you are moving on and attending to your priorities too. Don’t “wait” for him. Go on with your life.

I’ve said a lot of unforgiving things to my ex while we were broken up.. I don’t see him ever forgiving me or missing me after that. It was the straw that broke the camels back.. I know it depends on the person whether they forgive you or not. But I feel so stuck. All I want is to make it better or get my friend back at least (we were friends before dating) but I can’t even get him to reply to a nice short text. I get why he wouldn’t want to talk to me. What’s there to talk about I guess.. I know you are suppose to move on and give it time, which I haven’t, but I don’t see him ever coming back or forgiving me even in time.. So I guess I don’t see the point.. but I miss him like crazy..

I’ve now got a role in a film!!!! I’m following these examples and I feel great :D but I do want him back and I hope this works

My ex is 11 years older than me. We have the best connection I could possibly imagine. But he thinks that we should wait a while and if we are meant to be then we will get back together eventually. We broke things off about 3 months ago. He still says he loves me, and we recently started hanging out again and had sex a couple times. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to have sex again at first because he said it wouldn’t change our situation. I understand his thoughts and concerns about wanting to be with me but thinking the right thing to do is wait. But I have thought long and hard about it all and I truly believe he is my one and only. How do I get him to stop worrying about what’s right or wrong and just follow his heart and be with me?

What is he worried about and why does he want to wait? For the perfect timing? Janine, there is no perfect timing except when the action is taken. Are you being exclusive to him? Is he being exclusive to you? You need to show him that you have other options and won’t wait around for him. This is the only way for him to act and make you exclusive.

Great advice and all true. The important thing though is having the patience and allowing time to pass. I made the constant mistake of pushing my agenda and finally realized how disrespectful I was being regarding his boundaries. Began working oneself with NC and therapy and what a difference only 12 days makes. I can’t imagine what 30 or 60 will do. If I’m at a different place then and ready to start over, I plan to send a text saying “hi… I got your number from a mutual friend. I heard you were nice and a great friend. So… Hi!”. If he has moved on I’m in a better place to accept that now. All these points are great to
Implement after a NC period though.

You are absolutely on the right track. I’m really happy for you. I think what’s important to understand here is that you made a commitment to change during the NC period rather than just let time pass by. This is the key difference. I’m glad you found the post helpful.

If I were u I would get my friend to admit to him that she told him that….if he still was mad after that he probably is not a keeper… If he trly loves u he will forgive and get over it

My bestfriend used my account and told him screwu cause she didn’t like him then I logged in he thought it was me then he got so pissed I explained and he didn’t listen he broke up with me…we fight everyday he asks me things like ‘who’s ur crush’ ‘how’s he’ and he knows I have none….he thinks I’m doing great but I love him and want him (I’m clueless)

It’s best to cut off any communication you have with your ex for now. Give each other space to cool off.

I did cut off contact for weeks, and I got him to like me again, but somehow I screwed it up again just when he was starting to like me. what do I do now.

It’s important for you to address the problems that cause the relationship to fail first. Since it’s a second time around, you’ll have to be truly genuine that you’ve changed and the issues won’t happen again.

I keep sleeping with my ex boyfriend. It seems like I can’t find no one else and he has another woman. What should I do? I seem desperate!

Guys prey and sense on desperation and will never take you seriously. It’s just too easy for them to come and go as they please. You need to boost your self-worth and let him know that he’s not the only one. Keep your distance.

Prove to him that you still love . Maybe he thought your relationship was one sided and in order to have a healthy relationship you have to trust each other and do things that will make each other feel satisfied with the relationship.
It’s happen to me actually so I can relate …

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